Once I was a sane, levelheaded professional woman. Then I said �yes.� Now I am the lunatic bride I always made fun of! What is it about getting married that turns normal people into total freaks? A savvy, riotously funny novel, Diary of a Mad Bride My wedding was starting in less than twenty minutes, and I was stuck in a 7-Eleven parking lot with popcorn kernels wedged in my gums and vanilla ice cream melting on my dress. It was a disaster too large to comprehend. After an agonizing year spent planning my wedding, could it really end like this? The voices chronicling a year of wedding hysteria swirled in my head.... � My grandmother upon viewing my engagement ring: �What do you mean he gave you an emerald! Diamonds are eternal, emeralds say, maybe five years.� � My future father-in-law on the night of my engagement party: �To a happy marriage and, if necessary, a painless divorce!� � My best friend, Anita: �Oh, screw congratulations. Of course I�m happy for you. Stephen�s a major piece of ass and he�s got a sense of humor. Just as long as you�re certain this is what you want.� Would I survive this day after all....?… (more)