- Genevieve Aubois: I coach a girls hockey team so I know my way around a gash.
- Rabbit: Is that a...
- Genevieve Aubois: Oui. A double entendre for "la vagine".
- Paramedic: Get me 50 CCs of morphine, shaving cream and a razor.
- Rabbit: A razor for what?
- Paramedic: To remove the hair off your testicles. I have to stitch you up.
- Rabbit: Why would you need to stitch me up? It's like a paper cut. All we need to do is get a little Band-Aid. Hey, guys!
- Mac: Happy trails!
- Captain O'Hagan: Looks like the rook is getting his nuts shaved after all.
- Farva: Hold your bones. Rabbit's car. The dash cam! Look at this.
- Captain O'Hagan: Ooh, you clever little prick, you.
- Farva: Prick? I'm tired of these putdowns!
- Mac: It's a compliment, shithead.
- Farva: Fuck you, midget Burt Reynolds.
- Trooper Callaghan: Cap, you know how hard I worked on this thing? Big face, big mustache.
- Captain O'Hagan: I don't care how big your face is. Shave it!
- Farva: Cap, Cap, Cap, Cap! I'm good right? I got a tight mouth-muff.
- Captain O'Hagan: Talk about big faces.
- Mac: That's face-ism, Cap.
- Captain O'Hagan: Not regulation! Shave it!
- [first lines]
- Trooper Callaghan: Do you know how fast you were going?
- Bus Driver: No, I don't, Officer.
- Genevieve Aubois: Wait, wait. Where is the fat one's desk?
- Rabbit: Right there. You don't know his name?
- Genevieve Aubois: Flarvia.
- Rabbit: I smell a new nickname.
- Captain O'Hagan: Is Farva near by?
- Mac: Oh, yeah. Spitting distance.
- Captain O'Hagan: Do me a favor, spackle his mouth shut.
- Guy LeFranc: Your rabbit wasn't quick enough. Maybe next time, he'll hop a little faster, eh?
- Thorny: If anything happens to him, I'm gonna fuck you six ways to Sunday!
- Guy LeFranc: Jeez Louise. Now I know who gobbled all my Flova Scotia.
- Captain O'Hagan: Let's go and give those Canuckleheads a good old-fashioned red-white-and-blue, fist-fucking?
- Farva: What are you two doing together? Mall walking?
- Genevieve Aubois: We ran into each other at the pet store.
- Farva: Rabbit. You shopping for a new gerbil?
- Farva: I don't need some nerd in a lab coat to tell me what this shit is.
- Thorny: Sometimes even I've gotta hand it to you, you weird son of a bitch.
- Mac: But why is it that you chew a pill yet you swallow M&M's whole?
- Farva: I'm a complicated guy, Mac.
- Mac: Okay. All right. See you boys in the Renaissance period.
- American Driver: What we thought you said was the key to life is a *penis* in your *asshole*.
- Mac: Sacre bleu, Non! You Americans think everyone want to fuck you! NO ONE want to fuck you! Merde!