Charisse's Reviews > The Iron Queen

** spoiler alert ** The pain was still there, but it was a dull, distant thing now, insignificant.
Somewhere far away, someone called my name. At least, I thought it was my name. I blinked, trying to focus, but my thoughts were fuzzy and slipped away like smoke, and I was too tired to call them back.
Closing my eyes, I let myself drift, wanting nothing but the chance to rest. Surely I had earned it by now. Defeating a false king and saving all of Faery- there were certainly worse ways to die. But, even as I hovered on the edge of the void, I could still feel the labored heartbeat of the land, the poisoned trail Ferrum had carved on his journey, and the corruption seeping into the Nevernever. Just because Ferrum was gone didn't mean the Iron Realm would disappear. The last of the Iron King's power still flickered inside me, weakly, a candle held up to the wind.
It was still my responsibility, this power. What would happen to it when I died? Who would I give it to? Who could I give it to, this new glamour of Summer and Iron, without killing them?
"Meghan!" The voice called me again, and I recognized it now. It was his voice, the voice of my knight, frantic and tormented, pulling me back from the void. "Meghan, no!" it pleaded, echoing in the blackness. "Don't do this. Come on, wake up. Please." The last word was a desperate, whispered sob and I opened my eyes.
Ash peered down at me, silver eyes suspiciously bright, his face pale and wan. Cradled in his arms, I blinked as the sounds of the world came back, the crackle of the energy above, the shuffle of the metal boots from the Iron Knights still surrounding us. I spared a quick glance over and saw that all the knights had laid down their arms and were now watching us with identical grave expressions, waiting.
I looked back at Ash, seeing Puck standing over his shoulder as well, white and pale. "Ash," I whispered, my voice sounding weak and breathy in my ears. "I'm so sorry. I didn't think... now you'll fade away because of me, because I asked you to take that vow."
He pressed his face to my hair, closing his eyes. "If you are gone," he whispered back, his voice shaking, "then I will welcome nonexistence. There will be nothing left for me to live for." He pulled back his silver eyes boring into mine.
"There's still time," he murmured, standing easily with me in his arms. "We have to get you to a healer."
Puck was suddenly there, intense and angry, his hair a stark contrast to his pale face. "Dammit, Meghan," he snapped. "What the hell were you thinking? We have to get you out of here, now!" He eyed the ring of knights and his eyes narrowed. "You think the bucket brigade will let us go, or should I carved a path through them?"
"No," I whispered, clutching Ash's shirt. They both looked at me in surprise. "I can't go to a healer. Take me..." I winced and fought a gasp as a bolt of pain clawed my stomach, and Ash's grip tightened. "Take me to the tree," I forced out. "The ruins. I have to go back...to where it all began."
He stared at me, expressionless, but a tremor went through him. "No," he whispered, but it was more of a plea.
"Princess, there's no time!" Puck stalked forward, desperate. "Don't be stupid! If we don't get you to a healer now, you'll die!"
I ignored Puck, holding Ash's gaze, steeling myself for what I had to do.
"Ash," I whispered, tears flooding my eyes. "Please. I don't have...much time left. This is my last request. I have to...get to that tree. Please."
He closed his eyes, and a single tear crawled down his cheek. I knew I was asking him to do the impossible, and it was tearing me apart that Ash was suffering. But at least I would make it right in the end. I'd promise him that much.
"Don't listen to her, prince." Puck sounded almost frantic then, grabbing Ash by the shoulder. "She's delirious. Get to a healer, dammit. Don't tell me you're going to listen to this insanity."
"Puck," I whispered, but suddenly noticed the empty silver chain, dangling from Ash's chest. The amulet was gone. Where the crystal had once been, only a blackened shard remained. It must've finally shattered during the fight with Rowan. My stomach twisted. "Oh, God, Ash," I breathed. "The amulet. You won't be protected in the Iron Kingdom anymore. Have someone else take me back."
He raised his head, his eyes bleak but determined, a look I'd seen before, when he had nothing left to lose.
"I'll take you."
"No, you won't!" Puck stepped in front of us, and suddenly his dagger was pressed against Ash's throat. Ash didn't move, and Puck leaned in, his face savage. "You'll take her to a healer, prince, or so help me I will cut out that piece of ice you call a heart and take her myself."
"Puck," I whispered again," please." He didn't look at me, but tears brimmed at the corners of his eyes, and the hand holding the dagger trembled. "I have t-to do this," I went on, as Ash and Puck continued their staredown, neither giving an inch. "This...is the only way to save everything. Please."
He drew in a shaky breath. "How can you ask me to let you die?" he choked, still keeping the blade at the prince's throat. A thread of blood formed under the knife, and ran down to Ash's collar. "I'd do anything for you, Meghan. Just...not that. Not that."
Gently, I reached up and closed my fingers around the knife hilt, easing it down and away from Ash's neck. Puck resisted for a moment, then stepped back with a sob. The dagger fell from his grip and clanged to the floor.
"Are you sure this is what you want, princess?" His voice was strangled, his eyes begging me to change my mind.
"No," I whispered, as my own tears spilled over, and the arms around me tightened. Of course it wasn't. I wanted to live. I wanted to see my family and finish school and travel to distant places I'd only read about. I wanted to laugh with Puck and love with Ash, and do all those things that normal people took for granted.
But I couldn't. I was given this power, this responsibility. And I had to finish what I'd started once and for all. "No, Puck, it isn't. But, this is how it has to be."
Puck took my hand, gripping it as if he could keep me here just by holding on.
(Skip)
"Take care of her, ice boy," he said, smiling as he backed up several paces. "I guess I won't be seeing you, either, will I? It was... fun, while it lasted." s
"I'm sorry we didn't get to kill each other," Ash said quietly.
Puck chuckled and bent to retrieve his fallen dagger. "My one and only regret. Too bad, that would have been an epic fight." Straightening, he gave us that old, stupid grin, raising a hand in farewell. "See you around, lovebirds."
Glamour rippled through the air, and Puck disintegrated into a flock of screaming ravens, flapping wildly as they scattered to all corners of the room. The knights ducked as the birds swooped over their heads, cawing in their harsh, mocking voices. Then the birds vanished into the darkness, the sound of wings disappeared, and Puck was gone.
THE KNIGHT LET US THROUGH without a fight, bowing their heads as we passed.
Some of them even raised their swords, as if in salute, but I didn't really notice much. Cradled gently in Ash's arms, my body and mind numb to everything, I concentrated on not falling asleep, knowing if I did I might never open my eyes.
Soon I could rest, give in to the exhaustion claiming my body, lie back and forget it all, but I had one last thing to do. And then I could finally let it all go.
Soft flakes touched my cheek, and I looked up.
We were outside the fortress now, standing at the top of a flight of stairs, gazing down at the field. The sounds of battle had ceased, and silence hung over the field as every eye, be it Summer, Winter, or Iron, turned in my direction.
Everyone was frozen staring at me in shock, unsure of what to do.
Ash never stopped, walking deliberately forward, his face unreadable, and the ranks of Summer, Winter and Iron fey parted for him without a word.
Faces passed by me, silent in the falling ash. Diode, his whirling eyes wide with alarm. Spikerail and his herd, lowering their heads as we walked by. Gremlins trailed us, hushed and grim, weaving their way through the crowd.
Mab and Oberon came into view, their eyes at once blank and sympathetic. Ash didn't stop, even for Mab. He marched by the faery rulers without even a glance, continuing through the gray drifts, until we reached the edge of the field and the huge frost dragon waiting for us. The dragon shifted, settling back to stare at the Winter prince with ice-blue eyes.
"Take us into the Iron Realm." Ash's voice was soft, but several degrees below freezing, leaving no room for argument. "Now."
(Skip)
I DIDN'T REMEMBER FLYING. I didn't remember landing. Just a soft thump as Ash slid off the dragon's back onto solid ground again. Raising my head from his chest, I gazed around. The landscape was blurred and fuzzy, like a fading, out-of-focus camera, until I realized it was me and not the surroundings. Everything was gray and dark, but I could still make out the tree, the great iron oak, rising from the tower ruins to brush the sky.
Behind us, the dragon made a low rumble that sounded like a question.
"Yes, go," Ash murmured without turning around, and there was a blast of wind that signaled the dragon had fled, back to the Nevernever where it wouldn't be poisoned. I noted, in my numb state of mind, that Ash didn't tell it to wait for him. Because he wasn't planning to leave, either.
Ash's step was firm as he carried me through the tower, drifting through the empty ruins, slipping through the shadows, until we reached the base of the tree. Only when we stepped into the central chamber and the branches loomed above us did he start to tremble. But his voice was steady, and his grip didn't loosen as he approached the trunk and stopped, lowering his head to mine.
"We're here," he murmured. I closed my eyes and reached out with my remaining glamour, feeling the pulsing heart of the tree and the roots, extending deep into the earth.
"Lay me down... at the base," I whispered.
He hesitated, but then stepped beneath the tree and knelt, depositing me gently on the ground between two giant roots. And he stayed there, kneeling beside me, holding my hand in his. Something splashed the back of my hand, cold as spring water, crystallizing to my skin. A faery's tears.
I gazed up at him and tried for a smile, tried to be brave, to show him that none of this was his fault. That this was how it had to be. His eyes glimmered in the darkness, bright and anguished. I squeezed his hand.
"It was... quite a ride, wasn't it?" I whispered, as my own tears ran down my cheek, staining the hard ground. "I'm sorry, Ash. I wish...we had more time. I wish...I could've gone with you...but things didn't quite work out, did they?"
Ash brought my hand to his lips, his eyes never leaving mind. "I love you, Meghan Chase," he murmured against my skin. "For the rest of my life, however long we have left. I'll consider it an honor to die beside you."
I took a deep breath, chasing back the darkness on the edge of my vision. Now came the hardest part, the part I'd been dreading. I didn't want to die, and even more, I didn't want to die alone. The thought made my stomach clench, and my breath come in short, panicked gasps. But Ash would not fade away. I would not let him die because of his vow. This was the last unselfish thing I could do for him. He had been with me every step of the way; now it was my turn to set him free.
"Ash." I reached up and touched his cheek, tracing the line of his jaw. "I love you. Never forget that. And I...I wanted to live the rest of my life with you. But..." And I paused, trying to catch my breath. It was getting hard even to speak, and Ash's outline was fading at the edges. I blinked hard to keep him in focus. "But I...I can't let you die because of me," I continued, seeing understanding dawn in his eyes, followed by alarm. "I won't allow it."
"Meghan, no."
"It's alright if you hate me," I continued, speaking faster so he couldn't change my mind. "in fact, that might be for the best. Hate me, so you can find someone... someone else to love. But I want you to live, Ash. You have so much to live for."
"Please." Ash gripped my hand," Don't do this."
"I release you," I whispered. "From your vow of knighthood, and the promises you made. Your service to me is done, Ash. You're free."
Ash bowed his head, shoulders heaving. I swallowed the bitter lump in my throat, my stomach churning painfully. It was done. I hated myself for it, but it was the right thing to do. I'd asked so much of him already. Even if he was prepared to die, I wasn't going to let that happen.
"Now," I said, releasing his hand. "Get out of here, Ash. Before it's too late."
"No."
"Ash, you can't stay. The amulet is gone. If you're here much longer, you'll die."
Ash said nothing. But I knew that stubborn set of his shoulders, the flare of resolve around him, and I knew he would stay with me regardless. And so, I did the only thing I could think of. He would curse the day he met the human girl in the wyldwood, vow to never, ever, fall in love again. But he would live.
"Ashallyn'darkmyr Tallyn," I said, and he closed his eyes," by the power of your True Name, leave the Iron Realm right now." I turned my head so I wouldn't see him, forcing out the last words. "And don't come back."
I'm so sorry, Ash. But please, live for me. If anyone deserves to come out of this alive, it's you.
A soft noise, almost a sob. Ash rose, hesitated, as if fighting the compulsion to obey. "I will always be your knight, Meghan Chase," he whispered in a strained voice, as if every moment he remained was painful to him. "And I swear, if there is a way for us to be together, I will find it. No matter how long it takes. If I have to chase your soul to the ends of eternity, I won't stop until I find you, I promise."
And then he was gone.
Alone at the base of the giant oak, I lay back, fighting the urge to cry, to scream out my fear and desolation. There was no time for that anymore. The world was getting dark, and I had one last thing I had to do.
Closing my eyes, I reached out with my glamour, feeling both Summer and Iron rise up in response. Cautiously, I probed the roots of the giant oak, following them deep into the cracked, dry earth, sensing the devastation of the land around it. The Iron glamour that was killing one species but sustaining another.
I thought of my family. Of Mom and Luke and Ethan, still waiting for me at home. I thought of my human dad, Paul, and my real father, the Summer King. Of everyone I had met along the way: Glitch, the rebels, Razor. Ironhorse. They were of the Iron Kingdom, but they were still fey. They deserved a chance to live, just like everyone else.
I thought of Grimalkin, and Puck. My wise teacher and my brave, loyal best friend. They would live, I would make certain of that. They would laugh and inspire ballads and collect favors until the end of time. This was for them. And for my knight, who had given everything for me. Who would've been there to the very end, had I let him.
Ash, Puck, everyone. I love you all. Remember me. And in one final, determined push, I gathered the power of the Iron King into a massive, swirling ball and sent it deep into the roots of the giant oak.
A shudder went through the tree, continuing into the land around it, like ripples on a glassy pond. It radiated outward, spreading to the dead trees and vegetation, and the once withered plants stirred as the new glamour touched their roots. I sensed the land waking up, drinking in the new magic, healing the poison that the Iron glamour had seeped into the land. Trees straightened, unfurling new leaves from steel branches. The hard obsidian plain shuddered as green sprouts pushed their way to the surface. The mottled yellow clouds began to break apart, showing blue sky and sun peeking through the cracks.
A cool breeze blew in from somewhere, cooling my face and causing a rain of leaves to flutter around me. The air smelled of earth and new grass. Lulled into a deep peace, listening to the sounds of growing things all around me, I closed my eyes and finally surrendered to the darkness.
(Skip some parts)
SOMETHING TOUCHED MY FACE, and I opened my eyes.
A small, anxious face stared into mine, eyes glowing green, huge ears fanning away from its head. Razor squawked as I blinked at him, then grinned in delight. "Master!"
I groaned and waved him off. My body felt weak, pounded on and beaten into submission, but thankfully, there wasn't any lingering pain. Above me, the metal branches of the great oak waved gently in the wind, sunlight slanting through the leaves and dappling the ground. My fingers brushed cool grass as I carefully eased myself into a sitting position, gazing around in astonishment.
I was surrounded by Iron fey. Gremlins and Iron knights, hacker elves and clockwork hounds, wiremen, dwarves, spider-hags and more. Glitch stood silently with his arm in a sling, next to Spikerail and two of his iron horses, watching me with solemn eyes.
I could feel them, all of them. I could feel every heartbeat, sense the Iron glamour coursing through them, pulsing in time with the land, flowing through me. I knew the edges of my realm, brushing against the Nevernever, not spreading, not corrupting, content to sit within its new boundaries. I felt every tree and bush and blade of grass, spread before me like a seamless patchwork quilt. And, if I closed my eyes and really concentrated, I could hear my own heartbeat, and the pulse of the land, echoing it.
What will you do now, Meghan Chase?
I understood. This was my fate, my destiny. I knew what had to be done.
Pulling myself upright, I took a step forward, away from the trunk, standing on my own. As one, every Iron fey, rank upon rank of them, bowed their heads and sank to their knees. Even Glitch, bending down awkwardly, holding on to a kneeling Spikerail for support. Even Razor and the gremlins, burying their faces in the grass.
The Iron knights clanked in unison as they drew their swords and knelt, the sword points jammed into the earth.
In the silence, I gazed out over the mass of kneeling fey and raised my voice. I don't know why I said it, but deep down, I knew it was right. My words echoed over the crowd, sealing my fate. It would be a hard road, and I had a lot of work ahead of me, but in the end, this was the only possible outcome.
"My name is Meghan Chase, and I am the Iron Queen."
EPILOGUE
(Skip)
Something was bounding toward me over the grass, a shadow in the predawn light. Something large and furry and vaguely familiar. A wolf? No, a dog! A big, shaggy...no, that couldn't be right...
"Beau?" I gasped, as the huge German shepherd slammed into me with the force of a freight train, nearly knocking me down. It was Beau. I laughed as his big paws muddied my shirt and his enormous tongue slapped the side of my face.
(Skip)
I stopped, my fingers brushing something thin and metallic looped around his neck, under his shaggy fur. Wondering if it was a collar with tags, I calmed Beau long enough to pull it free, drawing it over his ears and holding it up for a closer look.
It was a familiar silver chain, on which hung the remains of a shattered amulet, glinting in the predawn light.
My heart skipped a beat. With Beau still dancing at my feet, I looked around, scanning the front yard and the edge of the trees. He couldn't be here. I'd sent him away, released him from his vows. He should hate me.
And yet... here it was.
For a few heart-pounding moments, I waited.
(Skip many parts)
Ash
"She's gone." Goodfellow shot him a sideways glance. "What now?"
He sighed. "I have something to do," he murmured. "A promise to keep."
"Where are we going? Really. Do enlighten me."
"We're going to find a certain cat." <3