Puns Quotes

“That ugly freak has spent so much time in my head, I should be charging him rent." -Four”
― Pittacus Lore, The Fall of Five

“Why would you want to go up there, when people are dying to get down here?”
― Tim Burton, Tim Burton's Corpse Bride: The Illustrated Story

“Jake Wexler, standing or sitting when not lying down”
― Ellen Raskin, The Westing Game

“Skinny jeans were only good if you had skinny genes.”
― Matt Dunn, A Day at the Office

“Hey,” Nick grunted. “Marriage is just a word for some people, but for others it’s a fucking sentence, okay?”
Zane was holding his side. “Oh my God, marriage puns! Oh my God...”
Nick was trying not to grin, but he finally couldn’t help himself. “Once we established I was the victim, then we had to find a girl with a ring on her finger to figure out which one I’d fucking married.”
Ty leaned against Zane’s arm, laughing so hard he could no longer sit up straight. “The look on his face!”
“He made a marriage pun,” Zane gasped.”
― Abigail Roux, Ball & Chain

“How are you going to make it move? It doesn't have a – "

"Be very quiet," advised the duke, "for it goes without saying."

And, sure enough, as soon as they were all quite still, it began to move quickly through the streets, and in a very short time they arrived at the royal palace.”
― Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

“Pandemonium did not reign; it poured.”
― John Hendrick Bangs

“Would I laugh?"
"Matter of fact, you would," says Zeb. "Heart like shale. What you need is a good fracking.”
― Margaret Atwood, MaddAddam

“it gets butter”
― Hannah Hart

“I’m pretty sure that wasn’t there before,” Nick grumbled.
Kelly laughed harder. “I’m pretty sure it was.”
“Shut up.”
“You’re high.”
“Oh, look at the pothead calling the kettle names,” Nick said in a singsong voice as he settled onto the wide chaise beside Kelly.”
― Abigail Roux, Shock & Awe

“The glass is completely full...of shit.”
― Brian Spellman, Cartoonist's Book Camp

“Okay, you won our shitty little argument. Pass the world.”
― Brian Spellman, Cartoonist's Book Camp

“The late bird gets the fish that got the worm.”
― Brian Spellman

“Impersonating a quiet, gentle librarian like Barbara Gordon--You deserve to be taken out of circulation!”
― Karl Kesel

“This Byrd wants a Wren.”
― Leslea Tash, Bird After Bird

“the new Filipino President's name had become a saucy joke: 'Corazon, aqui, no?' That is: 'Darling, let's do it here, eh?' Or, if the words were stressed differently: 'Corazon, aqui? — No!'”
― Salman Rushdie, The Jaguar Smile: A Nicaraguan Journey

“I assume therefore I think I think yet still don't know a goddamn thing.”
― Brian Spellman, Cartoonist's Book Camp

“Deuce groaned. “Ma, what sort of pie was that?” He was rubbing his stomach.
“Bitter cherry. Lucy Hopewel had one at the potluck a week back, and I thought I might try it. It wasn’t good?”
“It was good, Ma,” Ty said, voice flat.
“Where do you get bitter cherries?” Deuce asked.
“Disgruntled trees,” Ty said. He looked over his shoulder with a smirk.”
― Abigail Roux, Stars & Stripes

“How much do you know of La Mayonnaise?” she inquired.

He shrugged. “Maybe up to the part that goes ‘Aux armes, citoyens’—”
― Thomas Pynchon

“What do they call a collective of ghosts?”
“I don’t know. What?”
“A fraid.”
― Abigail Roux, The Gravedigger's Brawl

“Never speak ill of the dead, insult his kin instead.”
― Brian Spellman

“One of Lucy's admirers took to her, apparently."

"Took to her?" echoes William, his own feelings for Sugar causing him to construe the phrase benignly.

"Yes," said Bodley "With her own riding crop."

"Beat her very severely."

"Particularly about the face and mouth."

"I understand all the fight's gone out of her now."

"Well, as you can imagine," he says. "Madam Georgina doesn't have high hopes. Even if she's willing to wait, there will be scars."

Ashwell, eyes downcast, is picking at the lint on his trousers. "Poor girl," he laments.

"Yes," smirks Bodley. "How are the fighty maulen.”
― Michel Faber, The Crimson Petal and the White

“I found my destination a few miles outside Swelling: a lone, squat, brown bar called The Inn of the Line...The place looked like a dive. Maybe even a plunge. Hell, it was a drowning accident.”
― Elliott James, Dog-Gone

“I had a dream about you last night... we tried to joke but neither could make any sense. We realized that puns are present in every language, though not shared by any of them.”
― Marshall Ramsay, Dreaming is for lovers

“Never a dull moment,” he muttered. They’d been flash and
bang from the first moment they’d met.
“Yeah, well, if you weren’t such a dick…,” Ty murmured with a
small smile.
Zane snickered. “Works out well since you’re an asshole.”
“We’re gonna have to talk about these puns.” Ty groaned.”
― Abigail Roux & Madeleine Urban

“Every swamp has a silted lining.”
― Brian Spellman, Cartoonist's Book Camp

“The first casualty of war is casual wear.”
― Brian Spellman, Cartoonist's Book Camp

“I overreacted to praise, signing an autograph. I'd write a check to buy it back.”
― Brian Spellman

“An apple a day feeds the tapeworm to stay.”
― Brian Spellman, Cartoonist's Book Camp

“Infinite regression is limitless, without it we are nothing.”
― Solange nicole