Elliot Aronson

“We each have a story to tell. A story that we tell. We don’t want to change that story because we don’t want to admit that we were wrong. That would hurt our self image. So, we continue on in self deception even when it is obvious to the rest of the world that we are rejecting the “truth.” ”


Contents
...
Introduction
1. Cognitive Dissonance: The Engine of Self-Justificaiton
2. Pride and Prejudice ... and other blind spots
3. Memory, the Self-Justifying Historian
4. Good Intentions, Bad Science: The Closed Loop of Clinical Judgment
5. Law and Disorder - quite a depressing chapter
6. Love’s Assassin: Self-Justification in Marriage - also a depressing chapter
7. Wounds, Rifts, and Wars
8. Letting Go and Owning Up
9. Dissonance, Democracy and the Demagogue
...… (more)

This meticulously researched book delves deep into the functions of the human memory and the way we reduce dissonance by massaging our memory to cast ourselves in the best possible light. Moreover, when we make mistakes or abandon our values, we reduce dissonance by doubling down and assuring ourselves that we did nothing wrong. This is how people can carry on affairs while justifying themselves by recalling the unpleasant quirks of their spouse.

The book examines the way cognitive dissonance can effect relationships, professions, law and order, and politics. Although the topic is heavy, the writing is very light and easy to consume. I found the content fascinating and disturbing in equal measure. The knowledge that our own memories which make up our self-understanding are malleable and prone to revision was upsetting enough to require quite a bit of dissonance reduction on its own.

To then learn that most of despicable acts of those in our lives and in the news would never be acknowledged or regretted by those who commit them was extremely discouraging. Moreover, knowing that we often gloss over our own cruelties and may never know the true impact of our behaviors was also very upsetting.

The way I reduced dissonance around these unfortunate facts is to hope that having read this book, I'll be more aware of my own instinct to diminish my own mistakes and be more sympathetic to those I disagree with. Still, it's cold comfort. It's a book I would recommend, although it's hardly light reading.… (more)