Randy Ribay

A story of four generations of Filipino-American men: Francisco, Emil, Chris, and Enzo. The story explores the perspectives of each of these men around the age of 16—so we see the first 3 as sons, and then as fathers and grandfathers through the perspectives of their sons and grandsons. It's an interesting way to move through the history of this family, through its fathers and sons, from the 1930s through the 2020s pandemic lockdowns. Along the way the history of the Philippines and relations between the Philippines and the U.S. are also explored.

The switching between times and protagonists is really deftly done. Just when you've witnessed some conflict between a teen and their father, in which the father is clearly wrong, you go back to see a pivotal moment from the father's own adolescence that shapes the way he sees the world. It was hard to hold any of these men in contempt, or hold their failings as fathers against them, once you knew where they had come from. Which seemed to be the point—that their generational conflicts could be resolved, if they could truly communicate with each other. I wonder if even Francisco's family-abandoning father would have seemed sympathetic if we had gone back to see how he had grown up?… (more)

EVERYTHING WE NEVER HAD is a fictional tale about Francisco, Emil, Chris, and Enzo: four generations of men told across their generation. Each point of view tells a different tale: Francisco coming to the US seemingly failing at what he wanted to do, Emil lacking fatherly attention and working with his family, Chris lacking the same attention, Enzo suffering from that in the midst of a pandemic. All their stories intertwining in a way that I can't begin to describe.
I read this book in one sitting. I was surprised at how well EVERYTHING WE NEVER HAD held my attention. Literally, going into this, I didn't know what to expect---what I got was a riveting tale generations: falling apart, coming together, and everything in between.
I thought it would be confusing with the multi-pov + multi-timeline, and though it was at times, I appreciated that everything came together in a way that made sense in the end.… (more)

This well written story is about 4 generations of Filipino men (in the US), who we meet as teens, and as fathers. They each struggle, notably in their relationship with their son or father, and in communicating their feelings. The author did a good job conveying the perspective of the characters, who felt real. Rather than a long-drawn out chronological saga, the chapters are fully developed snap shots in time. I gained a better understanding of this underrepresented minority, the immigrant experience and even a bit on the history of the Philippines. The content matter is heavy and thought-provoking. Themes include generational trauma, family obligation, father-son relationships, racism, poverty, immigration, violence and mental health.
I was provided with an ARC (thanks to the author & publisher!) and I am voluntarily posting my honest review.… (more)

EVERYTHING WE NEVER HAD delivers a Take-No-Prisoners history from both sides of the ocean. From Francisco finally landing in the U.S. to his great grandson, Enzo, trying to decipher all that has happened to his family to create the father and son schisms.

When COVID moves Enzo's lolo Emil in with his family, the highlight is the wonderful dog Thor! Readers will hope for an eventual reunion after the early hostility.

The author's impressive description of Enzo's opening anxiety, how his therapist opens new ways to understand and deal with it, and how his Murder Hornet resolutions evolve make the plot even more compelling.

An ongoing mystery is why Francisco could not save, though he made the same as his comrades, ANY money to send back to his family in the Philippines. Very sad.

This historical perspective, offered from many contrasting perspectives, showed American Filipinos with a choice between the never ending rampant racism of America cast against the horrors of Ferdinand Marcos.

(It would have been welcome to have less time travel between the men's lives for a less confusing sequential presentation.)… (more)