Baby, when a book makes me tear up in public...that's how you know it's real.
I'm the type of emotionally unavailable where you've only one time cried Baby, when a book makes me tear up in public...that's how you know it's real.
I'm the type of emotionally unavailable where you've only one time cried in front of your best friend of several years, and also the only time you did was mostly by accident (a closed door was opened), and also that was in spite of the fact that you lived with said friend for three of those several years.
So for me to cry is already momentous. But in PUBLIC?! Now we're really getting wild.
Nina LaCour is like Emily Henry or Sarah Hogle or Sally Rooney in that she writes books that make me feel simultaneously better and SO much worse. For Emily Henry and Sarah Hogle, that is because they write these little perfect realistic worlds that are completely unattainable.
For Nina LaCour and Sally Rooney, that is because they perfectly capture how icky and tiring and cumbersome it often feels to be in my head and live my life, and then those characters sometimes get happy endings. (Sometimes they don't, because Sally Rooney is a monster I'm in love with, but usually they do.)
This is so hard to read, but in a good way and it made my heart hurt but in a mostly good way too.
Bottom line: Ouch!
(Note: I didn't want to detract from the ~flow~ I had going while writing this review to note what I didn't like, but I also hate four-star reviews that have nothing bad to say, so: I thought the first half of this kind of outweighed the second in terms of making things seem a-okay, and some horrible things happened that I don't think were given the proper time or consideration, and some of these relationships seemed to spring out of nowhere fully formed, as though from Zeus' forehead.)
(But this was mostly very good.)
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i didn't even have time to mark this book as currently reading.
for a status update obsessive like myself, that's high praise.
What is life but for a cycle of suffering, the most intense moments coming when you least expect them?
I mean, sorry to be all doom and gloom on the TLWhat is life but for a cycle of suffering, the most intense moments coming when you least expect them?
I mean, sorry to be all doom and gloom on the TL today, but 1) it's accurate, you can't say it's not, 2) I'm being True To Myself and that's soooo important, and 3) I didn't like this book much even though I liked the one that came before it, and that's devastating even when I'm not in my shakiest mental state since my junior year of high school.
Oversharing is glamorous, right?
Anyway. Where Dear Martin had compelling characters and a good story and effortlessly woven-in social justice themes, this felt...flat. I think it'd be really important to have an impactful young adult book about the prison system, but prison somehow didn't figure into this much at all, even though our main character is IN PRISON. The day-to-day reality was pretty nonexistent, which was disappointing.
I also just...didn't care about the characters as much. And I read this pre-mental breakdown, so we can't blame that.
Bottom line: Sad! Not bad, but sad for sure.
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well. lightning doesn't strike twice
(lightning, in this case, is me liking a book.)
review to come / 3 stars
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can't even remember the last time i was so excited about a book that i immediately picked up the sequel...more
I've just realized...I don't really have anything to say about this book.
I did enjoy the representation. I find Angie Thomas's writing style very ...
I've just realized...I don't really have anything to say about this book.
I did enjoy the representation. I find Angie Thomas's writing style very readable. I flew through this pretty quick considering how long it is.
But the characters, the story, the topic, the romance (oh god, the unnecessary, accursed, inexplicably love triangle-y romance)...they have all flown from me. Gone from my brain, presumably never to return.
I sincerely apologize for the inconvenience.
Bottom line: Not bad but oh no clearly not memorable to me sorry oh boy.
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this was one of the most stressful books i've ever read.
but, like...not in a bad way?
review to come / 3ish stars
--------------- currently-reading updates
obsessed with hopping on bandwagons 2 years late...more
I was not previously aware this was something that could happen, but apparently once everyI would like to apologize.
It turns out - bleh - I was wrong.
I was not previously aware this was something that could happen, but apparently once every 23 years or so it occurs.
I always assumed I would not like Elizabeth Acevedo, because I do not, in my own mind, like poetry. And that's kind of her whole thing.
I felt reassured in my correct jump to conclusion when I read With the Fire on High, my first foray into her world of angsty artsy teens, and didn't really enjoy it. I thought, WHY NOT END THE FORAY HERE. NO MORE FORAYING FOR ME, A BRILLIANT GENIUS WHOSE ASSUMPTIONS ARE ALWAYS ACCURATE.
But then, alas...peer pressure. I picked up a copy of Clap When You Land for a buddy read because I constantly want to sit at the proverbial cool kids' table, but then that buddy read ultimately didn't happen because everyone at the cool kids' table was too cool to earnestly read a book written in verse.
But when I eventually read it...I - gag - enjoyed it.
And then I read this. And I didn't like this as much but I did still - ugh - like it.
So enjoy my wrongness while it lasts, haters. It's the only instance you'll get for the next two decades.
Bottom line: Sorry to all nerds. You win this time.
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okay, fine. maybe i like poetry sometimes.
review to come / 3.5 stars
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really scared i'm going to lose my cool, edgy reputation by suddenly liking poetry...more
In recent times, there has been a trend involving calling people the "main character."
Usually, this has something to do with people having a lot of moIn recent times, there has been a trend involving calling people the "main character."
Usually, this has something to do with people having a lot of money, or living in a place like New York City while having a lot of money, or being very beautiful while having a lot of money, or having more than one boyfriend, and also a lot of money.
But in truth, we are all the main characters of our own lives.
And I choose to believe it's for that reason that I believe I am always right and that everyone always agrees with me.
It's through that means that I have achieved the most meaningless success imaginable - success on this hellsite.
It's all about confidence.
Anyway, it's for that same reason that I have the only complaint about this book that I do: I just don't believe how much so many people in this book hate the cute-ass couple at its center.
This is an extremely adorable book that is a perfect YA encapsulation of the fake-dating trope. While I can't say whether the representation is well-done, because it doesn't represent me, I can say it was a real joy to read. The book is cute and funny.
And literally every single supporting character has no motivations, interests, feelings, or backstory beyond wanting to screw these cuties over.
It's not very believable and it's kind of annoying.
But the good news is the rest of the book is adorable city. And if that's not enough to distract you, your standards are too high.
And that's me talking.
Bottom line: Finally a YA contemporary I actually like! It's a generic nondenominational winter holiday miracle!
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jiminy christmas that was cute.
review to come / 3.5 stars
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fake dating will forever hit different
clear ur shit book 31 quest 15: read a book with a female or non-binary MC...more
I love dark academia more than most things in this life.
This is not a very high bar, but still.
I even love dark academia enough that I am willing to fI love dark academia more than most things in this life.
This is not a very high bar, but still.
I even love dark academia enough that I am willing to forgive it many flaws, which, if you look at my average rating / unpopular opinion shelf / rant reviews, it is clear I am not often down to do.
In recent years, I've had a harder time getting into young adult fantasy. So while a dark academia / YA fantasy combo isn't my IDEAL book, it does have dark academia involved, which is enough for me to get extremely excited.
But alas, to make an accidental reference to a pivotal work by Chinua Achebe...things fall apart.
If you are nostalgic for the bygone days of young adult paranormal romance, I would recommend you this book. There's an unnecessarily British boy for our protagonist to fall in love with, with floppy hair and prep-school good looks. There's the rather, well, not like other girls protagonist in question, who is constantly sustaining injuries and never sleeping but just...going on anyway. There is a school setting with precisely 0 oversight or consequences.
This isn't to say that this book is anywhere near as unpublishable as its early 2010s ancestors. But there's too much overlap for me to have a good time.
Basically, where I wanted dark academia vibes, I got paranormal romance vibes. While much of this takes place in a library, it's over summer break, and the characters' activities are definitively nonacademic in nature.
I think so much of dark academia is...vibe. Spooky, scholarly. And this book was entirely vibeless for me.
Much like, well...a certain young adult subgenre of yore.
Bottom line: Not bad! Just so not what I wanted that it's almost enough to make me rant against my will.
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this felt like...a really good second draft.
is that mean? follow up question: does that make sense?
review to come / 2 stars
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the words dark academia have an impact on me that nothing else does
clear ur shit prompt 9: a spooky book follow my progress here
To be honest, the optics of this (the work of a white author who has been accused of racism against Asian people in prior works and by and large refusTo be honest, the optics of this (the work of a white author who has been accused of racism against Asian people in prior works and by and large refused to take accountability for that having her work turned into a manga, which then is overrepresented in awards for that category that year) are, well...the worst.
Regardless of my soft spot for Fangirl (large) or the fact that I may have thought this was cute (sometimes), I'm feeling very icky that this is the first manga I've ever read.
Please feel free to keep leaving recommendations for newbies to the genre in the comments.
Sorry! I regret this!
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i'm feeling pretty icky that this is the first manga i've ever read...
so if you have recommendations for me, please give them to me!!
2 stars
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sometimes you have to make decisions even as you regret them in real time...more
Forgive me for the main character syndrome, but if I were to have a curse, I always presumed it’d be more of a fun one.
I mean, I grew up reading the BForgive me for the main character syndrome, but if I were to have a curse, I always presumed it’d be more of a fun one.
I mean, I grew up reading the Brothers Grimm and the Andrew Lang fairy books and just about every middle grade fairytale retelling series I could get my hands on, so I think you can cut me some slack for thinking my curse would at least involve a sorceress or some beasties or a creepy goblin creature in enchanted woods, if not a handsome prince and a happily ever after.
But whatever.
Because my current curse - which, if you haven’t already guessed, is to get excited about books and then inevitably be brutally disappointed - is neither dramatic nor romantic nor any fun at all.
It’s a snooze and it’s sad.
I was very, very excited for this book, as I am for everything I buddy read with Lily, and then, also as with most things I buddy read with Lily, I was absolutely destroyed by those mild expectations.
Worst of all is that in between those two occurrences, I was actually...enjoying this.
I did not like American Panda, this author’s other book, due to the fact that I thought it was Snooze City, the capital of Snooze Country, but this one was immediately fun to me. That voice! The dialogue! The jokes and puns and cultural allusions!
Plus I’m obsessed with fake dating, like any self-respecting and semi-in-denial romance reader, and I have a weird fixation on texts in books (especially of the falling-in-love-while-texting variety - thank you, Emergency Contact), so...add it all up and I’m feeling dreamy.
However, this must be my junior-year Twentieth Century History & Politics class because...Things Fall Apart. (We read Things Fall Apart in that class. Everyone who took it is probably laughing hysterically right now. Stop, you guys, think of my ego.)
There was too much unnecessary drama. The conflict was drawn out. It got really repetitive. I should have known when they kissed by like 30% that the remaining 70 was going to be a trial and a test for me.
In fact, there was so much conflict that the author honestly must have been pressed to come up with more, because some of the later stuff did not even make a lick of sense. (view spoiler)[Like Chloe introducing Drew to her friends as his fake dating persona. CHLOE COULD HAVE JUST INTRODUCED DREW AS HIMSELF. DREW IS A NICKNAME FOR ANDREW AND HER MOM ALREADY KNEW HE HAD AN ART HOBBY!! AM I LOSING MY MIND!!! (hide spoiler)]
Add that to the fact that new plots and characters were getting introduced with less than 20% to go and I am one unhappy camper.
Which, to be fair, I always am. Not a camping girl. I do not like “outside.” Or sleeping on the ground when beds exist.
But whatever.
Bottom line: This should have been 100 pages shorter, and also if someone sees any fairytale type characters wandering around, please send them my way. I need some curses lifted ASAP.
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i spent the first third of this book thinking it'd be at least a 4.5 star read.
Call me crazy, but when I'm reading about a millennia-long game between Love personified The concept of this book: <3
The execution of this book: < / 3
Call me crazy, but when I'm reading about a millennia-long game between Love personified and Death personified, in which they repeatedly pick one side of a star-crossed duo and if they choose to love each other, Love wins, and if they choose to die, Death wins, and historic examples include Antony and Cleopatra and Helen and Paris and Romeo and Juliet (and the last two are, yes, apparently historically real)...
I don't want to read about some personality-less curly-haired musician eboy who would definitely achieve viral TikTok fame if alive today as he instantly falls in love with a girl he does not know, with no functioning understanding of racism despite it being the mid-twentieth century and said girl being Black.
I feel cheated. We were given three (THREE!) examples in the synopsis of doomed love stories so action-packed, so dramatic and devastating, that they have lasted in the culture for HUNDREDS, sometimes THOUSANDS of years.
And instead, on the page, we got insta-love and wannabe Amelia Earhart and (view spoiler)[death of old age (hide spoiler)].
The most interesting part of this occurred in the background, as the aforementioned eboy's teenage best friend / brother on a technicality discovers he is gay by repeatedly hooking up with Love, who is older than time itself.
Give me that next time.
Bottom line: As the poet Sharpay Evans once said, this is not what I want. This is not what I planned.
And I just gotta say...I do NOT understand.
----------------- currently-reading updates
please don't ask me if i unhauled this book and then rehauled it because of the cover alone
clear ur sh*t book 41 quest 19: a book you forgot you owned...more
And I regret to say that who it may be for is people who want to read 300 pages about the most annoying person they wentThis book just was not for me.
And I regret to say that who it may be for is people who want to read 300 pages about the most annoying person they went to high school with.
You know. That kind of artsy/creative kid who thinks they're automatically entitled to fame/success/money. The only type of person who thinks MOVING TO LONDON even though they DID NOT GET INTO MUSIC SCHOOL and just HOPING THEY'LL FIND SUCCESS THERE while they LIVE ON THEIR COUSIN'S COUCH is in any way a reasonable idea.
Add in that person throwing themselves wholeheartedly into an obviously toxic relationship and an eating disorder subplot and baby, it's a whole mess!
And I'm allowed to say that because I'm an annoying person with an eating disorder and a history of throwing myself into toxic relationships. This is my culture.
Bottom line: This is so b*tchy! Add it to my list of faults.
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well. mixed successes.
review to come / 1.5 stars
--------------- currently-reading updates
this is the first month in recorded history that i have read more books from my TBR than i have added.
i feel like i could eat the sun.
(thanks to the publisher for the ARC)
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reading all books with LGBTQ+ rep for pride this month!
Well, okay, I don't LOVE it. Nobody loves pain and anguish and sorrow except Disney movie villains and peoSomething about me is that I love to suffer.
Well, okay, I don't LOVE it. Nobody loves pain and anguish and sorrow except Disney movie villains and people who work at the airport. But it is my sweet spot, my comfort place, what I know.
So this book, which is both a) so sad, so filled with suffering, and b) a source of deep and profound confusion to me in terms of what I think about it (and I am someone who cannot feel confused without feeling dumb, and immediately feel angry whenever I feel dumb, in a vicious cycle that makes me seem like an eleven year old boy with a Fortnite addiction and a tendency toward tantrum-throwing)...well, it checks the suffering requirement twice over.
That's probably why I love Mary HK Choi's Emergency Contact so much. There are no two characters in a contemporary YA romance with a cover that sweet and lovely that suffer so much.
This book made me go back and forth a lot. While Emergency Contact is a hard yes from page 1 to page 347, or whatever, this was a yes/no/maybe so constantly and it never changed.
But I love sisters. And I love food descriptions. And I love books set in New York. And as established, I am capable of loving Mary HK Choi and equally inclined to appreciate suffering.
So we'll be kind in our rating this time.
Bottom line: Who knows anything! But I think I liked this.
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lily: i just finished yolk and it could be anywhere between 2.5 and 4.5 me: WHAT that makes no sense (4 hours pass) me: i just finished yolk and it could be anywhere between 2.5 and 4.5
review & rating to come! (i ended up on 3.5)
----------------- currently-reading updates
doing my favorite thing (judging books by their covers)
spontaneous buddy read because i never read anything without lily if it can be helped...more
When I read If You Come Softly, which this book is a sequel to, I felt like I'd never read anything that was as touching as real as that book was, in When I read If You Come Softly, which this book is a sequel to, I felt like I'd never read anything that was as touching as real as that book was, in that book's particular way.
I feel like I've read books about mourning with similar insights to this one. Which isn't a bad thing, necessarily. But it isn't the same.
Bottom line: A good book! But my expectations were higher. ...more
Even at my most literate, the best thing a book can be is under 300 pages. There is nothing more appealing in the world thanI barely know how to read.
Even at my most literate, the best thing a book can be is under 300 pages. There is nothing more appealing in the world than a tiny little volume of literary fiction: I get to feel smart twice over (because I'm reading a capital-B Book in a day).
So when I even pick up a book that's over the 350 mark, that's high praise already.
And I have long thought I've grown out of my fantasy stage of life, instead preferring depressing lit fic and boring old classics and however way I can be pretentious.
So the fact that I read this book, a 550-page monster of my least successful genre, in a couple of sittings, should say it all.
And the fact that people call this boring is the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life.
It has FIGHTING BOARDING SCHOOL that is also MAGIC BOARDING SCHOOL. It has nemeses. It has unlikely friendships.
Most importantly, it has an incredibly compelling and important fantasy depiction of imperialism, violence, colonization, and war, through the lens of the Rape of Nanking.
Per the advice of the brilliant and amazing Lily, I read this shortly after reading Iris Chang's The Rape of Nanking. I recommend everyone do so.
It's tough reading, but it's necessary reading.
Bottom line: Redefined my idea of what fantasy can even be.
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holy hell.
how do people call this book boring?
review to come / 4 stars
------------------- currently-reading updates
me reading normally: time to pick up yet another 200 page book!
me during a readathon when i'm supposed to read as much as possible: this is a good time for the longest books i own
clear ur shit prompt 3: a book you were recommended follow my progress here
------------------- tbr review
this is your reminder that you are allowed to like or dislike whatever book you want, but the language you use when discussing it MATTERS.
especially if you are a white person reading an own voices narrative about an entire nation's trauma.
I can't even say I'm disappointed, because if you asked me aggressively two months ago what I expected to rate this book, I would have said "2.5,Well.
I can't even say I'm disappointed, because if you asked me aggressively two months ago what I expected to rate this book, I would have said "2.5, and also that's why I've had an advance copy of this for over a year and didn't even touch it until I was forced to by an equally aggressive readathon."
I am, at this moment, and also for most of the last couple of years, not interested in young adult fantasy.
You may want to say, "Emma, that's because you're officially in your mid-twenties, and you've probably outgrown it. It's not for you."
And while you would be right, you would fill me with so much rage and confusing sadness that I would probably cry, which would make me embarrassed, which would make me even angrier.
So let's avoid that.
This is fine. This is the kind of YA fantasy that I didn't love even when I was in my YA fantasy heyday, which is written in vaguely old-timey fancy language and centers around a romance between two teenagers who don't know each other well.
It didn't work for me, but if the genre works for you, this probably will! Who can say anything anymore.
Bottom line: A meh book that managed to bring about a quarter-life crisis.
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how many times am i allowed to say i think i'm outgrowing YA fantasy before i have to accept that i've outgrown it?
A common belief held by many people, formerly myself included, is that when people are very beautiful they are often not that interesting. Because theA common belief held by many people, formerly myself included, is that when people are very beautiful they are often not that interesting. Because they are immediately somewhat interesting due to being fun to look at, they did not need to develop much beyond that.
That is not how I feel about people, but it is how I feel about this book.
This is one of the most crazy beautiful books I have ever held in my hands. Every turned page was like...gasp! Wow! Paparazzi, get over here!
But the writing...left something to be desired.
Have you ever read a book that fails so completely to get you into it that you can't really focus throughout?
This is a very short book and it took me hours to read it, for that reason alone.
You do have to hand it to the Grishaverse, though. Not many other series could write a complete theological text with examples of saints from each fictional country in said fictional universe.
That's some damn good worldbuilding.
Bottom line: They can't all be hits! And if this book being slightly worse gets Ninth House 2 finished even days earlier, then so be it.
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i've probably said this before but i don't care. i'll scream it from the rooftops.
nobody is doing it like leigh bardugo.
review to come / 3 stars
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i just received this as a gift and threw the horrible half dust jacket away immediately.
merry christmas to all
clear ur sh*t book 56 quest 24: a book in a series
----------------- tbr review
i am forced to assume that this extremely exciting book is this ugly solely to teach me not to judge books by their covers...more
Me in person when a man is telling me that poetry is gross: Would you say a song without music is gross? WoMe on Goodreads: ew, haha...poetry is gross
Me in person when a man is telling me that poetry is gross: Would you say a song without music is gross? Would you call lyricism gross? Would you call prose that uses metaphor and style and meter meaningfully gross??? Or do you just think you're too cool????
Me writing this review: Okay, poetry is good sometimes, actually.
I have read Elizabeth Acevedo's prose before...and it wasn't my favorite. I have read poetry before and been super-picky about it. I have read books that were that weird kind of prose-y poetry and haven't liked them either.
But I liked this one!
That's all I have to say.
Bottom line: I have been converted. But only for this one example.
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maybe poetry is actually good sometimes. like when i can read a 400 page book in under 2 hours, for example.
review to come / 4 stars
------------- tbr review
update: this buddy read was canceled when 3 out of 4 of us didn't want to read poetry. kind of iconic of us wouldn't you say
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please don't ask when i realized this book is written in poetry (but it was after i started)
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