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Duck Quotes Quotes

Quotes tagged as "duck-quotes" Showing 1-30 of 398
Jarod Kintz
“I love how golf courses have water hazards. But the ponds feel empty without ducks. I'd like to start a business renting my ducks out to country clubs.”
Jarod Kintz, To be good at golf you must go full koala bear

Jarod Kintz
“The dandelion gives all of its future to ride on the wind for one beautiful moment. I'll bet my flightless Pekin ducks would trade their life away to become one with the breeze.”
Jarod Kintz, Music is fluid, and my saxophone overflows when my ducks slosh in the sounds I make in elevators.

Jarod Kintz
“I once saw a duck on a golf course. It was the best part of the game.”
Jarod Kintz, Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast

Jarod Kintz
“Crack a duck egg and chug it. Nature's energy drink.”
Jarod Kintz, Eggs, they’re not just for breakfast

Jarod Kintz
“White people have been accused of not seasoning our chicken. But what about other poultry? I season duck with layered flavors of various aquatic spices, like swimming, splashing, and powdered saxophone music.”
Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

Jarod Kintz
“I'm a duck farmer. Am I the world's best duck farmer? Probably not, but there's no official ranking, and I'm a modest guy, so I claim the number two spot.”
Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

Jarod Kintz
“My ducks give me eggs, and I took two of those eggs and nurtured them under a dome to produce two ducklings. In a way, I am their mother, and I think Hallmark should make a special card to honor me.”
Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

Jarod Kintz
“My ducks have trumpets for beaks. I do NOT farm the way liquid jazz would fill up an elevator and turn it into an ascending pond.”
Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

Jarod Kintz
“Some people call me The Duck King, but that isn't true, because I was elected. That makes me The Duck President.”
Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

Jarod Kintz
“Ducks splash in water like an aqua saxophone swims in jazz. Elevators have space that needs to be filled with anti-silence, and I have a surplus of liquid music you can purchase or lease.”
Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

Jarod Kintz
“My ducks swim like they are water dancing. They do this because I play the saxophone like it's liquid music.”
Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

Jarod Kintz
“Music is fluid, and my ducks love splashing in it. When I fill my pool full of Vaporwave, they swim like they're dancing.”
Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

Jarod Kintz
“Ducks are water gymnasts. Their fluid motion goes beyond dance and into art.”
Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

Jarod Kintz
“Holding a Pekin duckling is like hand cuddling a ball of sunshine. It's a power-charging station for the heart.”
Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

Jarod Kintz
“Ducks are born to swim. Fears are born to drown. Sometimes, you just need to help them remember.”
Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

Jarod Kintz
“Ducks are melodic, not melodramatic. That, plus the gift of aquatic aviation, makes them the ideal soup ingredient.”
Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

Jarod Kintz
“Larry Bird was a great basketball player, but he would have been even better if he were more specific. I'd wear a Larry Duck jersey.”
Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

Jarod Kintz
“Daisies are the Pekin ducks of flowers. They radiate joy like they are tiny shining suns.”
Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

Jarod Kintz
“People always reveal who they really are. It may take the removal of 33 masks to get there, but they always show themselves. That's why I prefer hanging out with ducks.”
Jarod Kintz, Powdered Saxophone Music

Jarod Kintz
“Ducks like balloons. Think about THAT next time your child has a birthday party and you choose to not invite all of mine.”
Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

Jarod Kintz
“I just started taking IQ Vitamins, and I can already feel myself developing a Super Brain. Soon I’ll be able to communicate with cats and ducks.”
Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

Jarod Kintz
“I'm a musical conductor. My orchestra is composed of 72 quacking ducks, and they perform best in the morning when I'm about to let them out of their pen.”
Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

Jarod Kintz
“Money laundering is dirty business. Next time, try duck farming.”
Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

Jarod Kintz
“The old saying is true: You are who you associate with. That makes me 72 ducks.”
Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

Jarod Kintz
“It was a foggy morning, and those are always full of mystery. I had Miss Marple watch my ducks, so the whole scene became a Murder-Free Zone.”
Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

Jarod Kintz
“Earth, water, and sky—ducks are birds of those three elements. And their passion for play embodies the fourth—fire.”
Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

Jarod Kintz
“I got a call last week from Harvard. They want me to come to Boston to teach Nonsense 101. I told them I'm 72 ducks, and they don't have a pool big enough to afford me.”
Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

Jarod Kintz
“My favorite drink is water. That's because I can swim in it. I learned that from ducks.”
Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

Jarod Kintz
“Time is fluid, like water. Swim in it like a duck.”
Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

Jarod Kintz
“I took up duck farming in The Ozarks in 2020. I guess I did it mainly because the YMCA Aquatic Center in Orlando was operating at full occupancy with a geriatric aerobics class, and the instructor wouldn't let me ride my unicycle in the pool.”
Jarod Kintz, A Memoir of Memories and Memes

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