When I started reading this I felt like it probably wasn't for me - it had a sort of upbeat self-help tone that didn’t resonate with me at all, but whWhen I started reading this I felt like it probably wasn't for me - it had a sort of upbeat self-help tone that didn’t resonate with me at all, but when I started reading further I quickly came across material that felt uncomfortably familiar. Like the aversiveness of shame, and all we do to try and avoid or hide from it (negative self-talk, perfectionism, escapism, blaming others etc.). The chapters all deal with different mistakes people commonly make because of this, with examples and tips of how to do the work, and an honest perspective admitting that this isn’t a quick fix solution, but just a box of tools with which to do the hard work....more
There is something so appealing about a simple life, about shedding all the usual hurry and stress and clutter of life for the purity of the things yoThere is something so appealing about a simple life, about shedding all the usual hurry and stress and clutter of life for the purity of the things you value. But I'm not sure the sort of simplicity explored here is really all that simple for most. The book begins with a description of her tiny cabin by her own private lake in France, where she escapes for a week or so at a time, and at this point the entire enterprise while undeniably idyllic, already seems unachievable for most. Although this isn't the core message, none of what she describes seems easy- doing your own growing, cooking, seeing, building, mending, while all perhaps grounded and meaningful are also difficult and time consuming. That said, the core messages explored do seem to pick out something important - the value of meaningful work, working with hands, time outdoors, connection to community, and perhaps we can each find our own ways to implement these things. ...more
This is a book about managing your mental health, covering topics like low mood, motivation, grief, anxiety, and stress. It's one of those books whereThis is a book about managing your mental health, covering topics like low mood, motivation, grief, anxiety, and stress. It's one of those books where (despite what the title might claim) most of what is presented feels familiar, like "oh yes, I've heard this before" but presents it in a way that both reminds and motivates you. There are even questions and worksheets that seem like they'd be really useful if you were in a place of dealing with any of these problems acutely. Overall, it's an interesting read but nothing groundbreaking....more
This is an honest and inspiring (if slightly triggering) account of what it's like to live with depression, and to find a careful path back to life whThis is an honest and inspiring (if slightly triggering) account of what it's like to live with depression, and to find a careful path back to life when nothing seems worthwhile. It's told in small fragments of memories, anecdotes, and advice, and is useful both for tips on how to get through but also for letting you know that someone else (many others) have been there too....more
I finished reading this, ready to give it four stars - it felt like solid relationship advice for anyone, poly or mono: communication, trust, compassiI finished reading this, ready to give it four stars - it felt like solid relationship advice for anyone, poly or mono: communication, trust, compassion, strength. But after diving into the real-life story of the authors and all the women Franklin has exploited and mistreated (https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/), it's hard not to wonder how much of what is in here is an attempt at manipulation and control, to try and invalidate experiences and make women question their real and justified feelings. There might be some good stuff here, but it feels too difficult now to entangle it from the rest....more
This was way more focussed on trauma than I was expecting, and won't be so useful for those with more general forms of anxiety and depression. It was This was way more focussed on trauma than I was expecting, and won't be so useful for those with more general forms of anxiety and depression. It was a fun book to read though, written in a nice casual style and based in current neuroscience which was explained clearly....more
This was much more a general relationship guide than one specific to new parents, except inasmuch that the arrival of a new baby puts all kinds of extThis was much more a general relationship guide than one specific to new parents, except inasmuch that the arrival of a new baby puts all kinds of extra strains on the existing relationship issues. That said, it is nicer to read this sort of advice coming from researchers with real observations and data to back up their claims and recommendations - helps to cut through to what is likely to really work....more
I've always been vaguely interested in memory sports, and memory development more generally, in a sort of "oh, I could probably do that if I wanted toI've always been vaguely interested in memory sports, and memory development more generally, in a sort of "oh, I could probably do that if I wanted to" sort of way. I always felt like maybe I should put in a bit of time to develop these skills and then reap the longer-term benefits of perhaps having better access to memories of what I've read, for example. Reading this book has freed me of all of that, and for that I'm grateful. Not because it made it seem like it wasn't possible - one thing demonstrated here is that it is very possible, for anyone willing to try - but because it showed just how much work it really is, for questionable long-term life benefits. Joshua Foer writes so entertainingly about the whole process, and about the features of memory itself, but my take-home message was definitely "don't bother" haha. I think I'd like to use some of the techniques for instances where it would be useful for me to remember specific lists and facts, but in general I think I'll have to stick with my tried and tested external memory aids!...more
Really, I feel like all self-help books are just telling you things you already know. The best ones are just ones which manage to present it in a new Really, I feel like all self-help books are just telling you things you already know. The best ones are just ones which manage to present it in a new way, one that maybe gets through to you a little better. This book, at least in parts, did that. I continually found myself marking pages, thinking "I hadn't thought about it like that before, I should remember that." Thinking now, the one point that really stuck with me is the idea that we should stop expecting motivation to come before action - the classic trap of the procrastinator. Instead, start with action (some small thing that you feel you can manage) and inspiration/motivation will follow, leading to more action. Whether this will actually help me remains to be seen, but it did seem like a useful way to think about it. This book is full of small useful ideas like that, and if you're going to read any book of this type, this seems like one of the best to sit down with....more
I had picked up this book thinking it would be about wellbeing - a good life in terms of what is good for its bearer; perhaps an examination of those I had picked up this book thinking it would be about wellbeing - a good life in terms of what is good for its bearer; perhaps an examination of those things which have been found to be truly beneficial for people to have. Instead, it was about morality - a good life in terms of what is good for the world, for others. The first couple of chapters had a very strong 'kids these days' sort of vibe, complaining about all the ways in which we are becoming more selfish, more sheltered etc. etc. Although some of it is probably true, the tone of complaint was a little hard to take. Moving on to how we might live a (morally) good life was more interesting - although much of it was really quite obvious, there were some specific tips about how to treat others with kindness and respect that I found worth thinking about. Overall, you could probably get most of the important material from a decent blog post though; it didn't feel necessary to be spread over an entire book....more
Maybe I should save this review until a few months in, when I see how successful the strategies here really are ... But just reading this made me feelMaybe I should save this review until a few months in, when I see how successful the strategies here really are ... But just reading this made me feel more in control of my money, like even with my currently very small income, I could get on top of my financial issues and end up ahead. It's easy to read and the steps are simple and clearly laid out. The first couple of steps have worked out well so far, so I guess we'll see how it goes....more
This felt more like a loose collection of essays on a common theme than a book with a central thread. I agree with most of what the author was saying,This felt more like a loose collection of essays on a common theme than a book with a central thread. I agree with most of what the author was saying, in terms of the importance of proper solitude and how difficult it can be, but some of this felt a bit like anti-technology ranting too. Still, it inspired me to try and make an effort to take more time to myself, particularly away from my phone/computer etc. so I guess in that sense it was successful....more
This had a bit of a Paulo Coelho feel - a story that wasn't there for its own sake, but as the bones to hang something else on; in this case, a philosThis had a bit of a Paulo Coelho feel - a story that wasn't there for its own sake, but as the bones to hang something else on; in this case, a philosophical and psychological exploration of the experience of long-term love. Although it is nominally fiction, I read it more as non-fiction, as a sort of self-help, how-to for better understanding what the realities and challenges of long-term relationships are really like. I think it's a valuable project - he's right that most of our experiences of love in pop culture and literature are of the 'getting there' - of meeting and getting past obstacles to finally be together. What we don't see is the rest of it - what it is like to be in long-term love, and how to deal with the (very normal) issues that arise. This was fairly quick to read, and was thought-provoking and somewhat comforting in normalising what may sometimes seem to be deeper problems....more
Although I found this had some interesting points to think on, and discuss with my husband, overall the spiritual/religious tone was too offputting foAlthough I found this had some interesting points to think on, and discuss with my husband, overall the spiritual/religious tone was too offputting for me. If there had been less talk of 'the energy between you' or 'finding God through love' I might have been more on board....more
What I found really interesting in this was the challenge to the assumptions of monogamy - what is it that we think we are losing if we allow our partWhat I found really interesting in this was the challenge to the assumptions of monogamy - what is it that we think we are losing if we allow our partners more freedom? Why should we resist the connections we make with new people, just because we are in a relationship? Everyone is going to find where they're comfortable, but it seems odd now to never think through the possibilities at all - to live the default rather than make a reasoned decision on what works for you....more
Very sweet and funny, but also some really useful tips. A lot of it was fairly obvious common sense stuff, but I definitely learned some new things anVery sweet and funny, but also some really useful tips. A lot of it was fairly obvious common sense stuff, but I definitely learned some new things and came up with some plans for better managing my time etc....more
I guess as far as weight loss books go, this would have been one of the better ones, but it still didn't hold much of my interest. There was nothing hI guess as far as weight loss books go, this would have been one of the better ones, but it still didn't hold much of my interest. There was nothing here that common sense couldn't tell you, or the plethora of magazine articles and blog posts that I've read over many years. I liked the conversational writing style and use of personal experience, but overall found myself underwhelmed. I think in large part I have a problem with the project of the book - as much as it claims to be about health, it is clearly aimed at weight loss and still felt too regimented for a long-term lifestyle change....more
I guess this is what would happen if Dan Brown decided he'd discovered the philosophical secret to saving humanity. Terrible narrative, even worse spiI guess this is what would happen if Dan Brown decided he'd discovered the philosophical secret to saving humanity. Terrible narrative, even worse spiritual philosophy, but yet I ended up reading the whole thing because it was hilariously entertaining....more
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