Family Abuse

I have to be honest, this is a tough book to read. Not because the writing isn't great (it is!) but it is the subject: a marriage that could have gone so right, instead has gone so wrong due to a violent temper.

Two people (Maddy and Ben) love each other, yet Ben's inability to control his temper over the years has worn thin the threads of what could've been a strong marriage. When a car accident puts Maddy in a position of fighting for her life, she also finds herself wondering if she has the strength to fight for her marriage that has been an endless walking-on-eggshells strain for years.

I've read all of this author's books, and her background knowledge and research in domestic violence helps bring this (tragic) story to life. ( )

I think verbal abuse happens all too often. The family struggle is real. ( )

I read "Accidents of Marriage" immediately after finishing Meyers' earlier book, "The Comfort of Lies." I was unimpressed with "The Comfort of Lies" but had bought both books together, unable to decide which storyline held more appeal, and since I thought I saw promise in the first, I went ahead with reading "Accidents of Marriage." I wish I had not wasted the time.

First and foremost, this book might as well be a continuation of "The Comfort of Lies." The setting is the same (right down to the specific neighborhoods in Boston, not even just the city itself), the characters are the same, and they're doing only very slightly different things. I honestly kept waiting for characters from "The Comfort of Lies" to make cameo appearances while shopping for groceries or something.

There are main characters in both books who do social work; everybody seems to live in Jamaica Plain, a neighborhood in Boston; all the women are using Xanax and other drugs inappropriately; both books flirt with religion, particularly mixed marriages; token bits of Jewish culture are thrown into both stories; the characters have complicated relationships with their parents that are mentioned, but never explored; gold filigree lockets (three different lockets) are mentioned between the two books; both books have a character named 'Caroline' being called 'Caro'; the same obscure children's book (The Family Nobody Wanted) was mentioned in BOTH books . . . I could go on and on. At one point in each book, the characters eat at restaurants that have amber drinking glasses. I don't think they're meant to be the same restaurant (though I guess they might have been, but that's a whole different complaint). How common is it really for restaurants to have amber stemware? I can't think of any restaurant I've ever been to (and I'm a foodie!) that had amber glasses. I couldn't decide if the author had just taken the common writers' advice to "write what you know" too literally or had difficulty remembering what she had previously written. In short, if you liked her first book, you'll probably love this one, since she's just put the same characters into a different situation.

As with her earlier work, Meyers' failed to bring her characters to life in this book. It is clear that she has them fully developed in her mind, but they don't come across the page for the reader. Often, she would reveal little facts about her characters in odd places. In the beginning of the book, Maddy, the protagonist (if she can be called that, since she spent a good third of the book in a coma) is portrayed as a typical working mom. There is mention of her making dinners, doing laundry, shuttling the kids to and from activities . . . and then, in one of the very last chapters, we learn that she never bakes (she cooks dinner, but not desserts apparently). This seems so incredibly odd to me (are there really people who cook, but NEVER bake anything?) and it is tossed into the story as though we already know this about Maddy. There are several other instances of this kind of detail being inserted haphazardly into the story far too late in the writing.

On page 272, we learn that Gracie, the youngest daughter, has become obsessed with fantastical stories since her mother's accident and that her grandmother can barely keep up with her desire to read them. This never comes across earlier in the book. In fact, there is no mention, ever, of Gracie reading anything magical, of her needing an "escape" she might get from fantasy, or of her grandmother buying her these books. Yet, the information is tossed in as if the readers should already know this about her. It's stranger still because there are similarly revealed bits of information about Gracie reading a biography of Florence Nightingale and she dresses as a nurse for Halloween. Either scenario is plausible--a little girl becoming obsessed with caretakers after her mother spends months in the hospital or, a little girl needing the escape a fantastical world could provide--but together, they seem to disagree with one another. After the first and only mention of the fantasy books, I was left thinking, 'wait, what? I thought Gracie was into nurses.'

There are numerous references to past events that have never been mentioned before. This is a common writer's tool and normally would provide needed backstory or ambiance to a scene, but the way in which they are spliced into this story is jarring. They always seem out of place, or as if they are meant to reference something we, the readers, already know about. For example, when Maddy is comatose, Ben talks to her about "anything he thought would reach her," specifically, "how they'd snuck into the bathroom to make love when they'd gone away for that week with her parents and all the kids." I think it's the use of "the" and "that." Instead, the sentence should be: "how they'd snuck into A bathroom to make love when they'd gone away for A week with her parents and all the kids." If it had been phrased in the latter way, it would be clear that the reader doesn't already know about this particular story. I could be nitpicking, but this kind of thing drives me crazy when I'm reading.

I wish I had known before starting this book that the majority of the story would not be narrated by Maddy, but by Ben (Maddy's husband) and their fourteen-year-old daughter, Emma. If I wanted to read a book from a fourteen-year-old's perspective, I would shop the young adult section. Other readers seemed to enjoy Emma, but I found her to be a whiny, entitled and utterly boring little brat. I was wholeheartedly disgusted when Meyers' chose to write her as a budding prescription drug addict. (Her initial foray into Ritalin was another item that was tossed into the story as if we should already know about it.)

I shouldn't have been surprised though, since the characters' in Meyers' last book also waxed poetic about the glories of prescription drugs (and alcohol). None can top Maddy, though, who keeps pill bottles stashed all over her house to make her feel "safe" in her mildly-abusive marriage. At one point near the end of the book, we're provided with a complete list of the drugs Maddy stashes: Ambien, Lorazepam, Valium, Klonopin, Xanax, Lunesta, Percoset, and Librium. I'm married to a pharmacist, who assures me that there really are people who take this many mood stabilizers and sedatives, but I found it wholly unbelievable (and disgusting). Meyers' writes about the bitter taste of Xanax with relish and her characters apparently need anti-anxiety meds to get through sex with their husbands . . . yet none of them end up divorced by the end of the book.

I found it particularly disturbing that only the women are written as drug-abusers. Is this what Meyers' thinks the average woman is like? Not all of us need to be heavily medicated to get through life. Nathan (from "The Comfort of Lies") and Ben both have reason to take anti-depressants and I'd almost support Ben in a decision to take something that would help with his unstable moods, but not one male character is written taking anything more serious than aspirin; the men don't even drink heavily.

Ben is a totally unlikable character and yet you're forced to experience at least half the story from his perspective. I think Meyers did a good job getting into his mindset and portraying the way he sees his side of every rant, but it didn't make him any more tolerable. Even though he's a successful lawyer, someone whose profession absolutely requires him to remain cool and reasonable under intense pressure, he's unable to control his temper at all when with his family. I'll touch more on his outbursts in a moment, but I wanted to point out that he is written throughout the book as being wildly mercurial. At first, I made notes of all the times he abruptly changed his mind/mood, (*SPOILER ALERT* For example: going from gazing lovingly at a picture of his wife to having an affair with an intern in the space of three paragraphs and, in one scene, mentions wanting desperately to be with his kids instead of at work, only to "happily" hand them off for the night to their grandparents a paragraph later) but after reviewing, I think perhaps the author did this intentionally, as a character trait. If so, it's actually quite well done.

In the earliest chapters of the book, Ben's worst outburst is described as an incident when he threw or kicked a bottle of liquid laundry detergent across a room, smashing it into a wall. Meyers' writes that Ben "scared himself" with that incident and afterward made small efforts to improve his temper. But, later in the book (actually peppered throughout the book) many more incidents are mentioned where his tantrums were far more severe and dangerous. He apparently punched their kitchen counter so hard that it cracked and had to be replaced; deliberately grabbed an heirloom of Maddy's and threw it across the room, shattering it; shakes Caleb (his youngest child) violently, to the point that Maddy had to intervene to protect her son; and also chases Emma (oldest daughter) through the house, yelling and ranting, because she broke a pen. How is the laundry detergent worse than these things, especially the child abuse?! I think Meyers' hadn't yet invented these other incidents in her mind when she wrote about the detergent and then failed to go back and correct that scene so that Maddy describes one of these, obviously more serious, tantrums as the "worst."

Other things that bothered me: Maddy professes to still love Ben while he is abusing her and his children (though not physically) and despite needing drugs to make love to him. I just don't buy that. It would have been better to write her afraid to leave/be on her own/"fail" at marriage, anything more plausible than believing she is still in love with him.

Gracie is constantly being called fat, even though she is described as being only mildly chubby or stocky. All the female characters are obsessed with their weight and fitness, while the men are described as "softening around the middle" and likewise. I hate that the author is further indoctrinating women with the belief that they must battle against every ounce gained while they're husbands can become comfortably pudgy without censure. Way to empower women and teach them to love their bodies!

Maddy's sister Vanessa is the worst cliche I think I have ever encountered in a book. She was absolutely obnoxious and the things she says/does would make more sense if she was the stereotypical catty "frenemy" rather than Maddy's allegedly-devoted sister.

I am something of a name nerd, so Meyers' naming choices bothered me a great deal, in both books. I could not stand the juxtaposition of super commonplace names like Maddy, Ben, Emma, Caleb, Gracie, Jake, Anne, Zach, from all of the main characters to obscure/unusual names like Vanessa, Ursula, and Melody. Ursula and Melody?! How do those two sibling names go together at all? The only connection seems to be an obscure reference to Disney's The Little Mermaid; in fact, I wouldn't be surprised if that is exactly where Meyers' came up with the names. I also absolutely hated that Maddy's best friend Kath is called only "Kath." Is she Katherine, Kathleen, Kathy? In my mind, it's fine to use nicknames in dialogue, or if the name is a plot element, but Kath was called exclusively by her nickname for no apparent reason. And, as I mentioned earlier, Meyers' seems to have a real love of the Carolines-called-Caro.

The investigation into the car accident was scattered through the pages in bits and snatches of conversation. I believe Meyers' wanted to build some suspense for her readers, hoping we might worry about whether or not Ben would be tried for driving to endanger. Instead, it came across as an afterthought and it dragged on far too long. (*SPOILER ALERT*) It was months after the accident that Ben found out the other driver was drunk, when, really, that would have come to light immediately after the accident. I thought the whole investigation was trumped-up drama, unnecessary to the plot, and Ben's easy escape from any culpability was likewise an easy escape for the author.

In short, this book is a far inferior effort to Meyer's earlier work, "The Comfort of Lies." I wouldn't recommend either book to anyone I know and I will never attempt reading another book written by the author. Again with this book, I think it's intended audience is the chick-lit reader who wants something with a little more depth and that is definitely not me. I also cannot help dreading anyone other than an American reading this book and feeling as though they have gained insight into American lives from it--dear lord, please let the rest of the world know that not all American women are like these characters!

Two stars because I managed to finish it, rather than tossing it aside. ( )

Accidents of Marriage by Randy Susan Meyers is a heart wrenching and insightful novel about the devastating effects of living with someone who is verbally abusive and prone to violent outbursts resulting from poor anger management. The consequences are oftentimes tragic and this eye-opening, poignant story is a timely reminder that anyone can become a victim of domestic violence.

Maddy and Ben are juggling the demands of parenthood with demanding, high stress careers. Maddy, a social worker, is the main caregiver of the couple's three children, fourteen year old Emma, nine year old Gracie and seven year old Caleb. She is wrung out and exhausted by trying to keep up with household duties, the kid's frenetic schedules and her emotionally draining job. Maddy is always on edge, waiting to find out which version of Ben is going to return home each night: will it be the loving and devoted husband? Or will it be the derisive, condescending husband whose verbal abuse often ends in physical, violent explosions of anger? After a couple of days that are more stressful than normal, Ben's anger boils over into road rage that results in a horrible car accident that leaves Maddy in a coma. The doctors are cautiously optimistic about her eventual recovery, but in the meantime, the family slowly disintegrates under the stresses of everyday life and the terrible uncertainty of Maddy's future.

As a social worker, no one knows the warming signs of abusive relationships better than Maddy, but it is amazing how blinded she is to Ben's destructive behavior. She makes excuses, blames herself and carefully censors herself in an effort to keep from provoking his temper. She goes so far as to point out that he has an anger management problem and provides him with information to try to help his anger under control. Maddy has moments of introspection where she admits that he has problems but instead of taking the advice she gives her clients, she never seriously considers leaving him.

Ben is a self-centered narcissist who bullies and belittles Maddy into compliance. Although they both have fulltime careers, Ben deems his the most important and he refuses to help Maddy manage the children's hectic schedules or take on any household responsibilities. Ben works long hours and despite his frequent absences, he is hypercritical of Maddy's parenting decisions. He is incapable of accepting responsibility for his actions and in the aftermath of the car accident, Ben repeatedly downplays his role in the accident.

Ben and Maddy's children are the unintended victims of their parents' dysfunctional relationship but the extent of the damage is not seen until after the accident. As the oldest, Emma is forced into taking care of her younger siblings and household duties while Maddy is in the hospital. She loves Gracie and Caleb, but as the days stretch into weeks, she is resentful of the responsibility she shoulders and she begins looking for relief from the unending stress in all the wrong places. Poor Gracie and Caleb are lonely, confused and scared as they try to understand the drama unfolding around them.

Accidents of Marriage is an emotionally compelling family drama that is raw, gritty and breathtakingly realistic. The characters are well-drawn with all too human flaws and imperfections. The storyline is absolutely heartbreaking but Randy Susan Meyers deftly handles difficult topics with an amazing amount of sensitivity. A riveting and highly complex novel that I highly recommend. ( )

I thought this was a pretty good story involving a husband with severe anger management issues, his wife who uses pills to cope with the situation, and 3 vulnerable kids affected by it all. Based on this one, I'll probably check out this author's other books. ( )

I received an ARC through Goodreads.
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For the most part I enjoyed reading this book. It was interesting to see things from Maddy, Ben and Emma's point of view.

An interesting story of how one accident changed the lives of everyone. You can feel the characters lash out, their emotional state of mind and struggling to come to terms with everything. Emotional abuse and what is borderline physical assault is what Ben regularly dishes out, leaving Maddy and the family to tip toe around him, before and for the most part after the accident. Maddy as a social worker usually deal with similar situations at work yet she shuts her eye at what is happening in her own home, thinking that it's just a one time thing and he's still a good man.

One thing I didn't like was how one dimensional and forgettable most of the secondary characters are. Like we are suddenly introduced to the extended family and I keep getting the characters mixed up because they aren't memorable.

Another thing, while we do get to see both Maddy and Ben's side of the story, I didn't like either of them. Actually for the most part I didn't like Ben's character much at all, he started off as a little egotistical but busy and somewhat decent guy...until his anger surfaced. And Maddy, she seems like a lovely person trying to help her clients/patients out while trying to keep harmony at home, but I didn't like how docile she was and passive around Ben. After the accident though, I did feel for her and liked her better while she tried hard to make progress with her recovery.

I did like how the ending wasn't a total cliche. Of course I want Maddy and Ben to stay married after everything that they have been through, but I totally understand and applaud Maddy for making a stand and wanting Ben to actually work on his anger management and focus more on others not just solely on himself and also for wanting to be independent on working towards getting herself back on her feet What happens after the book ends, leaves us the readers to decide, but I like that a glimmer of hope exists for the family. ( )

Magnificent! Meyers writes superbly, weaving together so tightly the fabric of the Illica's lives that we feel every moment of anxiety, pressure and stress, until it explodes in a caustic accident that will forever change the threads of this family. Throughout Maddy's experience and recovery, Meyers meets us with suspense, heartbreak, humor and hope. She takes these paradoxical elements, along with an under-explored topic, and blends them so naturally that the vivacity of the family members shines through in an amazing novel. Do not miss this one! ( )

This was my first book by Randy Susan Meyers and it was excellent. It’s about Maddy, a social worker with a husband, children and career, and her husband, Ben, a public defender, who is controlling and, I think, verbally abusive. He punches things, but not his family, luckily. Maddy does not share her family drama and most people think they have the perfect marriage. The book is about the lies and secrets in this family. I think Maddy is in denial, even though her work deals with abusive relationships! The book goes back and forth between the two of them and their 14-year old daughter, Emma – told in the three different points of view of what is happening. Maddy takes pills to deal with her husband’s moods and Emma is starting to act out, as her way of coping.

One day Maddy and Ben are in the car together (he’s driving) and it’s raining and they get in an argument and, due to Ben’s road rage, they are involved in a horrible accident. Ben is injured but basically okay, but Maddy ends up in a coma with a brain injury. Ben is devastated and guilty and tries to change his ways and devotes his time and energy to Maddy. Meanwhile, his children (there are also two younger ones), especially Emma, are suffering, and Emma’s narrations are heart-wrenching over how she is affected by all that has happened and is happening.

This book is emotional, thought-provoking, sad, hopeful, real, contemporary, and so well-written. It would be a good book club discussion book. I was not expecting the ending, but it was perfect. This book will stay with me for a while, I am sure.
( )

This was my first book by Randy Susan Meyers and it was excellent. It’s about Maddy, a social worker with a husband, children and career, and her husband, Ben, a public defender, who is controlling and, I think, verbally abusive. He punches things, but not his family, luckily. Maddy does not share her family drama and most people think they have the perfect marriage. The book is about the lies and secrets in this family. I think Maddy is in denial, even though her work deals with abusive relationships! The book goes back and forth between the two of them and their 14-year old daughter, Emma – told in the three different points of view of what is happening. Maddy takes pills to deal with her husband’s moods and Emma is starting to act out, as her way of coping.

One day Maddy and Ben are in the car together (he’s driving) and it’s raining and they get in an argument and, due to Ben’s road rage, they are involved in a horrible accident. Ben is injured but basically okay, but Maddy ends up in a coma with a brain injury. Ben is devastated and guilty and tries to change his ways and devotes his time and energy to Maddy. Meanwhile, his children (there are also two younger ones), especially Emma, are suffering, and Emma’s narrations are heart-wrenching over how she is affected by all that has happened and is happening.

This book is emotional, thought-provoking, sad, hopeful, real, contemporary, and so well-written. It would be a good book club discussion book. I was not expecting the ending, but it was perfect. This book will stay with me for a while, I am sure.
( )

This was my first book by Randy Susan Meyers and it was excellent. It’s about Maddy, a social worker with a husband, children and career, and her husband, Ben, a public defender, who is controlling and, I think, verbally abusive. He punches things, but not his family, luckily. Maddy does not share her family drama and most people think they have the perfect marriage. The book is about the lies and secrets in this family. I think Maddy is in denial, even though her work deals with abusive relationships! The book goes back and forth between the two of them and their 14-year old daughter, Emma – told in the three different points of view of what is happening. Maddy takes pills to deal with her husband’s moods and Emma is starting to act out, as her way of coping.

One day Maddy and Ben are in the car together (he’s driving) and it’s raining and they get in an argument and, due to Ben’s road rage, they are involved in a horrible accident. Ben is injured but basically okay, but Maddy ends up in a coma with a brain injury. Ben is devastated and guilty and tries to change his ways and devotes his time and energy to Maddy. Meanwhile, his children (there are also two younger ones), especially Emma, are suffering, and Emma’s narrations are heart-wrenching over how she is affected by all that has happened and is happening.

This book is emotional, thought-provoking, sad, hopeful, real, contemporary, and so well-written. It would be a good book club discussion book. I was not expecting the ending, but it was perfect. This book will stay with me for a while, I am sure.
( )

I really liked the idea of this book, but in practice I found it much less emotionally moving than similar books I've read recently (Five Days Left, for example). Like Five Days Left, Accidents of Marriage shows some of the frustrations associated with disabilities caused by disease or injury. I think that makes both of these books very worthwhile reminders to be patient with others. Also, although these kind of events might feel emotionally manipulative to some, I'm a sucker for books where people try to find happiness despite such challenges. However, in Accidents of Marriage, I didn't feel we got to see Maddy changing in response to her injury. It's clear that to go on would have required great strength of character given the challenges Maddy faces. From what we get to see, though, it seems as if most of the changes in her life are precipitated by the accident. There's very little of Maddy choosing to make changes on her own.

Another thing that bothered me was Ben's character. I was excited that we also got his perspective and hoped it would add some complexity to the story, but even from Ben's perspective, he has no redeeming qualities. This meant that I spent a lot of the book stressing that he might become physically violent and that Maddy might forgive him for everything. I would rather have felt emotionally invested in their relationship. It would have been nice to see why it was so hard for Maddy to realize that Ben's behavior was unacceptable and to empathize with why she feel in love with him in the first place. Despite these shortcomings, this was a very enjoyable read. The plot was my kind of plot, the writing was beautiful, and some of the challenges Maddy and her children faced were very moving. I just would have liked to see more character growth from Maddy and less pure evil from Ben.This review was originally posted on Doing Dewey. ( )

Yep, this just scrapes in at 4-star for me. Maybe it should be 3.75 stars. It seems to be definitely a cut above the standard American women's fiction genre....or whatever similar category you want to place it. On the negative side, I'd say that some of (all of?) the characters are a little leaning towards stereotypes, but I reckon Meyers does manage to give them enough reality that the story makes a unique contribution. Let's face it, American family life and threat to it is a well-trod path, and it's very hard to say something new. However I do think Meyers' focus on the 'accident' theme is an insightful perspective. I was very worried that she was going to finish the story in the worst possible way (i.e marriage is restored, they all live happily ever after) but Meyers also avoids that commercial imperative to just enough of an extent to leave both me moderately satisfied, and also her publisher hearing the distinctive sound of cash registers ringing up sales. I'm certainly not putting Randy Susan Meyers on my 'favorites' list, but having been somewhat disappointed with another of her works (The Comfort of Lies), I am happy enough to leave her third book (The Murderer's Daughters) on my To Read list. ( )

I loved this book. ( )

I liked this "domestic thriller" after it got rolling. The beginning - two parents, two jobs, three kids - fairly typical. The aftermath of a devastating car accident brings high drama and dudgeon. Husband and wife have been basically stumbling along the highway to stressful hell, as long time, settled marriages will do -until the husband's selfish actions finally topple the shaky house of cards.

Particularly well written are the sections from the PoV of the teenage daughter. The wife and husband's inner monologues are also true to the situation. Siblings and in-laws complete the picture of what could absolutely happen down the block of a white middle class neighborhood, yours or mine, if you live a suburban life like mine.

A good read with a satisfyingly open-ended conclusion. ( )

This one is a good one and the book kept my interest from the beginning! It is not always an easy read, but it is a good read. I chose to read this book because I had previously read and enjoyed The Murderer’s Daughters by the same author. While I enjoyed that one, I can say without hesitation that I enjoyed this one so much more!

Maddy and Ben have been married long enough to be settled into their marriage and to take each other for granted. Maddy is a social worker working full time and Ben is an attorney. With three children, one of them a young teen, things are not always easy and when Ben is stressed, he is not a pleasant person to be around. He has a temper and at times his anger is abusive. Emma, the oldest child, sees the effect this has on her mother and is resentful. Ben’s anger leads to tragedy, and Maddy ends up in the hospital with her survival in question. The rest of the book follows the struggles the family faces while watching Maddy fight for her life. It would be very easy to give some spoilers here, so I’m not going to say anymore about the actual storyline.

I really liked the way the story was told in alternating points of view, with each chapter giving voice to a different character. This is not a new technique but it is very effective in this book. I particularly liked the character of Anne, Maddy’s mother, and the way she interacted with both Ben and her grandchildren. This is a story about our capacity to forgive, and Anne is a big believer in forgiveness. One thing I didn’t like so much was the ending. It felt more like a ‘to be continued’ with the reader as the one responsible for continuing the story. That will not bother most readers, but if you read here much, you know I like nice neat endings. Truly though, that doesn’t take away from the story or how much I liked the book. If you enjoy reading about family drama, pick this one up. You won’t be sorry you did!

I received a review copy of this book through the Goodreads First Reads program in return for an honest review.

This review originally appeared on my blog, Time 2 Read. ( )

Very good book ( )

A special thank you to Atria Books and NetGalley for a complimentary ARC.

Randy Susan Myers’ ACCIDENTS OF MARRIAGE, a bittersweet account of a complex marriage relationship, derailed by dishonesty, emotional abuse, and rage—A tragedy forces one dysfunctional family to reexamine their lives, face their fears, and accept responsibility for their actions, before healing can begin.

The Illica Boston family is a ticking time bomb waiting to ignite. (A broken corporation, Illica Sucks, Inc). The pressure mounts daily and has built up with fifteen years of crap. Something has to happen in order for a change to occur and release the pressure.

Maddy, a social worker, a busy wife and mother, is trying to balance her career, and three children (Emma 14, Gracie 9, Caleb 7), while taking pills in order to cope, and live with Ben, her high strung, angry, controlling, verbally and emotionally abusive narcissistic husband. Brilliant, handsome and charming, Ben could turn into a raging bull when crossed—and despite her training as a social worker Maddy is never sure what would set him off on a rampage.

A family turns into competitions for time, daily emotional battles, and aggressive behavior. As the pressures mount, and tempers flare, shattered dreams erupt for a final explosion—as it trickles down, even to the children’s behavior and reactions—an accident driven by a short fuse, forces this family to face the truths, where nothing will be the same, with devastating consequences. When recovery means more than just facing physical injuries, and a marriage becomes too broken to be repaired.

Told from three different POVs (Maddy, Ben, Emma), Myers creates a poignant, and compelling detailed account of an ordinary family, and its downward spiral—for a heartbreaking tale with well-developed, flawed and realistic characters. Filled with intensity, a deeply moving gripping story; a psychological look inside this family tragedy —with great insight into the human complexities of life, written with compassion, while laced with wit and humor, for an engaging page-turner!

This was my first book by Randy Susan Myers’, and enjoyed her sharp writing style and look forward to reading her previous books! Fans of Jane Green, Amy Hatvany, Lisa Genova, Diane Chamberlain, and Liane Moriarty will enjoy this thought-provoking family drama of love unraveled, and life’s messiness.

Quotes I liked:

“The ideal man. Bears the accidents of life with. Dignity and grace. Making the best of circumstances. That’s Aristotle. I copied it. From Zelda’s office. I so wanted to be. Dignified and graceful. But now I know. How could I? I didn’t have an accident. Of life. It was. An accident of marriage.“

“We can’t be waiting for someone to hand us respect, for a man to make us feel good, as though we’re puppies waiting to have our bellies patted. Happiness comes from a whole lotta different places. A man’s love is just one piece of that huge cake. And even harder? You gotta bake that damn cake yourself.”

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This was a solid 3-star book for me. I liked it, but wanted more. Liane Moriarity, one of my new favorite authors for her wit and willingness to tackle difficult subject matter, endorsed this book as "one of those rare novels that is both unputdownable and unforgettable." At no point did I want to abandon the book, but I don't expect this story to stick with me over time. Not surprisingly, however, this book resonated strongly with my mother and I read it at her recommendation. About two years ago, our family dealt with the impact of an unexpected accident that also led to an injury similar to Maddy's and it was my mother who was the initial sole caregiver in that situation. To this day, the effects of that accident can still be felt in our family. I suspect it was the middle that was so emotionally touching for my mother - as it was for me: that excruciating time of "not knowing" while Maddy was in the hospital and then Maddy's unpredictable behavior after her initial return home. Unfortunately, the husband's pattern of verbal abuse, and the reaction of the family, didn't seem as convincing (or important) to me and I think that was supposed to be the meat of the story. ( )

I found myself emotionally involved in the relationship between Maddy and Ben in this new book by the fantastic writer Randy Susan Meyers. Myers really delivered again with Accidents of Marriage. I love books like this one that allow me to see behind the doors of a home an into the lives of a family. What a great examination of a marriage! A very flawed relationship that was hard to understand at times...but Myers handled it all very well. ( )

The issue of domestic violence is at the forefront of many conversations today, in part due to the horrific video of Baltimore Ravens player Ray Rice knocking his fiancee out with a punch. Randy Susan Myers' timely novel Accidents of Marriage investigates what happens when a man who loses his temper too frequently finally loses control and it costs those he loves a great deal.

Maddie is a social worker married to Ben, a public defender celebrated for his passion and intelligence in his work. He is looked up to by his colleagues and worshipped by his female intern. But Ben has a terrible temper, one that only his wife and three children- 14 year-old Emma, 9 year-old Gracie and 7 year-old Caleb- have seen up close.

Ben verbally abuses his family and they live in fear of his outbursts, where he occasionally throws plates crashing into the wall. The slightest thing out of the ordinary- dirty dishes in the sink, clothes on the floor- send him into an uncontrollable rage.

Funny thing about people who say they can't control their rage; they seem to be able to control it just fine at the office. They never scream at colleagues or clients; they save that for their family.

Maddie has to call Ben to pick her up when her car gets towed for having an expired registration. Ben is late for a meeting, furious at Maddie for not taking care of the registration, and on a rain soaked road, he gets into a road rage incident and while speeding has an accident that leaves Maddie fighting for her life.

Ben is injured, but Maddie is in a coma. Her family, her parents and sister Vanessa, who doesn't like Ben, are all there. The children are there too, but they are not allowed in the ICU area, so the three young children are in a separate waiting area- all alone.

That really bugged me. There are several adults waiting, any one of whom could have gone and sat with these frightened children, who had no idea what was going on with their mother. The judgement of the adults in this situation left me dumbfounded. How could no one comfort those children?

The story is told from three perspectives; Maddie, Ben and Emma all get to tell their stories. It is heartbreaking to see this family torn apart, and difficult to see Maddie try and put her life together after a serious traumatic brain injury. She has to start from the beginning and learn how to do everything from walking to talking to cooking, and her frustration comes through clearly on the page.

Much of the day-to-day care of the house and the other children is left to Emma. Poor Emma gets overlooked, and so much is dumped into her lap, again without the adults thinking about how she is doing. I felt most deeply for Emma.

Meyers does a wonderful job making us feel what this family is going through. Ben still has his anger issues, Maddie is trying to pick up the pieces of her life and figure out just what happened, and the children are struggling too. There is no miracle cure for Maddie, she must fight everyday and it exhausts her.

The characters are realistic, and some even unlikable (and not just Ben, I didn't like Vanessa either). The Wednesday Blues Club, made up of women who live with domestic violence in their lives, is a support group that Maddie started in her job and when she returns after her injury, she has a new understanding and it causes her to rethink her own life choices.

Accidents of Marriage is a terrific book club pick; there are so many meaty things to discuss in this book. ( )

The many ways we use unhealthy ways or not to justify what we do in order to make our relationships work. Maddy is a social worker herself, mother to three children, loves her husband Ben but has made many excuses for him on why his temper is allowed to rule so much. Until the day when all the excuses no longer matter.

I give the author much credit, she did not follow the happily ever after party line but instead gives the reader a no holds barred look at a family in crisis. The devastating effect on the children, and I so loved every single one of them, the long difficult road of recovery, of a family forever defined by what came before and what came after. A hard look at personal responsibility and how hard it is to change. Always there is hope though, it can be done, things will be hard, but it is possible to grab at a new healthy normal.

ARC from publisher. ( )

I am a yeller. When I get mad, and I can really get mad, I tend to shout, rant, and rave. I recognize this about myself and have tried very hard over the years to release my anger more productively. I don't know if it's worked entirely but I certainly hope I have a better handle on my anger than Ben in Randy Susan Meyers' newest novel, Accidents of Marriage does on his.

Ben, a public defense lawyer, has an explosive temper and his family tiptoes around him, never knowing what is going to set him off. His wife Maddy, a social worker, takes prescription pills every day to take the edge off, to keep her own emotions under wraps for fear of triggering his, and to blunt the effect of his irrational eruptions. All three of the Illica children, Emma, Gracie, and Caleb, know that their father is extremely volatile and try not to provoke him either. Even when Ben isn't home, incidents like breaking a glass are weighed in light of his probable reaction. Theirs is not a terribly happy home. And it's about to get even worse.

On a day when both Ben and Maddy have work commitments and things are already fraught between them because of the kids' schedules, Maddy gets pulled over and her car is towed for an expired registration. She calls Ben to rescue her from a rough part of town, which he grudgingly does. Then, because he is late, rushing, and angry, he gets caught in a driving contest with another driver on the wet Boston roads, losing control of the car in the pouring rain and crashing. Maddy is thrown from the car and ends up in a coma with a traumatic brain injury. If the days of waiting to see if Maddy would come out of the coma were tough, life afterwards is even tougher. Fourteen year old Emma has to take charge of her younger siblings, shouldering more responsibility than a young teenager should have to do, and feeling the injustice of every moment of it. Ben has to adjust to the wife who needs so much more than he's ever given her before and to his own slowly dawning understanding of his own culpability in the whole situation. Maddy is frustrated with her own slow progress and furious with blame as she tries to understand the kind of life that she wants to lead going forward.

Ben, Maddy, and Emma all narrate sections of the novel, giving the reader insight into their personal understandings of the situation. Ben is likely to flare up at anything and he is definitely emotionally abusive but it is also made clear by the time we spend in his head that he does in fact love Maddy even if he doesn't acknowledge his own anger management issues. Maddy has so deadened herself in dealing with Ben's rages that she is teaching her children the wrong thing and when she finds out the truth about the accident that changed her life forever, she has some big decisions to make. Each of the three main characters is quite complex, neither entirely good nor entirely bad, allowing the reader to want this family to improve, for Ben's desire to change to be real, and for them to heal the gaping cracks. The pacing is generally slow and measured, much like Maddy's own recovery, sometimes slower and sometimes more accelerated. The end of the novel seems a bit abrupt and unfinished, again much like Maddy's recovery. But the portions about Maddy's injury and how she is healing, what her particular traumatic brain injury means in terms of now and the future is rather fascinating, and that it gives her the chance to remember, see, and own her past reality without a chemical veil obscuring everything brings the story to its climax. This is a thought-provoking family drama about injuries, physical and emotional, and whether or not a wreck is worth salvaging even if that wreck is your marriage and family ( )

Accidents of Marriage by Randy Susan Meyers is about the destructive impact of one person's anger on his entire family day by day by day and how it alters their life completely in one explosive moment. Unfortunately, with one main character who is not likable and one who is hard to connect to, I enjoyed the story but did not fall in love with it.

Read my complete review at: http://www.memoriesfrombooks.com/2014/08/accidents-of-marriage.html

Reviewed based on a publisher’s galley received through NetGalley ( )

This is the first book I have read by this author. The topic intrigued me as I have some experience with people with anger management issues. I liked the style of writing—easy to read, nice flow. The main characters were well-developed. Some of the supporting characters were less developed but still fairly well written. The alternating perspectives of Maddy, Ben, and Emma were easy to follow. You could easily get the sense of what each of these characters were having to deal with in the aftermath of the accident. Maddy was fighting for survival. Her frustration at not being able to function as she had was readily apparent. Ben had to deal with his guilt of causing the accident in the first place. Then his loyalties to his family were tested. Emma was a young teen girl forced to put her life on hold in order to care for her younger siblings. Her resentment was appropriate. The younger siblings Gracie and Caleb were well-portrayed, in my opinion. Then, of course, there were the meddling in-laws. I am not sure the interfaith marriage angle added much to the story. The part I had difficulty accepting was how Ben had such an anger management problem but then seemed to be “cured” by his guilt over the accident. Someone who can get as violent as him does not just suddenly start controlling his/her temper without help. Overall though, it was a good read. ( )