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| B07SBRKD49
| 3.84
| 4,339
| Feb 25, 2020
| Feb 25, 2020
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liked it
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My Selling Pitch: Do you want an easy read crime procedural? Pre-reading: I enjoyed the first procedural in this series enough to continue. Thick of it: I My Selling Pitch: Do you want an easy read crime procedural? Pre-reading: I enjoyed the first procedural in this series enough to continue. Thick of it: Is she a cam girl? A catfish man? (Samantha, would you give the book a page before you start trying to guess it.) I’m assuming he’s a laptop repair man and he put malware on her computer so he could spy on her and she’s never actually invited him to look at her. (50%) Oh, he’s a teacher…is she underage? (Nope.) I immediately don’t trust Michael or the church date. (Settle down.) And I immediately don’t trust the cabby. He was alone with her for 11 minutes and he prolonged the ride? For why? (This is not Sherlock, relax.) If someone’s keys go missing in the apartment it sounds like someone in the complex is stealing them to spy on people’s rooms. We know Felix and Angela are there, but who else? They're both def not the murderer. This one is pretty boring so far. I can’t imagine biking to a dinner date. Okay, so it’s a pretty normal age gap. So as part of the divorce contract, put it in writing that she gets half. There’s no reason you have to stay married to get her inheritance. That’s so stupid. Cheaters are fucking scum. There’s a cab driver again. I’m so suspicious. (So unfounded, Samantha.) IT IS WRONG. She wasn't wearing makeup at home so you’re justified in fucking a 20-year-old student. The audacity of men. I mean, it reads like a good TV crime drama. It’s just like I’m not that invested. I wonder if Victor was having an affair with Greta and he learned about the husband so then Greta knew about the husband cheating? It’s a frame job between Victor and the wife and they planted his fingerprint (Nearly.) This is a grown man crying because he can’t have his cake and eat it too. Fuck him so much. It’s not gonna be something lame like Aidan is also Isaac, is it? I feel like he’s def fucking Maeve too. Her art vandalism feels very church ragey. (Nailed it.) He is such a scumbag! If not Felix, she had to have been taking care of the Isaac guy, right? (Wrong!) I mean, it would be a juicy TV episode. It’s just a little bit boring for a book because I think I’ve figured it out and we don’t have the investigators’ subplots carrying this book. They’re just kind of thrown in when we don’t know how to continue. Awareness of the cameras in the apartment indicates you live there or at least have been there a considerable amount. I’m assuming the girl he helped was Angela? (Oh lol very wrong. I was multitasking reading this, but I don’t think we ever found out why she was so messy?) Wow, I’m just wrong all over the place with this book. (She got all the red herring plotlines wrong, but she nailed whodunnit so-) Oh man, so the cat was missing before she was killed. Someone had already gone into her apartment. (I like how we never find out where the cat was but no one questions it because it’s a cat.) It’s the wif. Like they told us that in the beginning. It’s always the partner. I did a really bad job taking notes for the unhinged summary of this but like it’s just a police procedural. Do you really need more than the gist of whodunnit? I'm not chasing down all the red herrings, ya know? Do you know how frustrating it is to have it be midnight before I have to open in the morning, and I’m like I can’t put the book down? I’ve only got 10% left. I need to know that I’m right. Confirm I'm the best detective. I told you it was the wife. Literally I’ve been saying all book that she had an affair with the friend who was in love with Zoe, and she figured if she killed Zoe and framed her husband she could get the money and her mans. (Wrong mans to be getting, you lunatic.) He is literally just a guy. Hit him with your car! Imagine knowing someone is actively cheating on you and sticking his dick elsewhere and still wanting that in you. Girl, ew. I’m not saying good for her, but good for her. I just wish she wasn’t in love with this dude because he sucks. That’s a weird little ending to this book. We’re so proud of her! Mama, your daughter was knowingly fucking a married man. C’mon. Post-reading: These are just solid little procedurals. They read just like a Criminal Minds or Bones episode. The investigators have subtle personal drama throughlines. The cases are basic and easy enough to figure out whodunnit without being so obvious that you're tearing your hair out waiting for the characters to catch up to you. Nothing life changing, but if you want some smooth brain crime fiction, this’ll do. Who should read this: Crime procedural girlies Revenge thriller girlies Do I want to reread this: Nah, but I'll continue the series Similar books: * Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn-OG revenge thriller * Speak of the Devil by Rose Wilding-ensemble cast, revenge thriller, crime procedural * You Can Run by Rebecca Zanetti-generic procedural, family drama * The Butterfly Garden by Dot Huchison-serial killer crime procedural ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Jul 2024
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Jul 08, 2024
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Jul 01, 2024
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Kindle Edition
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| 3.75
| 13,227
| Jan 08, 2019
| Jan 08, 2019
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liked it
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My Selling Pitch: Do you want a generic procedural that’ll play like a crime drama in your head? Whodunit is real obvious from the get-go, but it's st My Selling Pitch: Do you want a generic procedural that’ll play like a crime drama in your head? Whodunit is real obvious from the get-go, but it's still an enjoyable reading experience. Pre-reading: I got sent the fifth book in this series, so I figured I’d at least try book one. Thick of it: I will not tolerate this Barbie slander! He is Kenough! Lightman Hanson romance? (Ask me again in a few books.) Can you talk to minors without a social worker or a parent present? That doesn’t seem correct. (Do you care? Do you want a cozy mystery or not?) Why are we spending so much time on this family and possibly their backstory unless they’re guilty? This reads a lot like a TV show pilot. I feel like it's gonna be a rape cover-up murder. Brett did it because the jock’s always the rapist, and Coralie’s the pick me in love with him that’ll help him. Or if it’s not rape, Coralie did it because she’s jealous. (Guys, I swear I open books.) The way they keep emphasizing her assumed identity, I’m now suspicious that it’s really her. (And the book was immediately like lol my bad. Dental confirms it’s her for suresies.) Did they just say he pimps his wife out? I always want a cheeseburger. Goddamn cozies. I know teenagers have sex lives, but I don’t like when grown adults are thinking about said teenagers' sex lives like oh, they’re such little sluts, and they were so hot. They controlled the school because they were pretty. Like ew. Fucking ew. They’re 16. Chill. Actually, she’s 15 and baby girlypop is 14. Siddown. This is not an episode of Skins. This is good. Lots of balls in the air. This audiobook is also really good. Oh, did she see Jonah meet up with them in the woods? Was he trying to flirt with Topaz? But I thought he was going to be into the skater girl, JoJo. Like that’s gotta be his series love interest, no? (Everyone in this book has the dumbest names.) Is JoJo the sports guy’s landscaper? Coralie is def in love with Topaz. It’s formulaic. It’s generic but well done. We’re keeping it moving. We’ve got enough balls in the air. We’ve got subplots for our investigators. We’re red-herring it up. It’s just well done. I’m enjoying it, even if I do think I’ve opened it and guessed the ending. It’s very 13 Reasons Why. Haha, Spencer Reiding him. Oh, did he and Michelle break up because she had a miscarriage? That’s cliché and overdone. I know CID is criminal investigation department, but I work at a restaurant so I just keep reading candle in dessert. Detritus sin Hell yeah, Secret History. I was thinking of it this whole time. I’m so glad they acknowledged that. I still wanna know what was in the bag Topaz had and what happened to Aurora’s book. (We dropped those plot points.) We’re like so distinctly not talking about Coralie that like she has to be a villain. Ew, my dude. The absolute slut shaming and blaming we’re placing on girl CHILDREN. Is Brett continuing an affair with Coralie in London and cheating on his wife Anna? (Big yup.) I really hope she was not alive in the hidey hole and had just gone in there to get warm and they murdered her when they caved it in. Yeah, you did fail her. It’s really easy not to fuck children. It’s like so easy. Is she Brett’s gardener? Like are we gonna come back to that? Hopefully, it’s not some left-field plot twist and JoJo‘s brother. I like Juliette. She doesn’t seem like she’s a dumb bitch, so why is she entertaining this ex-boyfriend? These cozies always make me fucking hungry. I mean, Benners is the one who gave her the second orange juice, but I don’t think it’s him. During Pride? That’d be homophobic lol. I mean, it’s Brett, right? He saw her when he was covering up the hole. He encouraged her to drink. He wanted to fuck her from chapter one. Am I being dumb? It’s just so obvious that I’m sus. I’m like who brings a knife to a gunfight and then I remembered they’re in the UK and not America, so their police don’t have guns. This is a boring reveal. I clocked him from page one. Oh, this is a debut? Good job, girlie. Post-reading: Just a solid little crime thriller. It’s not doing anything new. It is cliché as fuck, but it’s cinematic and enjoyable to read. It’s well-paced. The characters are generic and familiar, but they’re comforting archetypes. The book does a good job of giving the investigators their own subplots to carry the series. There’s enough lies and coverups to keep it interesting. I think the crime is incredibly obvious. I read a lot, so I’m usually pretty good at figuring out whodunnit, but this was a cakewalk. If that turns you off of a mystery, I don’t blame you. I think this book has enough extra going on that you’re still interested in watching the characters chase down the red herrings, so it’s not painful to read even if you guess the ending. I’m not sure what else to add. It’s exactly what you want from the genre. It’s a cozy, easy read, and it’s like watching junk TV in your head. Who should read this: Procedural girlies Do I want to reread this: No, but I’d continue the series Similar books: * The Naturals by Jennifer Lynn Barnes-YA Criminal Minds * Speak of the Devil by Rose Wilding-generic crime thriller, ensemble cast * Five Survive by Holly Jackson-YA thriller, ensemble cast * A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder by Holly Jackson-YA crime thriller * You Can Run by Rebecca Zanetti-generic crime thriller * The Butterfly Garden by Dot Hutchison-crime thriller, ensemble cast * The Secret History by Donna Tartt-honorable mention for being the OG privileged school kids cover-up a murder book ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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May 24, 2024
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Jun 22, 2024
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May 24, 2024
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Kindle Edition
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| 1662523335
| 9781662523335
| B0CRJGKXBS
| 3.15
| 21,752
| May 01, 2024
| May 01, 2024
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liked it
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Thank you to Amazon First Reads, Netgalley, and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Golden Girls Thank you to Amazon First Reads, Netgalley, and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Golden Girls meets The Thursday Murder Club for a short little dialogue-heavy snippet with publishing industry and cancel culture commentary. Pre-reading: I just read Thirst, so let’s read Cut and Thirst. It is probably a crime that I haven’t read The Handmaid‘s Tale yet. I have not seen good things about this short story on socials. Thick of it: It immediately gives Golden Girls Myrna’s a cunt lol Hello princeling It’s reminding me of The Thursday Murder Club. I could be happy with coffee and reading the slush pile. I love the slush pile. confreres Is this just an old bitch laments cancel culture because I’ll have thoughts. (It’s not, but I saw so many negative reviews that I was prepping for the worst.) salvo This is getting bad reviews, but I’m live, laugh, loving. They are such complete and distinct characters so quickly. AND it’s gossipy about the publishing world, and I’m always into that. Title drop Post-reading: This was so cute! It’s a quick little wet-your-whistle of a story. The characters are immediately familiar and have distinct voices. They’re flawed and charming. It’s got enough kick with its gossipy bits about the publishing industry, academia, and cancel culture. The dialogue was zippy and believable. Just a fabulous little snippet. I don’t think there’s enough plot for it to get into four-star territory, but it’s a solid little piece. It’s nothing I would go out of my way to read, but if you’re getting it for free anyway, it’s worth your 20 minutes. Who should read this: Character Study fans Old People are cute readers Bookish industry commentary fans Fredrik Backman fans Do I want to reread this: No, but would def read more by the author Similar books: * The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman-ensemble cast, old people are cute schtick, cozy thriller * A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman-ensemble cast, old people are cute schtick, contemporary * Anxious People by Fredrik Backman-ensemble cast, bouncy narrative voice, contemporary * We Are Too Many by Hannah Pittard-contemporary, story told only through dialogue * The Secret Life of Albert Entwistle by Matt Caine-wannabe Ove * Book Lovers by Emily Henry-cozy romance, publishing industry commentary ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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May 07, 2024
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May 07, 2024
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May 07, 2024
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Kindle Edition
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| 031657029X
| 9780316570299
| B0BTZ2N4B8
| 4.08
| 20,763
| May 16, 2022
| May 23, 2023
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liked it
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Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read an unserious i Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read an unserious instalove monster romance that isn’t quite satire? She’s a romp. Pre-reading: I both love and hate these covers. Thick of it: One of us, one of us. Kindle Unlimited is a cult, I swear. Anything you read, I’ll do to you when you get home!!! All us book girlies are exactly the same. Rom coms love toilet humor. I love the pirate captain and her hyena. I can’t wait for her book. G spot sin This is me absolutely nitpicking, but I hate that it’s down her cunt and not up it. This book is adorable. I want to stay with you, in your room, in your bed. Okay well, that’s not gonna happen. That audio lives rent-free in my head. How does it always become tentacles? I sign up for hairy beast men and somehow I wind up with kinky calamari. Girlypop kinda knows how to write dirty talk, and I will not be commentating further. Samantha: having a grand old time Also Samantha: the logistics of the up and down prepositions are not working and it’s breaking my mental stage directions Lol a duskwalker? Me normally: how do they just adjust to the supernatural so fast? Me right now: let the dog in the house His grumpy inner monologue is so cute. Also, the audiobook narrator is so good. OK, this is probably just a me thing, but I really dislike how manipulative he is. Like I know the whole demon thing, but it’s just a little too calculated and like you’re forcing her hand. It’s turning me off. He’s like I’m gonna steal her book, so she touches me. I’m gonna threaten to throw her in the river unless she says what I want. Like it’s innocent-ish teasing, but it’s also like it’s only been a few days, and don’t force people to do things. It’s a little gaslighty. I don’t think it would bother me as much if the relationship was more established, but because there’s already hinky issues of consent, it’s kind of like you need someone to enthusiastically choose this, not be manipulated into it, you know? (Didn’t ruin the book for me, but did prevent me from book boyfriending.) I don’t know what’s happening, but it’s so funny. (The gator sword bit.) A little bit Alexis ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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May 19, 2024
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May 20, 2024
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Dec 18, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| B0BTZ2MDLL
| 3.91
| 42,054
| Jul 22, 2021
| May 23, 2023
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it was ok
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My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read an unserious instalove monster romance that isn’t quite satire? Pre-reading: I can’t decide if I really like these My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read an unserious instalove monster romance that isn’t quite satire? Pre-reading: I can’t decide if I really like these covers or if they’re detailed to the point it’s gross. Does that make any sense? I feel like no, but if you’re the same brand of psychotic, then maybe! I’m. In. The. Mood. For. Garbage. Thick of it: Immediately funny. What an opening line. Girlypop’s not like other girls. She has a sense of self-preservation. Fuck, now I want cheddar. I think it’s good that I’m in the mood for garbage, otherwise, I would probably hate this. But I also don’t think it hides the fact that it’s garbage. I feel like if you pick this up expecting a Pulitzer, something went very wrong. It’s very Apprentice to the Villain. Just cheeky and for the meme. Lich Phylactery It’s very stilted and info-dumpy dialogue. The Familiar is a more serious version of this. Same ridiculous cup breaking haha. I don’t understand how you keep an entire loaf of bread in your pocket, but go off. Okay, but what self-respecting kindle unlimited girlie isn’t down to fuck the demon. I love hyenas. Haha ye old birth control Wow, he’s a dragon and a shadow daddy. No wonder this is seeing a surge in popularity. Like it’s not well written, but it is entertaining. It’s camp as hell. If you like Assistant to the Villain, you’ll probably like this. It’s just horcruxes. Post-reading: It’s entertaining smooth brain reading material. It’s never laugh-out-loud funny. It can be a little cringe and immersion breaking with the anachronisms, but the modern slang and unseriousness of the book is the whole point. It’s insta lovey. The sex scenes are pretty tame all things considered. The book has a plot just so that the author can write demon smut, and you know, I respect it. The characters are pretty bland. The dialogue can come off as stilted and info-dumpy. But like who’s picking this book up expecting a book, you know? Tonally it reminds me of Shrek. It’s self-aware that what it’s doing is bonkers, but also it’s trying to be romantic. It’s a nice palate cleanser after heavy books. It’s not quite satire. I wish it had leaned into that a bit more, but it was OK. I think you need to be in the mood to read this type of book otherwise it’s gonna piss you off. Who should read this: Fans of camp Monster romance girlies Unserious palette cleansers Do I want to reread this: Nah, but I’ll continue Similar books: * Assistant to the Villain-camp, tropey, fantasy romance * The Familiar by Leigh Bardugo-if you want the takes itself seriously version of this book, historical magical realism romance * Toasty Inside by Zoe Mona-bonkers Christmas smut * Transcontinental Breakfast by Thundertail Slapbush-bonkers food porn with emotional depth * Uncommonly Verdant by Daria Vernon-bonkers fantasy smut, girlypop fucks a tree * Unhinged by Vera Valentine-bonkers magical realism smut, girlypop fucks a door * Bears in Mind by Sam Hall-why choose, bear shifter romance * Hooked by Emily McIntyre-Disney villain retellings, dark romances * A Soul to Keep by Opal Reyne-fantasy monster smut with plot * Bride by Ali Hazelwood-urban fantasy romance * The Guest with Claws by Ella Maven-bonkers urban fantasy alien smut ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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May 03, 2024
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May 05, 2024
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Nov 20, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| 0063279096
| 9780063279094
| B0C6KMGND1
| 3.86
| 43,878
| Oct 17, 2023
| Jan 30, 2024
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really liked it
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My Selling Pitch: Do you like solving puzzles in books that feel like a murder mystery dinner party? Pre-reading: It’s the way the first book had me rab My Selling Pitch: Do you like solving puzzles in books that feel like a murder mystery dinner party? Pre-reading: It’s the way the first book had me rabid at the front desk trying to solve anagrams. In the wise words of DJ Khaled, another one! Thick of it: (If you read the thick of it as a section’s heading and can’t deduce that there’s going to be spoilers ahead. Maybe this isn’t the book for you. But also, enjoy watching me think aloud as I try to solve whodunnit.) Omg, everyone on this train is a murder mystery writer. How fun. (On this episode of Samantha cannot be arsed to read a blurb before picking up a book. ((Look at her using arsed because this series is Australian and she thinks she’s cute.)) How did a man win a women’s prize? It’s so fun! Play detective time! No prologue. Proceeds to give a prologue with fun clues. I love that he's so willing to fuck with the genre. Okay, you told me there were clues in the program. Just off the cuff, here are my suspicions: Fulton-no book for 21 years- she didn't write the first one so she's struggled to produce another or secret baby. Majors-blue mountain? Blue scarf. A stretch I know but- Royce-one to watch? I'll take that seriously. Immediately sus of him, and I’m sure he'll be doing the autopsies on the murdered people, so is like he gonna hide a clue or evidence from one of the bodies from our boy, Ernie? Wolfgang-something’s up with that women’s prize for sure, also is the interactive project the train? Are we faking a death as an art piece? Why does he need a new agent? Was she stealing manuscripts maybe? Haha also mentally compared this to Murder on the Orient Express. How could you not? And that Nancy Drew train game one. It’s the way I'm gonna control f this bitch. (Feel free to screech along with me when you realize the mistake I’ve made.) Note: The name of the killer is in here 106 times. There's 6 writers, 5 detectives because one of the writers is murdered, but they're not in the blue scarf. I'm assuming someone who isn't presented as a writer is going to be killed and they're the actual author of one of the purported writers’ books. Note: The mystery is solved by a comma So blue scarf isn't a writer, but is a victim. I thought this was a happy silly goofy good time and we’re doing rape? Why. Omg, he needs a new agent because Simone is dead! Fossicked I'm assuming the other quarter is he wants to propose to Juliette. (Oh, I’m so smart.) Oh, now Juliette has the scarf? OMG, how fun. Keep it moving. Where she stops, nobody knows. Russian roulette scarf hahaha. If this is some elaborate murder mystery for her to propose to him, I’m gonna be pissed. (We are safe!) Ferroequinologist Ha! Iron horse. Had no idea it was called that. (I like how I root word translated it to figure out what it meant and then like the very next sentence the book translated it for me.) No, because the Andy cameo made my day. I really love this author’s voice. It’s so charming. I really need to pick up Misery. Immediately sus of Misery girl just because of the content of Misery. Also, she’s 20? I smell a secret baby. (So, so smart.) I’m assuming McTavish gave him a bad review on his first book. Like what else could it be? If you prompt me that you’ve given me the information to solve it, I get a little rabid. Like I have to solve it first. If they borrowed the train cabin from somewhere else and Andy‘s an enthusiast, I wonder if there’s gonna be something about the construction in the added train card that he’ll have to ask Andy for help to solve the mystery with? (Dead wrong.) Never knew that about birds. That’s a fun Australia nugget. Oh shit, there’s the rape in the book? From her book’s plot? Maybe? Please? I mean, if you put the first letter in number order it spells ghost and you promised me no ghosts, but that seems way too pointed to be a coincidence. I feel like I solved it. Yes, boy! We love a feminist ally. I feel wildly defensive of Ernie. He’s not real. I need to calm down. But like I’ll fight. The only thing I can come up with for Archie is that it rearranges to cahier which apparently means notebook? Lol, so he Sherlocked his detective because there’s another book. (Again, feel free to screech every time I get in my own way.) I love a pantser. What clues? I wanna know. I want to solve it so bad. Hey, there’s our extra writer because someone on the panel is not writing their books. So who is Texas doing this in memory of? I know it’s a mystery so it’s a pointed two flutes that he’s doing it for revenge, but like can’t a man just double fist in peace? Did Texas’s family member maybe die in McTavish’s hit-and-run car accident? What was Lisa’s book about? I gotta go back and look. My instinct so far is that Harriet and Jasper are lying about where they’re coming from or they’re escaping the train by boat, so they’re guilty? Is McTavish looking to have someone take over his stories for him? Is that why Ernie’s here? Like a ghostwriter and the panel’s actually a competition ala The Wishing Game? Are the reviews his pick ranking, and Ernie’s actually his number one pick? I’m assuming Lisa who wants to talk about women’s rights wrote the porn book? So she hasn’t actually had a career gap. She’s just published under another name. I’m assuming that Royce is talking about Lisa in the cabin, but now that Ernie has also assumed that I am less sure. Oh, so if he wasn’t patting his pocket for a key, what was the man looking for? (Lowkey this is a dropped plot point. There are better ways to introduce and say that Juliette’s forgetfulness would be relevant.) Is the bar vodka spiked? (Nope, but I will continue thinking this all book because I don’t know how drugs work lmao.) Archie bench is 11 letters? 11 orgasms? He’s switching to smut? I’m 36%. Tell me how many people have solved Archie Bench by now. Like am I fucking stupid? (Yes. Yes, you are. You’ve even unwittingly solved it yourself, you stupid bitch.) Oh, how did the kettle break? You can’t hear her breathing? Is she dead? (No.) How did Ernie hear what was whispered to Brooke in a crowded room? (This never makes sense to me, but I’ll allow it as artistic license after the fact.) Was he warning Brooke that he was going to die or fake his death so that she wouldn’t worry? (No. So much worse.) That is not what I’m thinking. I do think Royce is too obvious to be the murderer. No, I’m extremely suss of Majors. Only an idiot would accuse her so someone’s definitely gonna accuse her of murder. That has not occurred to me. I’m too stupid. Multiple identities at play and you’re telling me the total for them, right now? I’m gonna have to do math, sir? So anything before chapter 12 is fair game for counting. So the numbers only add up correctly if you don’t count their usage in the flyer. Sam proceeded to check the count against the characters’ names to see if somebody’s number was too low which would indicate that they have another name. How many other of you crazy fucks also stopped to do the math? IT IS DISTINCTLY 19 ON HARRIET. WE HAVE A HIDDEN IDENTITY. ALERT. She’s been referred to twice not using Harriet, so… Oh bother, never mind. Her husband calls her Harry. Those are the 2 unaccounted for. OK, so that must mean that we’ll have to add names on the list together to get that 106, but Ernie’s gonna count for us. So say if Lisa was Erica, she’s 40+4. I get it now. So many balls so much air. So much Samantha investment. I love to play. At this point, I think Wolfgang is the smut lady because the publishing imprint doesn’t publish Wolfgang, but it does publish the smut and if you very carefully control F his name because you don’t want to spoil the book for yourself, him plus the Erica lady adds up to 150ish, so if we find out his real name too, that could put him right on the money for 160, making him the killer. (I can hear you screeching. Believe me, I will too once I realize this error.) Although I don’t have a motive yet for him to be the killer? I wanna know when we’re at that 20,000 word mark. At that point, we’ll have 90% of the clues, so I feel like I should pause and spew my theories at you. But I think I’ve been doing a pretty good job so far of writing them down as they occur. (And I leave my mistakes in. I’m so generous. I let you see me be the dumbass that I am.) Okay, murder happens at 30,000, so at this point, I have 90% of the clues. I should be able to solve the case. Let’s think, Blue’s Clues. Majors invited everyone here to expose McTavish for ripping off true crime. Wolfgang is the smut writer and maybe the killer but why? Wyatt, Royce, and Lisa are def not the killer because their names are in the book way too much. Cynthia was late to the train. Is that even relevant? If not Brooke, could she be the secret baby? There’s a broken kettle. There’s flowers. The Murdochs are lying about how they got to be on the train. Aaron feels irrelevant. Douglas is there for revenge. Brooke, Aaron, and Cynthia also don’t seem like their names will be in the book enough to be the killer. The big puzzle has to be the reviews which spell out ghost. There has to be something with the art exhibit. Archie Bench has to meet something. And Andy’s train knowledge will be needed. God! You put six crime writers in a room, but Lisa is absent. That leaves you Ernie and Juliette. Royce. Jasper. Majors. Wolfgang. McTavish. That’s 7 and supposedly there’s only 7 writers who board the train. But there should be 8. So someone doesn’t write their own books, and I bet it’s McTavish or we’re not counting Wolfgang as a crime writer anymore because he does smut. But I would lean towards the former. Oh, I give up. It’s the first book all over again where I’ve solved a significant portion, but not enough, and I’m too impatient to sit and think it out. I want to get to the juicy reveal! Get a bucket and a mop. That’s some wet ass ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Jun 12, 2024
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Jun 23, 2024
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Sep 18, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| 0593500202
| 9780593500200
| B0C2PB1Z4J
| 4.31
| 48,094
| Jan 16, 2024
| Jan 16, 2024
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liked it
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My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read a cozy banger that improves on the first book’s flaws, but still manages to fumble the last third? It’s more lig My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read a cozy banger that improves on the first book’s flaws, but still manages to fumble the last third? It’s more light academia journal entries with too little romance. Pre-reading: I’m the map. I’m the map. I'm the map! A buddy read with bestie Kayla. Didn't love the first book. Thought it was exactly fine. Thick of it: Astrology bullshit: Wendell’s in September and Emily is in August. She reminds me so much of Evie from The Mummy. I read it in her voice lol. Book is accidentally horny once again. Girlypop is so out of touch. I love it. I think they’re cute together. They better fuck this book. Coracle Semasiographic The random world-building details in this series are so good. I will always be a sucker for men throwing themselves on top of their lady loves to protect them. I’m assuming she’s trying to kill him now because he asked Emily to marry him so now he’s a threat to the throne. (Like yes, but also no, but also this villain motivation is grade a bullshit.) Wendell: a murderous homebody Disney princess. Sam: Corporate needs you to find the difference between these two pictures. (They’re the same picture.) They’re so cute together. I feel like this book has better pacing and banter already. But yeah, that's right, author. No off-page makeouts. I like that she’s equally as annoyed as me with this fucking maypole man. Fuck off back to Midsommar. He could walk through walls, disappear, and fly ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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May 30, 2024
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Jun 2024
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Sep 08, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| B09Y94K74X
| 3.79
| 141,748
| Mar 29, 2022
| Jan 17, 2023
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really liked it
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My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read a silly goofy good time that feels like being at a murder mystery dinner party? Do you like thriller satire? Do My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read a silly goofy good time that feels like being at a murder mystery dinner party? Do you like thriller satire? Do you like solving puzzles? Pre-reading: I’ve heard rave reviews for this and others trashing it, so I’m very curious what I’ll think. Also, the two covers for this book look so different that I think they’re different books every time I see them. Thick of it: I live and die by these commandments for my mysteries, and when authors break these rules, I get pissed. I reported to have happened means one of these deaths didn’t happen. It’s a fake out. But oh my god, I love this spoiler element! I know it’s saying hat trick as in three deaths in chapter 11, but dear god, I hope it’s a death involving a hat like a pun. (Nailed the pun thing, just not for this rule.) Why no sex scenes? (Time and place, Samantha.) Also, what’s the plot hole gonna be? I’m so interested! Oh my god, that’s so funny. So the audiobook and the Kindle edition each have a little meta-note. That’s phenomenal. Also, I do listen to my audiobooks on a cranked speed. I just need it to read as fast as my eyes are going, okay? Oh, what an intro. I’m so in. 1, 5, 8, 10, 11, 21, 25, 26, 27, 29, 30, 40. (Didn’t need this note, but man did I think I would.) How do you drive for two hours without getting pulled over by the cops for a missing headlight? Why wouldn’t you dig the hole first? Now it’s more damming if someone walks in on the scene. Oh, interesting! So if there was a spreadsheet that detailed the room numbers, and now they’ve unexpectedly switched rooms, somebody must be trying to kill the people who were in the original rooms? If there’s an attempt on the MC’s life anyway. Reunion bingo is funny. This book is funny. I’m car illiterate. Wow, what a fun plot. I’m in. But who is snorkel lady? We’re talking an awful lot about roofs. (I love that everything I picked up on was used.) Well, you know what they say about assuming. He doesn’t seem like a real cop. Is he maybe not a cop? Is he someone in disguise? (I’m so good at books.) Gormless Oh my god, it’s the way I immediately went there. I was like she better not be fucking pregnant. Go off, king. Or did he die in a fireplace because the chateaus have fireplaces, but they’re not on. Remember room four wasn’t available the first day. Was it because there was a man dying in the fireplace? OK, but who is snorkel girl? Or did Erin shoot the guy and that’s why she feels indebted to Michael because he covered up her murder? (Nope.) There‘s the snorkel woman. I knew she’d be involved. But someone unaccounted for was in room two, and people were up to shenanigans in room six, and you told us no sex scenes so- I’m having fun. My brain is working. It’s very Andy Weir style in its humor. I’m confident in my abilities, but I can’t skip. This book is so fun. I love it. It’s keeping up with everything that I know too. He killed someone, but does that make him a killer? Categorically yes. Literally the definition. I feel like this book is going to be a lot of cool motive, still murder. (Yup.) If we’re following murder mystery clichés, Michael is definitely going to disappear from that closet or die in it. (Yup.) Someone else fixed a drink for someone else, and that is a cliché, so I’m suspicious of Audrey‘s coffee. (Wrong coffee to be suspicious of.) Oh, I’m a hopeless cliche, but immediately yes to the flirting, so she’s probs evil. That is some peak dude bro writhing lmao. Granddad’s medal and if he built it, does it lead to a secret passage Nancy drew style? This whole novel feels like a Nancy computer game. HAVE I MENTIONED THAT I LOVE THAT THIS BOOK IS KEEPING PACE WITH MY ASSUMPTIONS Ooo the what’s in a name bit. Now I wanna pause and make guesses on the names. Anagram with every first letter? Or with Andy or Crawford’s full names because those names stand out. This name puzzle is driving me nuts, but I need to move on. I have such a bad migraine and I need a dumb audiobook to put me under. They’re emphasizing how the window can’t open, so he must escape this room. There’s just no way they would make it to a murder trial and they would leave out that he’s the cop who murdered their dad as motive. Like there’s no way. (Oh, there’s a way.) I’m enjoying this book so much. It’s delightfully cliché. It’s bouncy. I love the fourth wall breaks. It plays on your assumptions as the reader. Like it’s so good. It reminds me of Anxious People and The Last Word. Literally, every book I read has bears in it. How? This is Australia. Ernie and Sophia have too much chemistry for siblings. I assume it’s Erin looking at the body. (Yup.) Did they dig up an empty coffin? Is the dad not dead? (Close!) He 100% got strangled in a fireplace, and that’s why he inhaled the ash. (No, but this makes so much more sense.) Why don’t they just turn the wheel of the truck and steer it into the snow? You know ask and answered. Ooo that oven mitt bit made me wince! This name thing is driving me nuts. So if he’s pointing out that he changed, Andy, does that mean Andrew Millot is an anagram? Or like Katherine? You should see all my sticky notes at the front desk trying to spell out letters and unscramble them to learn something. Like I can find heroin. I can find woman. I can find tire I can find kill. I don’t know what it is. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be looking for or how many words! (I was right on the money. I just didn’t look for long enough.) I mean, we still don’t have the name of whoever girlypop’s malpractice suit is against. This book is so FUN. Why lug a coffin up the mountain though? Why not just take a picture of it? (Again, every time I was like this doesn’t make sense. It gets used later. That’s so satisfying.) I know! That’s why Knives Out’s villain was so obvious to me! This cheeky fucker. I’m enjoying this so much. (I knew we were getting some kind of pun about the rules.) Erin sucks. Love the style. Love the voice of this book. I think the murder case is so lame. If he brought a jeweler’s eye, does that mean he put the pictures inside the jewelry somehow? Did he fix her ring? Oh, that’s 100% what it is. (Let her cook.) Loupe It’s funny. I feel like I’ve figured out quite a bit, but I don’t know who the killer is. Good job, book! Oh, it’s in the watch. It’s in the dad‘s watch. It’s not in the ring. (There she goes.) So many twists in this book! It’s a solid three. If it vastly improves in the ending’s whodunit explanation, I could see giving it a four. I’m gonna solve it. I swear to god, just give me some time! (She gave herself zero time and continued to plow through the book.) OK, so it’s a pseudonym name that I still can’t figure out. Damn, so the vomit is involved! Man, I’m so curious. (Samantha is too much of a square when it comes to drugs to have ever recognized this.) Here’s the thing, the only thing I know for sure is that the photos are going to be in the dad’s watch which they can find with the loupe. OK, the shivering husband thing-Andy had to get something from her car and left the window open? I assume paying off the pyramid scheme is why Michael was short on money. He was trying to bail out his wife. Someone was in Sofia‘s chalet and tried to call Ernie’s room thinking it was Catherine and Andy‘s room. But like that’s all I got. Fuck, I don’t know! Cheeky fucker. This book is so clever. It’s so fun. It’s so Agatha Christie. Thank god, I got something right. OK, I got the watch right, and I got the MLM money right. OK cool, I got the murderer right. I got that he wasn’t a cop right. I was so nervous. I’m so glad I figured it out. I feel so smart right now. So big brain. I missed a lot of the bullshit, but I got the important bits. OK, I did not get that he was Jeremy. Somehow I thought Darius was a black man, so it didn’t even occur to me that they could be related. That’s on me. I don’t like that my brain assumed that. That makes me feel icky. This is such a good ending. I am live laugh loving. It’s so dumb. It’s so fun. It’s very murder mystery dinner party, and if you like those, you’ll love this book. If you think it’s ridiculous and like inappropriate to have a silly goofy time around murder, you’ll HATE this. OK, I love that. It follows the rule because I was like Jeremy hasn’t killed anyone. He was a child. Buuut he’s not dead, so he did kill people. How fun. What I don’t understand is if somebody’s name is an anagram or did I just suffer for naught? Literally, I say that all the time. I forgot that rule, but I love that rule. I live by that rule. No one’s dead until there’s a body, but I thought we had a funeral for him. I thought we had a coffin. I was being a little dumb. OK, adorable detail, but how the fuck would I, a dumb blonde, know that policemen wear steel-toe boots. Is this a known fact? I do love that the book gives you multiple chances though to solve the same clue. Like if you don’t catch one detail, maybe you’ll catch something else. Like that’s so fun. Wow, poor Lucy. Your husband was cheating the whole time and a criminal, you’re stuck in an MLM thing, and then a serial killer comes after you. That’s a hard life, man. She just wanted to wear her lipstick in peace and fucking Ernie is body shaming her. I feel like this how he delivered the body to the mountain explanation is a little bullshit, but whatever. We’ll go with it. Yeah, literally how do you land on I’m gonna murder people with ashes? That’s like a really convoluted way to die. So Andy hasn’t killed anyone, so like is he gonna kill Jeremy before this book is over? Like what’s up? (Good job, Sam.) That’s not fair! I don’t know the plot of Jane Eyre, so I don’t know what’s about to happen because I’m a bad bookworm! Go, Andy! I know it’s an old hotel, but if you have this many guests, aren’t you mandated sprinklers in this day and age? Cool motive, still murder. You know, parts of this book are bad, but it’s so camp and fun that I’m like for the experience alone- four stars. We didn’t see a body though. Fool me once…(Ask me again in book 2.) Oh my god, it literally told me to look. I tried so hard with that anagram. I’m just stupid. I couldn’t get it. I had kill out of her words. Like I was getting close. I just didn’t spend enough time. You know what’s extra frustrating? I did Google Darius, and it meant he holds onto possessions well, and I didn’t scroll past the first Google result. But holy fuck, I love that the book did that. That’s so fun. Oh my god, what another fun reveal! This book is so fun. Nothing was accidental. This is so good. Wait, are his books really online because I’m gonna go look? (Not that I saw, but I also did not look hard.) Post-reading: This is a silly goofy good time, and I don’t understand why people are giving it bad reviews. I had a great time, and I drink Hatorade on the daily. Alright, here’s the thing, it’s camp. It’s over the top. It’s ridiculous. But if you pick up a book that tells you it’s murder satire from the jump and expect it to be anything different from that, that’s on you. The whodunit wrap up reads like a murder mystery dinner party. It’s so unserious. It’s exactly what I wanted. It lets you play detective alongside the main character. Enough of the clues are so obscure that you’re going to miss things. Anyone who says they figured out 100% of this book is lying. But the clues are also accessible enough that you can guess things. You get to play too. That is so satisfying. The author trusts his readers, and he gives them the opportunity to solve it. The sense of humor does lean a bit into misogynistic dude bro, but it also has gems calling out the genre’s clichés. She’s not pregnant just because she’s puking. The characters are a little flat, but that’s pretty typical of a locked-room mystery. It didn’t detract from the story, but it definitely prevents it from being anywhere near a five-star. I don’t think the mystery is anything groundbreaking. The actual murder plot is probably the weakest part of this book. But I was OK with that because the concept and the idea of throwing mystery conventions out the window while simultaneously strictly adhering to their rules is brilliant. It’s a love letter to the genre. If you want an easy read, if you wanna have fun and play detective, pick this up. Spend a day on it. You’ll enjoy it. Who should read this: Thriller satire fans Holly Jackson fans Taylor Adams fans the woman in the house across the street from the woman in the window fans Knives Out fans Agatha Christie fans Do I want to reread this: I wouldn’t mind a reread and I will definitely be continuing Similar books: * The Last Word by Taylor Adams-campy thriller satire, makes fun of the genre and lets you play detective * Kill Joy by Holly Jackson-the series in general, but especially this one because it’s a murder mystery dinner party * Hairpin Bridge by Taylor Adams-CAMP revenge thriller * No Exit by Taylor Adama-I think this is the perfect thriller, and I will die on this hill, lets you play detective * Five Survive by Holly Jackson-YA thriller, lets you play detective * The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman-classic twist on the mystery genre * How to Kill Your Family by Bella Mackie-the cringe YA revenge thriller version of this book * The Guest List by Lucy Foley-classic locked room mystery, revenge thriller * Anxious People by Fredrik Backman-heist, bouncy narrative voice, ensemble cast, plays on your assumptions ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Jun 04, 2024
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Jun 07, 2024
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Aug 27, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| 0593598687
| 9780593598689
| B0BP67CX8Y
| 4.16
| 86,231
| Oct 17, 2023
| Oct 17, 2023
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it was ok
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Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read a cozy histori Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read a cozy historical thriller that reads like every other cozy historical thriller? It’s probably the best book on my do-not-read list, but it’s still going on my do-not-read list. Pre-reading: A book box pick that I know nothing about except that the cover reads cozy, and I am not a cozy girly. The special edition is lovely. Thick of it: So help me if this is a quirky, artsy-fartsy fuck-off Mom book- (They literally always are and I don’t know why I continue to try to read this genre.) It’s reminding me of Starling House. Tropes I hate: mental illness is actually just magic. They’re 34. And they’re just friends? I don’t believe you. I don’t trust Ida. (Sam’s unfounded paranoia for side characters continues.) This is not my genre and I’m bored A Sam! This time travel is so plotholey. I think I can see why people like this book, but it has so many things in it that I hate. I hate time travel. I hate moms. I hate children. I hate love triangles. It just all reeks of familial obligation, and I am so wildly independent and anti-that. They’re like that’s your daughter. You owe her better, and it’s like no, that’s some other bitch’s. She didn’t push that out. She didn’t decide to have that kid. I feel like horse people never wrap a lead rope around their hand but- The chapter ending lines are so melodramatic. I would feel so weird helping myself to their ingredients to make food. I don’t think they’re very well to do. Like he’s literally a farmer. I’m assuming she killed her dad, and that’s why she went on the run. I am not a history person at all, so this could very well be legit, but the idea of women working and having power in the 1950s is kind of foreign to me. Like I’m just thinking Madmen. Also, I don’t know what the price of pie would be but it felt wrong. This story reads so whitewashed. It’s making me feel icky. Like farmhands in the past. In the south. Girl. Okay, Cinderella. tedder This whole ‘you don’t need to know everything’ shit has gotten so old. Like this book is one big miscommunication trope, and I’m not about it. OK cool, so I opened the book and knew exactly what had happened with her mother because it’s so fucking cliché. For a book that’s playing with timelines, there’s really nothing to make them feel distinctly older from one another. Like she has chalk instead of an iPad but like do more? Either Eamon died and she went back in time to undo it, or she murdered a bitch. I feel nothing for their relationship. It’s very weird to me. No, abandoning your family will never be brave. Babies. Are. Optional. Oh look, I was right. I opened this book and knew the plot. I hate this book. It’s not badly written. It’s not. I just hate the genre. Imagine knowing the future and being like I want a homesteader life, not share prices in Apple. Post-reading: Yeah, I hated this, but this is not my genre. This will never be my genre. I don’t think I’ve ever read a single book with a premise like this and liked it. I think time travel is too messy and inherently plotholey to be done well. I don’t think this book has problems with consent, but I don’t fuck with the idea that remembering something is the equivalent of living it. Memories are so inherently flawed and incorrect. What people remember is very rarely what actually happened. I think people from different timelines are still distinct and different people. This book only has a plot because characters speak as cryptically as possible to each other. For no reason. They’re like we can’t change the future! We can write more than trust me as instructions for ourselves. We don’t have to use ambiguous pronouns. What do you mean. There’s no explanation for how the magic got started. That will always frustrate me. The loophole explanation makes zero sense, but I also can’t be bothered to analyze it any further. I just wanna be done with this book. Everyone in this book is a shit mom. How does it make sense that Margaret’s willing to have a child to let her be murdered? That doesn’t make any sense to me. Like it’s so she can have a granddaughter? Fuck off. Also, babies are optional. Everyone in this family is like oh we can’t have children. They’ll get cursed. So don’t. So don’t. Condoms exist. Birth control exists. Abortions exist. You do not have to have children. And if you’re like Sam, you’re being unfair to this book, there was no possibility of you liking it because you don’t like what it was about to begin with, I will not argue with you on that. You are so correct. But I will argue that even if you like the genre, it’s still written poorly. The writing style itself is fine. It’s whimsical. It’s romantic. It’s sentimental. It’s a little too melodramatic for my taste, but I’m a hater at my core. However, it’s a time travel book that happens mostly in the past, and yet the time periods don’t feel distinctly different from one another. It feels like this book could happen in any time period. That’s bad. It has no thought for the political impacts of the time. There’s no sexism. There’s no racism, but this happens in the 50s in the South. The side characters serve as accessories to the Mary Sue main character. They don’t have lives separate from her. They exist solely to aid her. The romance felt so forced to me. It never felt romantic. He’s a ponyboy Irishman. That is the definition of my type. I felt nothing. This book just asks you to assume everything. Assume they were in love and a perfect match because they got married and had a kid. Assume everyone in the family is just chill with keeping secrets and having no outside involvement. Assume the family is just totally chill keeping entirely to themselves for their entire lives. Assume everyone lives long enough to carry out this plan. Assume everyone remains able-bodied and in control of the faculties enough to carry out this plan. The murder, which should be the most interesting thing about this story is boring and obvious. I’ll argue that if you’ve read any book in this genre before, you’ll pick this up and know what’s gonna happen. Also, fuck me, I know I’m a Capricorn, but you’re telling me you know the future and you’re not gonna write that shit down so you don’t have to live in poverty? What do you mean. What do you mean. If you turn your brain off and read this book just for the vibes maybe you can enjoy it. I can’t do that. I’m putting it on my do-not-read list. I don’t care. Who should read this: People who like historical thrillers People who like generational family drama books Do I want to reread this: No Similar books: * The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alice E. Harrow-historical, family drama, magical realism * The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V. E. Schwab-historical romance, magical realism * The Wilderwomen by Ruth Emmie Lang-magical realism, family drama * Where Darkness Blooms by Andrea Hannah, YA southern gothic, magical realism, family drama, small-town * Starling House by Alice E. Harrow-YA gothic romance, family drama, small-town * Ink Blood Sister Scribe by Emma Torzs-magical realism, ensemble cast, family drama * Lone Women by Victor LaValle-historical, magical realism, family drama, small-town * The Last Tale of the Flower Bride by Roshani Chokshi-gothic romance, fairytale retelling, magical realism, family drama * Divine Rivals by Rebecca Ross-historical romance, magical realism ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Feb 20, 2024
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Feb 24, 2024
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Jun 01, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| B09VXFLR23
| 4.01
| 119,478
| Jan 10, 2023
| Jan 10, 2023
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liked it
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My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read light academia journal entries about traditionally evil fairies? Do you want a whisper of an unsatisfying romanc My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read light academia journal entries about traditionally evil fairies? Do you want a whisper of an unsatisfying romance? Pre-reading: I saw such rave reviews from some of my fellow book cynics that I had to pick this up. Cindy specifically made me want to read this book. And if you’re like Samantha, you have literally never liked a cozy, mind your business. Thick of it: Shoutout to the audiobook because there was not a chance in hell I was ever going to pronounce anything correctly in my head voice. Oh immediately yes to this book. She reminds me of the librarian from The Mummy, and I’m so in. A Sam! debitage chilblain I’m so in love with this. Very autism coded insouciantly sundry You can't tell me that's not an ACOTAR joke. Immediately yes to a pretty Irish nerd. Sobriquet Wow, they're in love. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Mar 19, 2024
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Mar 26, 2024
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Jan 19, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| B0BHD79NZ9
| 4.07
| 144,832
| May 30, 2023
| May 30, 2023
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really liked it
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My Selling Pitch: A cozy family drama retelling of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Look, it’s better than it sounds, but if you’re not a cozy book My Selling Pitch: A cozy family drama retelling of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Look, it’s better than it sounds, but if you’re not a cozy book girlie, I don’t know if this is for you. Pre-reading: You know who wrote this? Tiffany Reisz. Screaming, crying, throwing up. Gimmie now. Full transparency though, I would not be picking this book up if she hadn’t written it. It doesn’t really seem like my vibe or genre. I liked Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, but it never wowed me. Thick of it: A clock map makes me go immediately to Hunger Games. New England superiority I see you, Tiff-The Rapture Only 65 lol. Okay, enough of the child. I don't have a maternal bone in me. Tiffany is such a good writer. Everyone’s a little too quirky for me. Zach is quaking. It's silence (oops) I like finding the echoes of her sinners characters. Lots of Eleanor energy, but that’s not that surprising when she's a bit of an author insert. I smell a romance Oh Tiffany, you can't hide your age gap horny It's time. Tiff loves all-knowing God men haha Tiff, you gotta chill with these age gaps. We're getting a little after-school special. Why do they keep asking about the boatman? Here’s the problem-I want to keep reading, but I also want to solve the riddle myself. The words have to have two repeating letters but I don’t know what it’s for? I don’t like that I solved it so fast. I want harder puzzles. OK, never mind I take it back. I like that I don’t have to wait for the characters to catch up to me, and I like that they’re riddles for children because he’s a children’s author. A bed for three people? I see you, Tiffany. Tiffany said effortless diversity. Don’t underestimate kindergarten teachers. I hope he doesn’t make her have to be the new author. piney boy It's very Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Tiffany, you’re better than this clunky romance. Oompa loompa doopity doo-doctors are narcissists and I don’t feel like rhyming. Oh god, what lady died on this island? Tiffany Reisz put Soren down. That list clue was easy. I just assumed the riddle was that the men never left the island so they never got married. So like this big game is just an elaborate matchmaking Tinder date for Hugo. (I mean basically.) Are they talking about Piper? Well, I hope they fuck. Oh no, she has to wait out the storm in the sexy men’s cottage. Oh no. Tiffany’s like look at all that emotional damage, look at my range! And her smut readers are like when are they gonna boink? Tiffany Reisz you sinner. Tiffany! Tiffany! This is rude. This was supposed to be a wholesome book! Tiffany! She’s so good at burying the leads in her books. She’s like this is going to be a silly goofy time. And the audience is like bet. And then she’s like what if we got just a little bit darker? And the audience is like we’re following. And then she's like how do y'all feel about crying? And the audience is like dear god, please make it stop! I feel like he’s going to make her meet her sister, and they’ll realize that it’s just a big miscommunication because their parents suck, but also I don’t care if that does happen. Like her sister could give her money then? That's like…fine. Oh my god, this stupid book is so sad. I love Tiffany Reisz. One bed, one bed, one bed (Rabid for nothing. Horny jail, Samantha.) She loves Georgia O’Keeffe, and she loves correctly calling it a vulva, and I love her. Tiffany! I don’t know how anyone could miss that this is by her. I miss August. Oh no, she’s gonna have to call Christopher! Goddamn, this book. Like it’s predictable af, and cozy, and it’s not really my typical genre, but I like Tiffany so much that I’m still enjoying it. Also, this book made me cry just with how sweet it is. (It might also be hormones, but I will always tell you when dumb books make me cry. God, I'm so weak!) I swear to god if this man dies… I think this book just speaks to the childish belief of good people deserve happy endings. And if the idea of that gives you the warm and fuzzies, you will like this book. If that’s a little boring and unrealistic to you, you’re not gonna love this. I think this book’s success will be very reader’s mood dependent. Post-reading: I love Tiffany Reisz. Full Stop. I will read anything this woman writes and probably enjoy it. I am a biased, biased source. That being said, this is not my genre. I am just not a cozy, girly. I think writing wise, this book is a four-star, and for personal enjoyment, it’s a three-star, but it’s Tiffany Reisz, so it’s four stars. It’s just sweet. It’s a happy book. It’s a loving book. The characters are well-developed and effortlessly diverse. The plot’s a little contrived, but you’re signing up for a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory retelling, so that’s kind of a given. I think the lawyer plotline is dropped too quickly. I would’ve liked to see him make another reappearance and offer her the Devil’s bargain again now that the stakes are higher. I think this book’s main stumble for me was that it’s about a child, and I don’t care about children. That’s on me. That’s not a critique of the book. I would’ve liked to see smut from it because I know what Tiffany can write, but I also know it probably doesn’t fit this book’s vibe. This book is an elevated Hallmark movie. It’s got less cheesy romance and more character growth. I think you would connect with it more if you had a favorite childhood book series like The Magic Treehouse or Goosebumps. I skipped those and went straight to Nancy Drew. And I feel like that’s kind of my attitude with this book-where I want harder puzzles from it and for it to be a darker mystery and romance. But that’s just personal taste. A book isn’t bad for not being that. A book isn't bad for not catering to exactly what I want. It’s just something else. And for a cozy, it’s well done. I think this book just speaks to the childish belief of good people deserve happy endings. And if the idea of that gives you the warm and fuzzies, you will like this book. If that’s a little boring and unrealistic to you, you might want to give it a skip. (And for my Original Sinners girlies, there is one line in this book that may make you cackle.) Who should read this: Cozy book fans Do I want to reread this: No Similar books: * The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin-OG inheritance games * Shark Heart by Emily Habeck-quirky subject matter, but emotionally eviscerating * Masters of Death by Olivie Blake-play a game to find out you’ve been loved all along * Ink Blood Sister Scribe by Emma Torzs-bookish magical realism, found family * The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V. E. Schwab-cozy, musey, magical realism romance * All the Crooked Saints by Maggie Stiefvater-magical realism, vibes>plot * My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry by Fredrik Backman-cozy family drama * Anxious People by Fredrik Backman-absolute romp of an ensemble cast, fundamentally happy book ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Nov 2023
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Nov 02, 2023
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Dec 19, 2022
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Kindle Edition
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