Susan Forward
Born
The United States
Website
Genre
Influences
Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
96 editions
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published
1990
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Mothers Who Can't Love: A Healing Guide for Daughters
by
34 editions
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published
2014
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Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You
by
78 editions
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published
1997
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Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them: When Loving Hurts and You Don't Know Why
by
63 editions
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published
1986
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Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage
by
30 editions
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published
2001
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Obsessive Love: When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go
by
30 editions
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published
1991
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When Your Lover Is a Liar: Healing the Wounds of Deception and Betrayal
by
23 editions
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published
1999
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Betrayal of Innocence: Incest and Its Devastation
by
16 editions
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published
1978
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Money Demons: Keep Them from Sabotaging Your Life
by
6 editions
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published
1994
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Emotional Blackmail
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“Love is a verb, not a noun. It is active. Love is not just feelings of passion and romance. It is behavior. If a man lies to you, he is behaving badly and unlovingly toward you. He is disrespecting you and your relationship. The words “I love you” are not enough to make up for that. Don’t kid yourself that they are.”
― When Your Lover Is a Liar: Healing the Wounds of Deception and Betrayal
― When Your Lover Is a Liar: Healing the Wounds of Deception and Betrayal
“MAKING THE LIE MAKE SENSE:
When denial (his or ours) can no longer hold and we finally have to admit to ourselves that we’ve been lied to, we search frantically for ways to keep it from disrupting our lives. So we rationalize. We find “good reasons” to justify his lying, just as he almost always accompanies his confessions with “good reasons” for his lies. He tells us he only lied because…. We tell ourselves he only lied because…. We make excuses for him: The lying wasn’t significant/Everybody lies/He’s only human/I have no right to judge him.
Allowing the lies to register in our consciousness means having to make room for any number of frightening possibilities:
• He’s not the man I thought he was.
• The relationship has spun out of control and I don’t know
what to do
• The relationship may be over.
Most women will do almost anything to avoid having to face these truths. Even if we yell and scream at him when we discover that he’s lied to us, once the dust settles, most of us will opt for the comforting territory of rationalization. In fact, many of us are willing to rewire our senses, short-circuit our instincts and intelligence, and accept the seductive comfort of self-delusion.”
― When Your Lover Is a Liar: Healing the Wounds of Deception and Betrayal
When denial (his or ours) can no longer hold and we finally have to admit to ourselves that we’ve been lied to, we search frantically for ways to keep it from disrupting our lives. So we rationalize. We find “good reasons” to justify his lying, just as he almost always accompanies his confessions with “good reasons” for his lies. He tells us he only lied because…. We tell ourselves he only lied because…. We make excuses for him: The lying wasn’t significant/Everybody lies/He’s only human/I have no right to judge him.
Allowing the lies to register in our consciousness means having to make room for any number of frightening possibilities:
• He’s not the man I thought he was.
• The relationship has spun out of control and I don’t know
what to do
• The relationship may be over.
Most women will do almost anything to avoid having to face these truths. Even if we yell and scream at him when we discover that he’s lied to us, once the dust settles, most of us will opt for the comforting territory of rationalization. In fact, many of us are willing to rewire our senses, short-circuit our instincts and intelligence, and accept the seductive comfort of self-delusion.”
― When Your Lover Is a Liar: Healing the Wounds of Deception and Betrayal
“When your lover is a liar, you and he have a lot in common, you're both lying to you!”
― When Your Lover Is a Liar: Healing the Wounds of Deception and Betrayal
― When Your Lover Is a Liar: Healing the Wounds of Deception and Betrayal
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