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Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid
Brand new book in plastic!
176 pages, Hardcover
First published April 24, 2007
About the author
Lemony Snicket
166 books25.5k followersLemony Snicket had an unusual education and a perplexing youth and now endures a despondent adulthood. His previous published works include the thirteen volumes in A Series of Unfortunate Events, The Composer is Dead, and 13 Words. His new series is All The Wrong Questions.
For A Series of Unfortunate Events:
www.lemonysnicket.com
For All The Wrong Questions:
www.lemonysnicketlibrary.com
For A Series of Unfortunate Events:
www.lemonysnicket.com
For All The Wrong Questions:
www.lemonysnicketlibrary.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 701 reviews
February 14, 2015
Oh my goodness, I loved this so much. It's full of brilliant little snippets of snicket's hilarious and beautiful writing. If you're a fan of Lemony Snicket, this is a must read.
October 7, 2013
When I first saw this book, I thought to myself, "What a waste. It's one of those silly quote books, with at most a paragraph a page. Harumph." Yet once I was half-way through, I found myself thinking, "Every kid needs to know these things, preferably with as little pain as possible. This book is that painless means by which one may inform them, gently, of the inherent unfairness and occasional joys of life." By the time I was finished, I wished I could hop into a time machine, travel back in time, and hand my younger, now-terrified, -confused, and -somewhat disappointed self this book with instructions to read it and take its wisdom to heart, in spite of it being one of those quote-a-page books. Of course, once she did, this current self would disappear, to be replaced by a less-emotionally-scarred version, one who would not necessarily be motivated to find the time machine and hand her younger self this book, so that her younger self never reads it, so that unscarred-me never exists, yet I come into being, read this book, jump back in time to give it to my younger self, and continue this looping series of paradoxes which eventually lead to the destruction of the very fabric of space and time itself.
In spite of the dangers to the universe this book has potential to create, I still give it five stars, with a caveat not to use a time machine to enlighten your younger self less painfully.
This book shall enlighten young and the not-quite-so-young, lead the old to nod their heads sagely in amused familiarity, and the no-longer-young-anymore shall be somewhere in between on the spectrum of enlightened and sage nodding, as they are somewhere in between on the spectrum of young and old. It is this last group who, I fear, shall be the ones who destroy the universe with their time machine shenanigans after reading this book. Keep an eye on them.
In spite of the dangers to the universe this book has potential to create, I still give it five stars, with a caveat not to use a time machine to enlighten your younger self less painfully.
This book shall enlighten young and the not-quite-so-young, lead the old to nod their heads sagely in amused familiarity, and the no-longer-young-anymore shall be somewhere in between on the spectrum of enlightened and sage nodding, as they are somewhere in between on the spectrum of young and old. It is this last group who, I fear, shall be the ones who destroy the universe with their time machine shenanigans after reading this book. Keep an eye on them.
November 10, 2007
This book is full of very short snippets of Snicket wonderfulness. It took me about 1 hour to read, and that was with me stopping to giggle and interrupt my friend (who was also reading) every 3 minutes to read aloud something.
Very funny, very insightful. I think anyone with a twisted sense of what is wonderful and terrible will enjoy this.
Very funny, very insightful. I think anyone with a twisted sense of what is wonderful and terrible will enjoy this.
April 2, 2012
Life is a turbulent journey,
fraught with confusion,
heartbreak,
and inconvenience.
This book will not help.
…or at least, that's what the blurb reads. I think this exactly the sort of book it's nice to have around when you're down and struggling with life's inherent unfairness.
Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid is a compilation of quotes from A Series of Unfortunate Events, Lemony Snicket, the Unauthorized Autobiography, and The Beatrice Letters and I am ecstatic to have finally gotten my hands on it.
Years ago, I read somewhere between 7-10 books of A Series of Unfortunate Events and I loved Snicket's writing style and his twisted, irreverent sense of humor, I just couldn't enjoy the series the way I wanted to. I think it was my extreme lack of patience. I don't mind the odd children's book, but I really would have liked to just bottle the moments of brilliance that were keeping me reading and cut out the rest- this is that bottle. What we're left with is a brilliant, much more universally appealing book, I think.
Lemony Snicket's Horseradish is filled with 'bitter truths' pertaining to:
Home
'It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches.'
Family
'Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother's wombs, and then there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women.'
School
'A long time ago, there was no such thing as school, and children spent their days learning a trade, a phrase which here means "standing around doing tedious tasks under the instruction of a bossy adult." In time, however, people realized that the children could be allowed to sit, and the first school was invented.'
Work
'Like People, animals will become frightened and likely do whatever you say if you whip them enough.'
Entertainment
'One of the world's most popular entertainments is a deck of cards, which contains thirteen each of four suits, highlighted by kings, queens and jacks, who are possibly the queen's younger, more attractive boyfriends.'
Literature
''If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.'
Travel
'Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.'
Emotional Health
'Shyness is a curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people at any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down.'
Affairs of the Heart
'n love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied "I love you back" and not "I love your back" before you continue the conversation.'
A Life of Mystery
'Announcing your death should be like announcing that you are a lunar moth: It must be done quietly or it will not be believed.'
The Mystery of Life
'Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.'
An Overall Feeling of Doom that One Cannot Ever Escape No Matter What One Does
'There are some who go through life with a shadow hanging over them, particularly if they live in a building which has long wide awnings.'
...and finally (lucky thirteen) Miscellaneous
'Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of "systematically assisting Sisyphus's stealthy, cyst-susceptible sister," which is easier done than said.'
My only criticism is that it takes no time at all to read through- I wants more!!
fraught with confusion,
heartbreak,
and inconvenience.
This book will not help.
…or at least, that's what the blurb reads. I think this exactly the sort of book it's nice to have around when you're down and struggling with life's inherent unfairness.
Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid is a compilation of quotes from A Series of Unfortunate Events, Lemony Snicket, the Unauthorized Autobiography, and The Beatrice Letters and I am ecstatic to have finally gotten my hands on it.
Years ago, I read somewhere between 7-10 books of A Series of Unfortunate Events and I loved Snicket's writing style and his twisted, irreverent sense of humor, I just couldn't enjoy the series the way I wanted to. I think it was my extreme lack of patience. I don't mind the odd children's book, but I really would have liked to just bottle the moments of brilliance that were keeping me reading and cut out the rest- this is that bottle. What we're left with is a brilliant, much more universally appealing book, I think.
Lemony Snicket's Horseradish is filled with 'bitter truths' pertaining to:
Home
'It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches.'
Family
'Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother's wombs, and then there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women.'
School
'A long time ago, there was no such thing as school, and children spent their days learning a trade, a phrase which here means "standing around doing tedious tasks under the instruction of a bossy adult." In time, however, people realized that the children could be allowed to sit, and the first school was invented.'
Work
'Like People, animals will become frightened and likely do whatever you say if you whip them enough.'
Entertainment
'One of the world's most popular entertainments is a deck of cards, which contains thirteen each of four suits, highlighted by kings, queens and jacks, who are possibly the queen's younger, more attractive boyfriends.'
Literature
''If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.'
Travel
'Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.'
Emotional Health
'Shyness is a curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people at any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down.'
Affairs of the Heart
'n love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied "I love you back" and not "I love your back" before you continue the conversation.'
A Life of Mystery
'Announcing your death should be like announcing that you are a lunar moth: It must be done quietly or it will not be believed.'
The Mystery of Life
'Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.'
An Overall Feeling of Doom that One Cannot Ever Escape No Matter What One Does
'There are some who go through life with a shadow hanging over them, particularly if they live in a building which has long wide awnings.'
...and finally (lucky thirteen) Miscellaneous
'Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of "systematically assisting Sisyphus's stealthy, cyst-susceptible sister," which is easier done than said.'
My only criticism is that it takes no time at all to read through- I wants more!!
December 22, 2019
"There are some who say that sitting at home reading is the equivalent of travel, because the experience described in the books are more or less the same as the experiences one might have on a voyage, and there are those who say that there is no substitute for venturing out into the world. My own opinion is that it is best to travel extensively but to read the entire time, hardly glancing up to look out the window of the airplane, train, or hired camel."
December 9, 2022
Wow, this was a quick read! Even if you give each observation it’s due time to sink in, it’s still short. I can’t help, but think that all of these observations could have been worked into an actual novel, rather than thrown together into a tiny book of bitter truths. Still, it was an enjoyable read. Snicket‘s observations are always poignant, extremely entertaining, and rarely untrue.
July 25, 2008
This book is hilarious! It has many random bits from the Series of Unfortunate events. I think this book would make a great book for the coffee table, because you could open it up and giggle at it without having to read a whole story. I just recently read the series of unfortunate events and it was fun to find quotes that I had read aloud to my roommate.
September 16, 2020
Completely pointless, and yet mildly amusing.
This fact was found within...
This fact was found within...
April 10, 2017
4.5 STARS!
While some of this was more common sense, a lot of these were kind of wake up calls and others were just funny. They carry that same sense of doom that all of Snicket's words seem to convey, which I loved.
There was just something about this, it was a quick read but I still felt enlightened despite having already known and experienced most of these things (which may be why I loved it even more). He also described some things so perfectly, I just couldn't help but love this little collection of wisdom.
While some of this was more common sense, a lot of these were kind of wake up calls and others were just funny. They carry that same sense of doom that all of Snicket's words seem to convey, which I loved.
There was just something about this, it was a quick read but I still felt enlightened despite having already known and experienced most of these things (which may be why I loved it even more). He also described some things so perfectly, I just couldn't help but love this little collection of wisdom.
August 15, 2011
O Lemony Snicket how I love you! He's like the Tim Burton of books! This book is a book of quotes-bitter truths you can't avoid! :) My two favorite quotes from this book-
"Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night's sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too."
"If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't to bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed" but most of us would say something more along the lines of "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!"
See he's brilliant!
"Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night's sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too."
"If an optimist had his left arm chewed off by an alligator, he might say in a pleasant and hopeful voice, "Well this isn't to bad, I don't have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I'm left-handed or right-handed" but most of us would say something more along the lines of "Aaaaaa! My arm! My arm!"
See he's brilliant!
December 12, 2011
Back in elementary school I had a huge love for the Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket, I would read these books over and over again and once I had read the whole series over and over again I finally pushed the books aside and moved onto bigger and better things. However, the other day when I was going through a pile of $1.00 books in an old book store I came across this book by Lemony Snicket, quickly a feeling of nostalgia came over me and I was forced to run to the clerk and purchase the book. As soon as I came home, I flipped open the book and read it from cover to cover. Once I was finished I reached a consensus, it was great.
Lemony Snicket had created his shortest and greatest little novel yet. Basically, the book was just a slightly under 200 page book with, "Bitter truths you cant avoid." Each page contained a thing that Lemony Snicket to believe a fact that he wished to share with the world. Though some of his "truths" are really quite ridiculous and some pointless a lot of amazing quotes lie within that book. The book is divided into sections like: Home, Travel, Affairs of the Heart. There are many funny quotes in here although there are also some that make you really think, there are even a few that may draw a tear from your eye, which is something I love about this book.
A great abundance of my favorite quotes lie within this book. It's a short read that will leave you with a smile on your face and I recommend it to anyone with a free afternoon.
Lemony Snicket had created his shortest and greatest little novel yet. Basically, the book was just a slightly under 200 page book with, "Bitter truths you cant avoid." Each page contained a thing that Lemony Snicket to believe a fact that he wished to share with the world. Though some of his "truths" are really quite ridiculous and some pointless a lot of amazing quotes lie within that book. The book is divided into sections like: Home, Travel, Affairs of the Heart. There are many funny quotes in here although there are also some that make you really think, there are even a few that may draw a tear from your eye, which is something I love about this book.
A great abundance of my favorite quotes lie within this book. It's a short read that will leave you with a smile on your face and I recommend it to anyone with a free afternoon.
March 31, 2017
I actually started this book a while back and couldn't get into it. However, in cleaning off my desk I saw that it had a bookmark in it, indicating that I wasn't that far. So, I picked it up again today.
And I finished it.
It's not a story, so don't go into it thinking you will get a tale. However, it has some great little quotes, some serious. Some humorous. Because of this, I was able to enjoy it. For example, I really liked "Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator." See--enjoyable.
But again, not a story, so don't go into it thinking you have this tale that will transpire. This is not a meal that has been prepared for you to enjoy. Instead, it is a supermarket that has opened its aisles and allowed you to pick and choose what you would like to take home.
Also, I enjoyed the fact this was a quick one because I'm trying to hit 100 books read this year...and that's, frankly, a pretty lofty goal.
And I finished it.
It's not a story, so don't go into it thinking you will get a tale. However, it has some great little quotes, some serious. Some humorous. Because of this, I was able to enjoy it. For example, I really liked "Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator." See--enjoyable.
But again, not a story, so don't go into it thinking you have this tale that will transpire. This is not a meal that has been prepared for you to enjoy. Instead, it is a supermarket that has opened its aisles and allowed you to pick and choose what you would like to take home.
Also, I enjoyed the fact this was a quick one because I'm trying to hit 100 books read this year...and that's, frankly, a pretty lofty goal.
January 10, 2017
I actually liked this book a lot more than I thought I would! I thought that there novel was very witty and creative. I laughed a lot and got confused on only a few things. You do have to have a sense of humor to get it, as I was told by the person who recommended it to me. I would recommend this!
January 11, 2022
Okay, I just read this book twice in a row. This little gem brought me so much joy. I love how complex themes are explained in an ironic sometimes even cynical way and how easy it is to feel and understand the sentiment.
August 21, 2010
How could I not give this a positive review with such obvious panders as:
Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.
and
A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late reading them.
Because even though those examples aren't what give Snicket's collection their depth,
One of the remarkable things about love is that, despite very irritating people writing poems and songs about how pleasant it is, it really is quite pleasant.
And, of course, that one isn't either. I'm glad I waited a few years before reading this collection of "truths," because time had faded my memory of what I love so much about Snicket's storytelling. This, after all, is the man who repeatedly through his Series of Unfortunate Events books extolled the virtues of drinking tea strong and black, because sometimes it's good to sip on life's bitterness. With wit and sarcasm and profound respect for intellect, but always with the undercurrent of bitter. The aphorisms are collected into short chapters with titles like, "Home," "Work," "Travel," and the like, but it's the title of the climactic twelfth (of thirteen, of course) chapter that captures what he's all about: "An Overall Feeling of Doom that One Cannot Ever Escape No Matter What One Does." So, with that in mind, a few more representative samples (saving the best for last):
Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby--awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.
-----
Everybody will die, of course, sooner or later. Circus performers will die, and clarinet experts will die, and you and I will die, and there might be a person who lives on your block, right now, who is looking both ways before he crosses the street and who will die in just a few seconds, all because of a bus. Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact.
-----
Deciding on the right thing to do in a situation is a bit like deciding on the right thing to wear to a party. It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier. The truth is that you can never be sure if you have decided on the right thing until the party is over, and by then it is too late to go back and change your mind, which is why the world is filled with people doing terrible things and wearing ugly clothing.
-----
Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake someone else up, so that they can feel this way, too.
Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.
and
A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late reading them.
Because even though those examples aren't what give Snicket's collection their depth,
One of the remarkable things about love is that, despite very irritating people writing poems and songs about how pleasant it is, it really is quite pleasant.
And, of course, that one isn't either. I'm glad I waited a few years before reading this collection of "truths," because time had faded my memory of what I love so much about Snicket's storytelling. This, after all, is the man who repeatedly through his Series of Unfortunate Events books extolled the virtues of drinking tea strong and black, because sometimes it's good to sip on life's bitterness. With wit and sarcasm and profound respect for intellect, but always with the undercurrent of bitter. The aphorisms are collected into short chapters with titles like, "Home," "Work," "Travel," and the like, but it's the title of the climactic twelfth (of thirteen, of course) chapter that captures what he's all about: "An Overall Feeling of Doom that One Cannot Ever Escape No Matter What One Does." So, with that in mind, a few more representative samples (saving the best for last):
Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby--awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.
-----
Everybody will die, of course, sooner or later. Circus performers will die, and clarinet experts will die, and you and I will die, and there might be a person who lives on your block, right now, who is looking both ways before he crosses the street and who will die in just a few seconds, all because of a bus. Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact.
-----
Deciding on the right thing to do in a situation is a bit like deciding on the right thing to wear to a party. It is easy to decide on what is wrong to wear to a party, such as deep-sea diving equipment or a pair of large pillows, but deciding what is right is much trickier. The truth is that you can never be sure if you have decided on the right thing until the party is over, and by then it is too late to go back and change your mind, which is why the world is filled with people doing terrible things and wearing ugly clothing.
-----
Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake someone else up, so that they can feel this way, too.
January 14, 2011
Read 95% of the book with a smile on my face. Snicket is rare, wonderful, and refreshing!!
Eight of my fave "truths you can't avoid":
Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the crimes, follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother's wombs, and then there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women.
It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting.
Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late to read them.
A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded.
Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.
One wanders through life as if wandering through a field in the dark of night, wearing a blindfold and very heavy shoes, with a poisonous toad waiting patiently beneath a clump of weeds, knowing full well that eventually you will step on him.
Everybody will die, of course, sooner or later. Circus performers will die, and clarinet experts will die, and you and I will die, and there might be a person who lives on your block, right now, who is not looking both ways before he crosses the street and who will die in just a few seconds, all because of a bus. Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact.
Eight of my fave "truths you can't avoid":
Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the crimes, follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother's wombs, and then there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women.
It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting.
Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.
A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because somebody will always be in it, taking books off the shelves and staying up late to read them.
A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded.
Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.
One wanders through life as if wandering through a field in the dark of night, wearing a blindfold and very heavy shoes, with a poisonous toad waiting patiently beneath a clump of weeds, knowing full well that eventually you will step on him.
Everybody will die, of course, sooner or later. Circus performers will die, and clarinet experts will die, and you and I will die, and there might be a person who lives on your block, right now, who is not looking both ways before he crosses the street and who will die in just a few seconds, all because of a bus. Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact.
September 7, 2007
I just happened upon this quirky litle book in the store where I 'moonlight' on the weekends. There was one copy face-out on a display table with other books with titles like "7 Secrets of Success" or "6 Lessons on Life" ...
This one obviously stood out among the others, with its simply clean cover and of course, the interesting title. I picked it up to find out more.
It didn't take very long to read through the entire book. With chapters laid out on different aspects of one's life (Family, Home, School, Work, etc.), it was interesting to think about the author's life and where his lessons stemmed from. I'm on to his autobiography next.
This is a great gift book for that person in your life who has been there, done that, seen it all, and yet still, somehow, is able to laugh at life and all its bitterness.
I'm handing it off to my dad this weekend for Grandparent's Day. I can't wait to see his reaction when he reads the back cover:
Life is a turbulent journey, fraught with confusion, heartbreak, and inconvenience.
This book will not help.
This one obviously stood out among the others, with its simply clean cover and of course, the interesting title. I picked it up to find out more.
It didn't take very long to read through the entire book. With chapters laid out on different aspects of one's life (Family, Home, School, Work, etc.), it was interesting to think about the author's life and where his lessons stemmed from. I'm on to his autobiography next.
This is a great gift book for that person in your life who has been there, done that, seen it all, and yet still, somehow, is able to laugh at life and all its bitterness.
I'm handing it off to my dad this weekend for Grandparent's Day. I can't wait to see his reaction when he reads the back cover:
Life is a turbulent journey, fraught with confusion, heartbreak, and inconvenience.
This book will not help.
July 3, 2012
I can't get enough of Lemony Snicket's dry, droll humor. In Horseradish, Lemony gives a collection of life's bitter truths. Here are some of my favorite quotes:
"Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them."
"It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone you know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things."
"Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator."
“It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches.”
Overall, the collection is hilarious, profound, and odd.
"Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them."
"It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone you know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things."
"Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator."
“It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches.”
Overall, the collection is hilarious, profound, and odd.
August 23, 2022
I feel weird even adding this book to my list. But in my reread of Series of Unfortunate Events I wanted to read everything written under the Lemony Snicket penname. This is actually just a series of quotes and flash stories. The section on mental health however offered some profound quotes. I recognized a few of them as repeats from Unfortunate Events so that was cool...but overall a cute little collection of grim quotes.
October 15, 2020
I forgot how Lemony Snicket’s writing is like pure serotonin in my brain. Somehow even when he’s writing bitterly it’s comforting?! Sorcery
However, like any collection of quotes, some are great, some fall flat, some are not great.
Honestly, even though I liked reading this collection, part of me thinks they were better in context and in the series.
However, like any collection of quotes, some are great, some fall flat, some are not great.
Honestly, even though I liked reading this collection, part of me thinks they were better in context and in the series.
June 28, 2021
2.5 stars. Ngl.... these are just snippets from the books which yes, are clever, but no, aren't particularly witty outside of their original context. Fun intro, but this book is not needed as a whole.
August 31, 2022
2.5 stars
Short, slightly strange quips. Some of which I'm pretty sure I already read in A Series Of Unfortunate Events.
Short, slightly strange quips. Some of which I'm pretty sure I already read in A Series Of Unfortunate Events.
August 27, 2009
I chose to read "Horseradish" in part because of the hilarious cover and in part because I've heard so many great things about Snicket (and loved his picture book,The Composer Is Dead) but his Series of Unfortunate Events has never really appealed to me. This is supposedly a "bouquet of alarming but inescapable truths [from Snicket's work:] along with selections from his unpublished papers and remarks he has made at dinner parties and anarchist riots, in order to remind the reader that even the loftiest of inspirations contains a sharp, bitter kernel of dread--and vice versa." Most of the quotes were really not so alarming as that, although there was a good deal of Gloom interspersed with the amusing. I tend not to gravitate toward Gloomy so I am probably not the target audience for this, but it still made for (largely) entertaining and enjoyable reading during a few lunch breaks. However, I am not sure I would recommend purchase (it can be read in less than an hour!) unless you are a die-hard Snicket fan--and even then perhaps most of this is stuff you've already read, I don't know how much is borrowed and how much is new. There is a short story in the Introduction that is, I assume, written for this book.
I'm awarding this only three stars because I was generally amused by the quotes but found some rather tedious, rambling and repetitive or just plan unoriginal. (Then, too, I wasn't a fan of the Gloomiest ones) Here is a sampling of the good, the bad, and the Gloomy--you can decide among them.
"The quoting of an aphorism, like the angry barking of a dog or the small of overcooked broccoli, rarely indicates that something helpful is about to happen."
"If one's safety is threatened, one often finds courage one didn't know one had."
"One wanders through life as if wandering through a field in the dark of night, wearing a blindfold and very heavy shoes, with a poisonous toad waiting patiently beneath a clump of weeds, knowing full well that eventually you will step on him."
"It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are getting interesting."
"Labor Day is a holiday honoring those who work for a living. Laborious Day is a lesser known holiday honoring those who cannot stop talking about their work."
I'm awarding this only three stars because I was generally amused by the quotes but found some rather tedious, rambling and repetitive or just plan unoriginal. (Then, too, I wasn't a fan of the Gloomiest ones) Here is a sampling of the good, the bad, and the Gloomy--you can decide among them.
"The quoting of an aphorism, like the angry barking of a dog or the small of overcooked broccoli, rarely indicates that something helpful is about to happen."
"If one's safety is threatened, one often finds courage one didn't know one had."
"One wanders through life as if wandering through a field in the dark of night, wearing a blindfold and very heavy shoes, with a poisonous toad waiting patiently beneath a clump of weeds, knowing full well that eventually you will step on him."
"It is one of life's bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are getting interesting."
"Labor Day is a holiday honoring those who work for a living. Laborious Day is a lesser known holiday honoring those who cannot stop talking about their work."
December 14, 2016
It turns out, this is really not even a book. It's just a bunch of pages with quick paragraphs or sentences bound together.
The whole idea of this book is to present advice in a witty or humorous way. But it isn't really all that witty or humorous, because the author's just using a schtick. You know what, I can make another entry just like it out of the template he kept using: "Taking Physics is just like having a car accident. You're in utter terror throughout the whole experience and ultimately everything crashes into a huge implosion." I mean, it's not great, and I acknowledge Handler/Snicket did a better job at it. But I didn't want to read 100+ entries of these. I was not entertained in the slightest. His whole intention is to be charming, but I wasn't charmed, I was annoyed. All of the advice was very obvious as well. I gained nothing from this reading experience.
This is unexpected, because I loved the Series of Unfortunate Events. However, I did read it in 5th grade, when I didn't have as much awareness or understand of writing. I guess with that series, I loved the cryptic conspiracy and the mystery, not the narration -- though I did remember myself giggling at it a couple times.
The whole idea of this book is to present advice in a witty or humorous way. But it isn't really all that witty or humorous, because the author's just using a schtick. You know what, I can make another entry just like it out of the template he kept using: "Taking Physics is just like having a car accident. You're in utter terror throughout the whole experience and ultimately everything crashes into a huge implosion." I mean, it's not great, and I acknowledge Handler/Snicket did a better job at it. But I didn't want to read 100+ entries of these. I was not entertained in the slightest. His whole intention is to be charming, but I wasn't charmed, I was annoyed. All of the advice was very obvious as well. I gained nothing from this reading experience.
This is unexpected, because I loved the Series of Unfortunate Events. However, I did read it in 5th grade, when I didn't have as much awareness or understand of writing. I guess with that series, I loved the cryptic conspiracy and the mystery, not the narration -- though I did remember myself giggling at it a couple times.
January 1, 2015
Snicket's constant sense of doom, of paranoia, of absurdity, never gets old for me. He undermines his own words by insisting that anything typed is not necessarily true, but offers advice so strange one has to listen to it. He brings up the oddities surrounding us that are hardly ever recognized, or restates the obvious banalities of life so as to make you think about why you do what you do. You can hear the voice of reason and the actual thoughts of an author bleeding through his quotes - sometimes apparently unwillingly. The way he combines metaphor and stereotypical phrases with simplistic physical realisms is strikingly unique. Snicket has earned a well-deserved place in my heart, no matter what he is writing.
April 4, 2014
There were some gems in this book, real laugh-out-loud ones with LS's typical humour and I would definitely recommend it as a flick through read. It would also be a very good taste of his style for anyone interested
January 1, 2018
Full of amazing, witty quotes and pieces of writing that make you happier having read them. Written in Lemony Snicket's unique voice, this book may not take you long to read through eagerly, but the words make you think about how you are living your life. I truly love this author.
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January 17, 2012I think that Lemony Snicket’s advice about putting cats in your mouth if you’re allergic – don’t do it – is excellent.
That is all I have to say about this book.
That is all I have to say about this book.
May 26, 2022
Read it in a single sitting. Very amusing. Do not skip the introduction.
September 24, 2020
I read this in one sitting!!! I loved it! Definitely the best quote book out there! (In my opinion) Totally recommend!!!
"A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because someone will always be in it, taking books off shelves and staying up late reading them."
-Lemony Snicket
"A good library will never be too neat, or too dusty, because someone will always be in it, taking books off shelves and staying up late reading them."
-Lemony Snicket
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