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“Hold up. I wanna make sure I got this right. Your dead husband, whom you talk to, who you know is dead, is making fun of you because all of a sudden you’re horny?”
Please talk some sense into him
Frustrated, I run both hands through my hair, no doubt making it look like my favorite anime character. Nope, still Dragon Ball Z. “Shut. Up. Asadi!” Both of Parker’s eyebrows go up, and I bury my head in my hands, knowing she’s about three-point-five seconds from having me dragged off by the men in white coats.
Because you need therapy lol
“Honey, if you’re whispering the word lube, you are not ready.” I push her off me and take her bento box of veggie goodness, stealing her chopsticks for a bite. “I know that! You’re just as bad as Asadi!” I say through a mouthful, dropping some of it on my shirt. She grabs her napkin and wipes away the bit of cauliflower before snatching her chopsticks back from me. “At least I’m, you know, real.” She does have a point there.
Oh look, he's self aware
Y’all—I can’t remember. Is blow job one word or two? Blowjobs. Blow jobs. Both look weird.
Fact
Oh god, it’s a new level of fucked-up to be turned on by murder. Well, it wasn’t murder murder. He was just a little overprotective with a body count. A fact which happens to turn me on. …Yeah, I can live with that.
