Shauna's Reviews > Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid

Life is a turbulent journey,
fraught with confusion,
heartbreak,
and inconvenience.

This book will not help.

…or at least, that's what the blurb reads. I think this exactly the sort of book it's nice to have around when you're down and struggling with life's inherent unfairness.

Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid is a compilation of quotes from A Series of Unfortunate Events, Lemony Snicket, the Unauthorized Autobiography, and The Beatrice Letters and I am ecstatic to have finally gotten my hands on it.
Years ago, I read somewhere between 7-10 books of A Series of Unfortunate Events and I loved Snicket's writing style and his twisted, irreverent sense of humor, I just couldn't enjoy the series the way I wanted to. I think it was my extreme lack of patience. I don't mind the odd children's book, but I really would have liked to just bottle the moments of brilliance that were keeping me reading and cut out the rest- this is that bottle. What we're left with is a brilliant, much more universally appealing book, I think.

Lemony Snicket's Horseradish is filled with 'bitter truths' pertaining to:

Home

'It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches.'

Family

'Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother's wombs, and then there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women.'

School

'A long time ago, there was no such thing as school, and children spent their days learning a trade, a phrase which here means "standing around doing tedious tasks under the instruction of a bossy adult." In time, however, people realized that the children could be allowed to sit, and the first school was invented.'

Work

'Like People, animals will become frightened and likely do whatever you say if you whip them enough.'

Entertainment

'One of the world's most popular entertainments is a deck of cards, which contains thirteen each of four suits, highlighted by kings, queens and jacks, who are possibly the queen's younger, more attractive boyfriends.'

Literature

''If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.'

Travel

'Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.'

Emotional Health

'Shyness is a curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people at any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down.'

Affairs of the Heart

'n love, as in life, one misheard word can be tremendously important. If you tell someone you love them, for instance, you must be absolutely certain that they have replied "I love you back" and not "I love your back" before you continue the conversation.'

A Life of Mystery

'Announcing your death should be like announcing that you are a lunar moth: It must be done quietly or it will not be believed.'

The Mystery of Life

'Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.'

An Overall Feeling of Doom that One Cannot Ever Escape No Matter What One Does

'There are some who go through life with a shadow hanging over them, particularly if they live in a building which has long wide awnings.'

...and finally (lucky thirteen) Miscellaneous

'Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of "systematically assisting Sisyphus's stealthy, cyst-susceptible sister," which is easier done than said.'

My only criticism is that it takes no time at all to read through- I wants more!!