Laugh Out Loud Quotes

“So I hear we get to go to town this weekend. Want to catch a movie or something?
--Z
P.S. That is, if Jimmy doesn't mind.

Translation: This weekend might be a good chance for us to see each other outside our school in a social environment, free of competetiton. I do not view other boys as threats, and I enjoy making them seem insignificant by calling them the wrong names. (Translation by Macey McHenry)”
― Ally Carter, Cross My Heart and Hope to Spy

“June laughs. "I have to say, you look better than most people I see. I've heard a lot about you."

"I hear about you a lot too," Eden replies in a rush, "mostly from Daniel. He thinks you're really hot.”
― Marie Lu, Champion

“Her name badge read: Hello! My name is DIE, DEMIGOD SCUM!”
― Rick Riordan, The Son of Neptune

“So, you do speak English. That makes sense now.” Catherine said, shaking her head.

“Of course, I speak English. I’m from Australia, not Tanzania.”
― Diane Merrill Wigginton, A Compromising Position

“You've known him how long?" Malcolm asked.
"Since he was a small boy. I firs noticed him when he slipped into Master Chubb's kitchen to steal some pies."
"So, what did you have to say to Will when you caught him stealing these pies?
"Oh, I didn't let on I was there. We rangers can be very unobtrusive when we choose. I remained out of sight and watched him. I thought he might have potential to be a ranger." Halt said.

Horace joined in "Why?"
Halt answered carefully. "Because he was excellent at moving from cover to cover. Chubb entered 3 times and never noticed him. So i thought that if he could acheive that with no training, he would make a good ranger."
"No" Horace spoke. "Thats not what I meant. Why were you hiding in the kitchen in the first place?"
"I told you. I was watching Will to see if he had the potential to be a ranger."
"Thats not what you said. You said that was the first time you noticed Will."
"Does it matter?"
"Not really. Were you hiding from chub yourself and Will just turned up by coincidence?"
"And why would I be hiding from master Chubb in his own kitchen?"
"Well, there were freshly made pies on the windowsill, and you like pies, don't you?"
"Are you acusing me of trying to steal those pies?!?!"
"No, of course not. I just thought i'd give you the opportunity to confess."

After a pause, Halt continued. "You know, Horace, you used to be a most agreeable young man. Whatever happened to you?"
"I've spent to much time around you, I suppose."

And Halt had to admit that was probably true.”
― John Flanagan

“Oh, sorry, love. I was just getting out of the shower when I heard this loud commotion in front of my door.” Jake gave her a sloppy grin. “I didn’t realize there was a dress code when coming to the aid of a beautiful neighbor. I’ll keep it in mind for the next time I come running.”
― Diane Merrill Wigginton, A Compromising Position

“With one hand disturbing a colony of parasitic life forms in his uncombed hair, he yawned loudly.
     ‘Morning Steve,’ Thomas said scratching his grubby face. His breath drifted across the space between them making Steve’s nose twitch involuntarily.”
― A.R. Merrydew, Our Blue Orange

“But sir…’
     ‘Don’t worry I said I’ll do it,’ snapped the President.
     ‘But sir there’s just one other thing.’
     The President held the club in his hands like a seasoned baseball star. He glanced over at the Phlegm-O-Matic resting in the legionnaire’s rusted hand. ‘What?’
     ‘That protocol doesn’t include you.’
     The President’s shoulders sank and the air left his lungs in a rush. The legionnaire turned and aimed the gun at him.”
― A.R. Merrydew, Our Blue Orange

“If there was one thing a former sniper could do well, it was wait. Patiently. Quietly. Without a sound. Barely a movement. Just him, a quiet mind and his breath.”
― J. Rose Black, Losing My Breath

“     ‘The onboard computer just wants to say a few words before we leave.’
     The speakers in the cabin crackled into life. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to welcome you on-board the presidential shuttle for tonight’s illicit flight, Alfa Bravo Charlie. I would just like to say it’s a pleasure to meet you all and thank you so much for coming here tonight to steal me. To be honest I don’t get out much these days so this is something of a special occasion.’
     ‘It will be for us too if we get caught,’ Semilla said sardonically.”
― A.R. Merrydew, Our Blue Orange

“I can’t do more than this. Don’t ask me. If you ask, I’ll try and I’ll fail. You’ll end up hating me. And I’d rather die . . . than have you hate me. Or disappoint you. My own darkness, it still chips away at me.”
― J. Rose Black, Losing My Breath

“You teach people how to treat you by what you accept.”
― Diamond Drake, Imagined Love

“Callan stared at the door. Raw and razed and present. A crucial moment—when he wasn’t the one with his finger on the trigger.”
― J. Rose Black, Losing My Breath

“When I signed up for this honeymoon, I had no idea it would involve so much nudity...”
― Christina Lauren, The Unhoneymooners

“I didn’t say she was fat. Just easier to see than most,” Jason said. “I bet even her bath has stretch marks!”
― Mark A. Cooper, Fatal Wrath

“This is where I will shine. This is where my father would have cried, clasped me to his bosom and muttered, "my daughter, my darling daughter. I know thee, because you are a reflection of me." (Don't ask me where I get this shit. I'm just THAT worldly.)”
― Nina Beck, This Book Isn't Fat, It's Fabulous

“The worst part about being sick is not getting any sympathy from my wife. She says I have the "man-flu." The Urban Dictionary defines "man-flu" as "an illness that causes the male to be completely helpless and sicker than any other family member." In females it is known as a cold.”
― James Collins, Don't Throw the Believer Out with the Baptistry Water: The Best of The Point Is... Volume 1

“Walk like you don’t care where your limbs are,’ Agnes said, doing a
much better job of it than Gwen. ‘As if it’s of no consequence to you where
they end up. Like this. See? Swing them about. And you should act, at all
times, as if your crotch is a burden.’

‘Now hang on,’ said Arthur. ‘I’m a man, and my crotch isn’t a burden.’

‘Maybe not to you,’ said Gwen. ‘But it’s a burden on the rest of
humanity.”
― Lex Croucher, Gwen & Art Are Not in Love

“Christ. My cock is thickening faster than whisked gravy over a high heat.”
― Tessa Bailey, Window Shopping

“Even MASON froze a moment. “Bridger built a satellite that built a robot capable of blasting missiles halfway to the Moon?”

Cato smiled gently, so gently. “Bridger made resurrection potions, and a magic crystal ball, and Achilles. This is marginally less impossible.”
― Ada Palmer, Perhaps the Stars

“This woman?
Mine.
Because I’m hers.
Heart, body, and soul.
She’s it. I’m done.”
― Pippa Grant, Stud in the Stacks

“O My Gawd was a single black diamond.

It took me close to an hour to negotiate my descent. It was a slap-stick of pratfalls, body sprawls, flailing arms, wild careening swoops. I can still see myself as I must have looked to anyone watching - a small boy overdressed against the cold, with a parka that made him look swaddled in pillows, hollering as he came, an object of terror and humor, a spectacle of mayhem and folly, a vaudeville act of bungling and antics.

Anyhow, I survived it, in case you are wondering.”
― Mark Buchanan, Spiritual Rhythm: Being with Jesus Every Season of Your Soul

“I know why there are pink feathers down there! There's a fucking flamingo standing in the bath!”
― Mandy Baggot, My Greek Island Summer

“You know the laughter that proceeds from the heart by the way it sounds, and how it makes you feel.”
― Michael Bassey Johnson, Song of a Nature Lover

“It's hard with family. I know this because I played Monopoly with mine at Christmas.”
― James Veitch

“Living life on the edge allows us to dream.”
― Saphel Rose, On The Market: An original, quirky, romantic comedy. A dash of nonconformity, and a healthy dose of satirical edginess.

“How do you feel about blowjobs?”
Era spits his water out all over the place.”
― Aisling Magie, My December Balcony Neighbor

“Defying my childhood teachers by making a career out of daydreaming, coloring outside the lines, and making people laugh out loud.”
― Daisy Dexter Dobbs

“Laughter connects you with people. It’s almost impossible to maintain any kind of distance or any sense of social hierarchy when you’re just howling with laughter.”
― John Cleese

“Seriously. I’ll wager you aren’t ten years older than me.”
“I bet I am.”
“So what? So when I’m eighty, you’ll be ninety. It’s just a number.”
I relaxed on a pile of pillows on my end of the boat. Eyes closed, I enjoyed the sunshine’s warmth on my face with the intermittent quack of ducks floating on the cool breeze. “I’m just saying, I’m not sure your eighty-year-old self will enjoy being chased by a gaggle of ninety-year-old women at the old folks’ home.”
“And I’m just saying if you were there, I’d let you catch me.”
― Kelly Elizabeth Huston, Tex Miller Is Dead