Build Rapport Quotes

“For as Molly looked at him, she felt an immediate … she didn’t know what. Despite her love of the language arts, she also possessed an analytic mind, and that mind straightaway tried to seek out the why. And it couldn’t unearth the reason apart from his smile. Or, rather, how he smiled at her—warm and full-armed, like the embrace from a long-absent friend, without the slightest trace of fakeness or concealed motive. His was the most open face she’d ever seen in her life. Concomitant with these sensations, all delivered within a split second, was a thought, seemingly originating not in her mind but from the center of her torso and radiating out to the ends of each nerve, inexplicable in its suddenness and surety. A thought that children and very young people might have, but never middle-aged adults, especially one with a divorce behind her and the conviction that she already knew the world and what it was able to offer. But there it was, undeniably, the thought: I’m on a great adventure.”
― Ray Smith, The Magnolia That Bloomed Unseen

“A discreet person . . .

• is strong, yet humble;
• expresses genuine concern and interest;
• exercises caution to avoid unnecessary risks;
• knows intuitively when a situation or conversation is heading in the wrong direction;
• does not need to tear others down to build himself up;
• refrains from using foul language or speaking brashly;
• regulates her reactions and responds appropriately;
• takes the higher road rather than wrestling in the mud;
• remains gracious and poised in the heat of the moment;
• refrains from unnecessary confrontations;
• does not break confidence or share other people’s secrets with which they have been entrusted;
• communicates with deliberation and confidence.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“Even if you’re not broadcasting your personal life to the universe through social media, choose your confidants wisely and with discretion. Your ability to keep your personal details close to your vest will encourage others to feel that you are trustworthy enough to be trusted with their personal details.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“UN-Impressive Acts of Indiscretion

• Forwarding other people's emails without getting permission.
• Throwing other people under the bus to save yourself.
• Talking loudly, being boorish and insensitive to the others around you.
• Flagrant cheating.
• Burning bridges.
• Talking smack.
• Dissing your competitor to your customer.
• Oversharing and revealing too much personal information about yourself and others.
• Breaking trust by sharing someone else’s secrets.
• Being passive-aggressive to manipulate a situation or person.
• Saying one thing and doing another.
• Being two-faced.
• Lying by omission.
• Dispensing bulls#@%!”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“8 Ways to Shine a Positive Light on Others

1. Let the other person appear smart. The person who desperately tries to be the smartest person in the room inevitably comes off as the least.
2. Don’t bring attention to anything which may embarrass another person. Whether your conversation partner has poor grammar, a pimple on his chin, or lacks social grace, a discreet person does not say or do anything which would make another feel ashamed, embarrassed, or humiliated. Allow the other person to maintain his own grace and dignity.
3. Ask their opinions, seek their advice, ask them inquiring questions. By allowing them to reveal their opinions and knowledge, you will demonstrate respect and make them feel important.
4. Practice patience. Sometimes it takes a person a moment to gather her thoughts, process information, or respond appropriately. Your patience is respectful and appreciated.
5. Maintain your calm. Rather than react with anger or defensiveness, regulate your response and shift the energy into a more positive direction.
6. Put your ego aside. Allow another to triumph and enjoy the spotlight.
7. Be aware and concerned for the feelings of others.
8. Purposely seek ways to put others at ease and make them feel comfortable.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“Oversharing

Why do some people feel the need to share their deepest, darkest secrets with complete strangers or on social media? How could saying too much, too soon possibly help their case or earn the respect of others? Perhaps their insatiable need to share every sordid detail of their existence satisfies a yearning to get attention, gain sympathy, or make friends.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“The irony is that their enthusiasm for personal revelation can backfire badly and have the opposite effect. People become their own worst enemies and don’t need anyone else’s help in making themselves the brunt of gossip, judgment, and ridicule. A person who overshares demonstrates a lack of dignity, maturity, and discrimination, and it may also be a strong indicator of self-absorbed narcissism and exhibitionism.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“Learn to choose your battles carefully. When you exercise discretion, you will realize that most fights are best avoided. Let those sleeping dogs sleep!”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“The truth may be true, but a discreet person understands that speaking the truth isn’t always helpful. It can also be hurtful and harmful.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“When we look at our words and deeds in this context, it strengthens our resolve to be incredibly selective. Everything we say and do becomes a part of who we are and how we connect to others.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“1. Building Trust & Rapport. Trust and rapport are the heartbeat of business, the backbone of high performing teams, and the secret sauce for healthy relationships.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“Be Interested & Interesting. People will be more interested in you when you are interested in them. If you want to impress, talk to them about . . . them.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“Vulnerability is our relationship to our weaknesses, not our weaknesses themselves.

It's the feeling we have when confronted with our imperfections. The image of being vulnerable is that of taking off our armor, making ourselves available to be intimate, to be touchable. To own your vulnerabilities is a move of trust, a move of solidarity.”
― Scott Erickson, Say Yes: Discover the Surprising Life Beyond the Death of a Dream

“The best safeguards you have are to live with dignity, love, and self-respect, and to make choices you can be proud of in the first place. Even as an adult, I still think to myself—what would my mother say?”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“The dictionary defines discretion as the quality of showing discernment, the ability to make responsible decisions, and behaving or speaking in such a way as to avoid causing offense to others or revealing private information. Doing what is right is not always easy and can require uncommon courage. Be brave my friends, living right is its own reward.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“Discretion is the Larger Part of Valor

Discretion represents both your personal self-respect and the respect you have for other people. A discreet person has the wisdom to differentiate between good and bad, right and wrong, and favorable and unfavorable.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“To Disclose or Not Disclose

I just saw a poster: "Dirty laundry goes here (laundry basket) not here (Facebook logo)."
Online and in person, withholding personal information is a discreet way of regulating what people learn, think, and know about you. There are times when keeping it real and keeping it honest will reveal your authenticity and trustworthiness, but there are other times, however, when things are better left unsaid or locked away. Hence the term TMI, meaning "Too Much Information!" Discretion is part of "keeping it real" in professional (and self) respect.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“There will be times when you would be wise to err on the side of caution. And rather than making a magnificent misstep, zip your lip and bite your tongue for personal and professional self-preservation.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“Usually this kind of self-serving “honesty” will sabotage your success. If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Realize that sometimes your own words can, and probably will, come back to be used against you.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

When I hear someone expressing an adamant opinion which is diametrically opposed to my own, I have a strong temptation to try to convince them otherwise. But what value is there in attempting to prove another person wrong? How would that solve anything?”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“The variety of political positions shared on Facebook in the 2016 Presidential Election was both entertaining and, sadly, destructive. I observed friends of a lifetime divide into different camps and sacrifice their friendships through argument and debate. As an avid reader and political junkie, I had to hold myself back from expressing my opinions or presenting factual evidence which would obliterate others’ claims. Why would I jump into the fray? All it would do is hurt the friendship. Rarely does arguing political positions change an opinion or belief.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“Have you met people who are so set on exerting their position that they are oblivious to the feelings of others? That their being right is more important than being kind? We all must consider which stance is the most beneficial. Might I suggest . . . kindness?”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“Why do some people feel the need to throw a person's errors or weaknesses in their face or criticize their shortcomings? What benefit can they possibly receive from proving someone wrong to prove they are right? This level of insensitivity and self-centeredness leaves collateral damage in its wake and destroys positive impressions.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“The Truth Can Hurt . . .

“Honesty is one of your most valuable virtues, however, when used without discretion, it can reap unfavorable repercussions.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“Be Personable & Friendly. People who are genuinely warm and sincerely kind are easy to talk to, easy to like and bring a positive vibe to new encounters and social situations.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“Be a Discovery Expert. Be inquisitive. A wonderful way to get to know someone is simply by asking questions. The more you ask, the more you can learn . . . about people, work, life.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“Use Discretion & Good Judgment. Don't share your most embarrassing moments with public exposure. Doing what is right is not always easy and can require uncommon courage. Be brave my friends, living right is its own reward.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“Use Fun & Humor. Humor lightens spirits, comforts through a challenge, brings people together, engages, and entertains. Bring delight and joy to others and you will leave them wanting more.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“Make Others Feel Important. We all have an innate desire to feel important, be special, and feel appreciated. In your words and behavior help others feel important.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact

“Commonality & Camaraderie. By identifying, developing, and connecting powerful points of reference to others, you will have a rich resource of information from which to engage in stimulating conversations and connect on amazing levels.”
― Susan C. Young, The Art of Connection: 8 Ways to Enrich Rapport & Kinship for Positive Impact