User:Isagreen/sandbox: Difference between revisions

This is a user sandbox of Isagreen. You can use it for testing or practicing edits. This is not the sandbox where you should draft your assigned article for a dashboard.wikiedu.org course. To find the right sandbox for your assignment, visit your Dashboard course page and follow the Sandbox Draft link for your assigned article in the My Articles section. Get Help

I couldn't figure out where to put your peer review because you and Savannah are assigned to the same article, so I'm putting it here:

User: Isagreen

Article: Draft:Capitalocene#Feudalism to Capitalism & Draft:Capitalocene#Neoliberalism

Feedback:

• The tone of the text is balanced and neutral, and both sides of arguments are fairly represented. The text is well-cited with many reputable sources. These sections were well-written and interesting to read!
• In both the Feudalism to Capitalism and Neoliberalism sections, it is not immediately clear the relevance to the Capitalocence. Beginning each section with how these topics are related to the Capitalocene, which is currently addressed a few lines into the sections, would help readers to immediately understand the connection.
• The transitional words (“further”, “moreover”) at the start of subsections make the text read like an essay, instead of stand-alone text. I would recommend removing them, but this is just a matter of personal preference!
• Throughout the text, I noticed the use of capitalization. I know Wikipedia’s stance on (sub-)headings is only the first word and proper nouns are capitalized. I’m not sure if capitalization of certain words (e.g., Sexism, Racism, Deforestation) is a disciplinary stylistic choice, or just because those words are hyperlinked to other articles.
• It might be helpful if the image descriptions were slightly more descriptive and explained specifically how they related to the text. For example, how is the illustration of Columbus’ landing in the Americas relevant to feudalism and the Capitalocene?