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321 pages, ebook
First published February 16, 2016
“A happy story doesn’t always have a happy ending.”
Sometimes fate is ugly. Life can be twisted. And who we are can be ruined by who we once were. For two people who had survived so much, we would have to learn how to hold on before we were forced to let go.
“Sometimes you make good choices. Sometimes you make bad ones. But they’re all made for a reason that seems to make sense at that time.”
Yossarian Frazier wasn’t an overly complicated person. He was smart. He was thoughtful. He was generous and kind. He was loyal to a fault. And he was someone who had been forced to make choices that would shatter some people.
“…how did you let go of something that never really felt over? How did you let go of someone that had changed you from the inside out?”
“We’ll walk on the beach, Imi, and we’ll dance on the sand. Because one day soon, I promise you that all this ugly will become something beautiful.”
“I know, Yoss. One day soon,” I agreed.
“He had helped me when he didn’t have to. He had taken care of me. He had made sure I was warm. Fed. That I had a place to lay my head at night. Even when he couldn’t keep himself safe, he made sure that I had been. He put me first. Always. God, I had missed him.”
“…what Yoss and I had shared was more than first love.
It was deeper than adolescent lust and affection.
It had been soul changing.
Life altering.”
“You’re not the same. Neither of us are. But I know that I will love the man as much as I loved the boy.”
“A hundred memories arched between us. A thousand words spoken softly in the dark. A dozen promises never kept.”
“When I saw you in that hospital bed, the world stood still. I’ve thought about you every single day for the past fifteen years.”
“My savior. My protector.
He had helped me when he didn’t have to. He had taken care of me. He had made sure I was warm. Fed. That I had a place to lay my head at night... Even when he couldn’t keep himself safe, he made sure that I had been. He put me first. Always.”
“We’ll walk on the beach, Imi, and we’ll dance on the sand. Because one day soon, I promise you that all this ugly will become something beautiful.”
My heart instantly leapt at the sight of him. And then it fell just as fast.
This is what broken looked like.
“Why in the hell would you want anything to do with my shit life, whatever’s left of it?” His voice quavered and his hand shook in mine.
I leaned in. He met me halfway. I rested my forehead against his. “Because I love you.”
Here was a boy barely holding himself together. He seemed as though he wanted to curl into himself. I wanted to shield him from everything horrible. Everything ugly.
Just as he had been trying to do for me.
He wasn’t an overly complicated person. He was smart. He was thoughtful. He was generous and kind. He was loyal to a fault.
And he was someone who had been forced to make choices that would shatter most people. I could see the fragments being chipped away little by little as he struggled to hold on.
Yet he still sat beside me, with concern on his face, wanting to know if I was all right. When it was obvious he wasn’t.
"True love never dies."
"We loved each other. And in the ugly world we inhabited, it was a light we had clung to."
"Because one day soon, I promise you that all this ugly will become something beautiful."
"Once upon a time there was a sad, lonely boy who was actually a forgotten prince. No one knew that he was rich and powerful and had a family that was searching for him."
"One day he met a girl who swore that she would help him get back home to the castle. They fell in love. The prince wanted her to come back to the castle with him so they could live there together.”
"He smiled and I smiled. It was sort of contagious."
"He laughed and it was real and true and I felt it absolutely everywhere."
"He had been my moon. My stars. My everything when I had nothing at all."
"Karla was giving me the ubiquitous once over I was used to from other females. (...) [She] gave me a nasty look, which I returned blankly."
"What had I ever done to him to deserve this kind of reception? When had his love transformed into this?"
“You were better off without me, Imi. But it’s obvious I have barely survived without you.”
But how did you let go of something that never really felt over? How did you let go of someone that had changed you from the inside out?
They were family. They may not be blood, but out here, our bond was thicker than that.
“Because one day soon, I promise you that this ugly will become something beautiful.”
"Sometimes fate is ugly. Life can be twisted. And who we are can be ruined by who we once were. For two people who had survived so much, we would have to learn how to hold on before we were forced to let go."
"Life takes turns that we don't expect and even the best of us can end up in a place we never expected."
"A happy story doesn't always have a happy ending."
❝He had been my moon. My stars. My everything when I had had nothing at all.❞
❝Because of him, I was safe. I was surviving.❞
❝It felt good. To smile. To laugh.
Natural.
Like heartbeats and sunsets.
Happy endings and old movies.
This was what Yoss and I were made of.❞
“A happy story doesn’t always have a happy ending.”
"He had helped me when he didn’t have to. He had taken care of me. He had made sure I was warm. Fed. That I had a place to lay my head at night. Even when he couldn’t keep himself safe, he made sure that I had been. He put me first. Always."
“A hundred memories arched between us. A thousand words spoken softly in the dark. A dozen promises never kept.”
“Because one day soon, I promise you that this ugly will become something beautiful.”
“Even when I had nothing, he was everything.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be who you deserved.”
“I’m sorry I believed that you already were.”
“My life is one never-ending worst case scenario…”
“…what Yoss and I shared was more than first love. It was deeper than adolescent lust and affection. It had been soul changing. Life altering. It had been reckless attachment during bleak, dangerous times. It had been a light in a murky darkness that had almost consumed us both. I had gotten away, but I had left my heart behind.”
“You were the last.”
“You were the only.”
“Live forever, Imi, or die in the attempt. That’s what the character Yossarian was all about.”
When all i felt was love for the boy who kept me safe. The boy who tried to make me happy in the most miserable circumstances. Who held my hand and kissed me softly and made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.
Even when I had nothing, he was everything.
"I know who you are in here. I trusted the eighteen-year-old boy who made sure I was fed. Who protected me. Who loved me. And I trust the man he became. Sure, people can change, but I see who you are."
"You were better off without me, Imi."
But it's obvious I have barely survived without you.
"You're my happy life, Imi."
"Can you give that to me? A promise to go on? Not just half living, but living to the fullest."
"I can promise to live the life we are supposed to have."
"Even if I'm not here."
"Even if you're not here."
And i trusted...
In happily ever afters.
Because of the man who had given me my ONE DAY SOON.