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| 1728299985
| 9781728299983
| B0C44CFZPD
| 4.51
| 153,901
| Nov 29, 2018
| Oct 24, 2023
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really liked it
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Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Irish Shameless. Enjoyably cringe Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Irish Shameless. Enjoyably cringe and cliche and melodramatic. Still tries to make teenagers far too sexy but also, I am an old. Pre-reading: Wow, I really don’t wanna read this, but I am nothing if not a finisher. Thick of it: You get some lovely, dramatic lines that are made for TV, and then it immediately defaults back into the cringe. It’s such a shame. Where’s Joey’s book? He’s the best one. Oh man, what an opener. Where was this book lol? Are they seriously trying to pretend this 17-year-old with a broken dick is psychic? (No guys, they just have like such a deep soul tie! Gag.) What on earth does “like someone wired to NASA” mean? I love Joey. OK, the family drama in this is leaps and bounds better, and it’s probably because we’re getting more Joey. Except like you literally are a child. Oh, absolutely horny jail. Ugh, the romance is gonna ruin any family drama points this book was winning. God. I don’t think some random schoolboy is entitled to ask you that, and I know they think they’re in love because book one set that up, but I just don’t buy their relationship at all. Literally their mom is so ill that she’s a villain, and if this book doesn’t treat it like how Joey treats it, I’m gonna be pissed. I think it’s just silly how sexual and how serious their relationship is because the book doesn’t need that. The book would be so much better without all that. If this book was just a family drama, I would eat it up. Why is Johnny’s mom so weird? She doesn’t act like a real person. How does she know that Shannon‘s mom tried to have him suspended in January if she didn’t know about the ball incident that sent Shannon to the hospital? Oh lol, they’re literally telling me right now. It’s like they’re closing the gaping plot holes of book one. Aw, Joey is a Capricorn. I knew I liked him. This is a fundamentally different book from the first one. She’s low-key kinda good right now. All these arguments and perspectives are so valid. Oh, let’s not pull a Tamlin and lock a bitch away. There must’ve been a year or two between this book and the first one because the writing has improved a bunch. And then the second I say that, it careens off a cliff again. If he’s just smoking weed, I swear to god- It’s still take a shot every time it’s Shannon like the river and not just fucking Shannon. (You would die.) Me: wow, the series is really trying to be more serious. Also the series: arguing about the plural of genitals Also, also the series: chapter 17-dangerous pussy Why does his mom think he’s sitting around watching porn with his buddy? That’s weird. She would like pineapple on pizza. See, the book’s like let’s tackle serious topics like rape, and abuse, and codependency. The book’s like this is a serious, healthy relationship. And then the book’s like he thinks he’s in love because he could fuck a bunch of other girls and it wouldn’t mean anything. It’s just so unserious, and such bad internalized misogyny, and like the objectification of women, and also just so much sexualization of children. I’m not saying your teenage characters shouldn’t fuck or be horny. I’m just saying you as the adult writer should not be trying to make those scenes sexy. Take a shot every time this book drops in keep to play off the title. Dare I say I’m having a good time? Three stars so far. Why does everyone keep saying he’s 18. He’s not 18. Stop calling him that. He’s literally 17. He is also a child. And 18 is still a goddamn baby. Fuck me, I’m OLD. Guys, what if I like this book? Like it’s still not well written, but the dialogue is really hitting this time. She’s juicy. She’s drama. I love Joey. See, again. Why the predatory adults around children? And the book’s like tehee, it’s a joke because they’re boys. It’s not funny. If book one was Normal People, this is Shameless. Oh, don’t do that. Men know what makeup is. They know. Kinda live, laugh, loving this time around. Guys, I’ve hit the I want a Joey book. I want a Lizzie book. I want a Gibsie book. See, like I would buy all this dialogue if they were older, but you can’t tell me people are seeking out a 16-year-old boy for oral. It’s so GROSS to me. I could do without them trying to make underage sex sexy. I don’t trust Joey not to kill himself, but like I love Joey. Me: this book is very serious this time around. Also this book: chapter 35- tissues and ejaculation issues. Right at work. Right at the front desk. Thank you so much, Chloe. God, I think about that constantly-how statistically your first few relationships won’t last, and I’m like please, just let me get them over with! Someone gets this boy a Snickers. I would like to see that playlist. (Criminal that it’s not included.) This tiny shit irritates me like nothing else. Me and my size 10s will be over here lmao. Again, would be on board if they were of age, but let’s not make children sexy thanx!!! (Chloe can clearly write sex scenes, but let’s take that talent and put it on twenty-somethings instead of teenagers ffs.) She’s not going on 17. She literally just turned 16. She literally is a child. I want to be on board, but they’re just so little omg. This book is way better than the first. It’s a little fanfiction-y with the snippets, but it’s fun. Not the do you feel like a man when you push her around ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Mar 31, 2024
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Apr 05, 2024
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Mar 31, 2024
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Kindle Edition
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| 0593528735
| 9780593528730
| 0593528735
| 3.92
| 10,850
| May 30, 2023
| May 14, 2024
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not set
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not set
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Mar 15, 2024
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| B0C9Y36Z2V
| 4.12
| 99,216
| Apr 02, 2024
| Apr 02, 2024
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liked it
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My Selling Pitch: Gone Girl x Room x The Jinx. A solid YA thriller that descends into camp territory by the end, but still entertaining enough to pick My Selling Pitch: Gone Girl x Room x The Jinx. A solid YA thriller that descends into camp territory by the end, but still entertaining enough to pick up. Pre-reading: I am genuinely so excited to start this. I really liked A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder and the novella. I have not liked any of her other books. Thick of it: Oh no. I fear this may be bad. It feels FIRMLY YA. On the fashion alone, we are either getting a quirky gay bestie, or this is the love interest and I’m going to die of cringe. If this is an artsy fartsy fuckoff mom book so help me- And title drop. Baby Bel- like the cheese. Omg. Did she pull some Taylor Swift shit and get into a janitor’s cart or like a trash can? (Watch me crush this book. I am the FBI.) The slug mouth is just making me think of that spell from Harry Potter. Lol, a local. I'm a Masshole too The dog dies lol. A minty boy. Oh god, this man is cringe. Is it The Office that was all about the abbreviations? That dialogue feels lifted. I feel like pawpaw is def involved. He’s set up too well with his memory issues to not be involved. Isn't that the type of birthmark Phoebe Waller Bridge has lol? Miracle baby? Sounds like Sherry had an affair and Ms. Rachel found out. Carter’s not her dad’s daughter, and redheads are recessive. Point me at the next red-headed man and that’s whodunit paternity wise. Interesting how the book talks about a redheaded victim right after. Like did I open this book and solve it? (Oh girl, nearly.) Holly Jackson- Disney adult I assume Sherry had an affair with the teacher and Rachel found out. She would’ve known her abductor then so there’s no signs of a struggle. If the math teacher is a ginger, he's the father of Carter. A Sam! Oh look, he’s a redhead. Oh look, I’ve guessed this book already. We’re at 13%. So help me god, if I’m correct. Now I just gotta figure out how they avoided cameras at the mall. (You nailed it on one, babe.) I can't help but feel like the Ramsey name is a nod to Jon Benet. (Def my true crime white whale.) I'm sure there will be something damning against the uncle as a red herring in the stalker’s interview, but it'll actually be Sherry whodunnit. (Wrong! But also, we dropped that plot point of the stalker’s interviews.) I feel like I’m gonna have a hard time reading this book if I have to get through 400 pages just to be correct. I’m even guessing how they’re gonna try and throw me off. (Did not have a hard time reading. This book lets you play detective very well.) “Fuck off, Harry Styles” is iconic. Rachel Price: *returns* Sam: *surprised Pikachu face* The author, the blurb, the goddamn title: GIRL. (I truly go in so blind with like zero predictions. It’s wild. They just let me loose on these books. Recreationally.) How on earth do you still fit clothes from 18 years ago? Oh look, I was right about how she got out of the mall if any of this is true. How do they not have more questions for this woman?!? I would be going nuts! How would the hospital not keep her for observation and tests and like rehydration? Oh, she wrote stories? That’s convenient. Does the ring have the date on it still? How would the police not alert Rachel’s parents? What the hell? (They might as well be dead. They are not in this book.) Also, I’d like to say that I can’t suspend disbelief that the police are this bad at their jobs to just let this woman go home, but then I think of the American Justice system. Like never mind. This could happen. But like I’m pretty sure missing people have to do DNA tests and have their identity confirmed before they’re just let loose with the family. Now I’m assuming she’s in cahoots with her husband and was like you need an alibi so he cut his hand on purpose so that he could prove it wasn’t him when she went missing because of Sherry and the teacher. I’m still all in on that. (So close, yet so far.) I don’t trust this bitch. Does this bitch have a secret twin? I swear to god. Get her, bestie! Holly Jackson is really good at making you root for these plucky teenage girls. Here’s the thing though, if you’re trapped in a basement with no news source for 15 years, how are you not completely overwhelmed by the brands and technology of a mall nowadays? I feel like if you’re in Vermont, you don’t know what Starbucks is in the 90s. (Samantha, 15 years ago was 2009. Not the '90s. God, I’m OLD.) This book is so well-paced. Could they test her and see if she’s had a Covid vaccine? That would kind of prove that she wasn’t in the basement if she got a shot. Can they prove that the tag or the size isn’t the pair of jeans she went missing in? The Memory Thief is the book grandpa was reading to Bel in the home video. Sus. That’s gonna be a thing. I don’t know what kind of thing, but definitely a thing. Am I crazy for thinking that someone in '80s/'90s New Hampshire wouldn’t know what paella is because like my parents definitely wouldn’t know. Love the nod to And Then There Were None. I feel like if they’re continuously pointing out a creaky stair, then it’s gonna come up during the climax of the novel. (Wrong. I don’t think it ever comes up.) This trend for contemporary male love interests being such SUBS needs to take a hike. Gimmie a strong female character AND a strong dude. Take a shot every time this book says horsefucker. Dude, what the fuck, Sherry. Boomer diet culture is wild. The dude watching the house is definitely the stalker. New theory: Carter is actually Rachel’s daughter and she disappeared because she had an affair with the English teacher and was pregnant. She gave the baby to Sherry, and Carter got in contact with her after doing some genetic test in science class and realized she wasn’t Sherry’s. (Nearly there.) Nelson has to come into the story at some point with this many mentions. She’s gonna like report that she saw Rachel coming and going with the teacher maybe? See, like I’m even more sure that it’s gonna be a genetic reveal thing because they specifically bring up testing girlypop at the beginning of the book. It’s the way I keep confusing Rachel and Bel because it seems like the daughter should be named Rachel. I feel like the chief of police would definitely not answer a teenage girl, but I do love that Holly Jackson trope. What did Carter order for $200? A paternity test? How much are those? ( Nailed. It.) Oh look, we’re bringing up his red hair again. Here’s the bad thing though, they’ve stumbled onto this teacher and possible affair plotline far too early in the book for me to think it’s actually true, so now I have to reconsider my theory. Ash is growing on me. The Harry Styles thing definitely helped it along. This offhanded mine shaft commentary better not come back into play because I don’t wanna write it down and I don’t wanna remember it. But I’ll bet you it’s where the climax of the novel is going to go down. (Nailed. It.) Oh new theory: the guy outside the house is her dad‘s boyfriend or friend from prison and he picked him up and took him to Vermont. (So off base, Samantha.) He definitely wants a book back. Were they communicating through books Anxious People style? (Again, so close, yet so far.) It’s definitely a first edition of a book that’s like $3000. That’s 100% what it is. (Nah, babe.) Oh shit, it was just money. What’s that two-party recording rule? (Could’ve googled. Didn’t feel like it.) She’s being a bad cousin to Carter, but I also don’t understand why Carter is on the mom’s side. Like she should be all in on playing Nancy Drew! Yeah, Uncle Jeff in the bathroom audio just like that documentary, The Jinx. Actually, now that I put it out there, this whole thing feels very inspired by The Jinx. If you haven’t seen that doc and you’re a true crime fan, highly recommend. I wonder if he got hurt and he was trying to type in Bel and it went to Bob instead? He better not be down in the mine. You gotta earn mom. You don’t just get to be called mom. Literally the first second I’m like oh he’s starting to grow on me, they kiss and I’m like wow, right back to square one. I don’t like this romance. It feels so forced and fast. Maybe the brothers did murder the mom but it was an accident? The intruder is the plumber stalker. Oop-yeah, not surprised. Holly Jackson does the same thing that Taylor Adams does where nothing is an offhanded comment. It’ll all be a callback eventually, so it gets a little formulaic and predictable. I think Taylor Adams does it better, but Holly‘s also writing for a younger audience. Not to victim blame, but how does this family who has stalkers and supposedly an attacker who’s still at large not have a home security system? Oh, I hate eye horror. That made me wince. Also, I’m not gonna like it if the book pulls an actually, girlypop was just delulu the whole time. Her mom’s like totally a good person! (Sigh.) Oh, she’s into biology? Like learning about recessive traits like red hair? Convenient. I don’t think the dad is the villain. I’m willing to be wrong, but like what? Also, I can’t not picture Charlie from Twilight. Like if you read this book and you’re not picturing Charlie from Twilight what’s that like? The bookshop owner wouldn’t have kept her in a basement. Would she? What’s going on? I’m confusion. Aw, look at the bookish shoutouts. Wow, all the book title mentions just made my heart all warm and fuzzy. I’ve read a bunch of them. I’ve been reading this as an audiobook, and I was like damn, it’s really taking me a long time to get through this. Then I picked it up on my Kindle today and like goddamn, I read so much faster than I listen, and I listen on at least 2x. Her dad‘s gotta be the one in the trailer now. (Yup.) This book is great. An easy read, well-paced, it keeps upping the ante, efficient and effective callbacks. Just really solid. However, I do feel like I’m gonna be disappointed by this climax because I opened the book and guessed the big Carter reveal. Oh, didn’t Sherry talk about a homebirth? It wasn’t a home birth. It was a tractor-trailer birth. Hahaha. Wow, I nailed my predictions for this book. (I mean you guessed a handful real off base too, but-) This reminds me of a true crime case that had this same brand of gaslighting, but I don’t remember which one. I just know it’s familiar. Does that make sense? How did she hide the money? (Plot hole.) What do you mean she got so skinny that the cuff slipped off her ankle? That’s some bullshit. Also, not to victim blame, but how would you not try that earlier? Or like save your butter pats to slip it or something. I’m a little disappointed with this reveal. It's a little too far-fetched, but I’m also like this is a YA thriller. It’s written for entertainment, not realism. Lol, very Room. What a movie that was. How would this adoption not fall apart just by looking at Sherry‘s medical records? Where is Ash for all of this? Like literally just call the police. This is so stupid. Like the reveal is so dumb, and I guessed the big twist so easily that I feel like it should be three stars, but it’s still a well-paced and plotted thriller. It’s just a little delulu. But it’s also for children, so I’m like maybe we let it slide? OK but pull the air cap on one of Jeff’s tires so he can’t follow you. Oh my god, and there’s the mine. I literally begged you not to involve the mine Oh my god, did she listen? Are we not involving the mine? So help me god, if she runs into a bear. We really jumped the shark. We’re going full Hairpin Bridge. Oh, Holly Jackson. We were doing so well. We were four stars this whole time, but this ending is just terrible. We’re plummeting. Wow, can’t believe I was wrong about the teacher being her dad. We brought up his red hair so much. A red hair-ing? I don’t think unchecking the box on Ancestry DNA would prevent the police from doing that. Also, I think you need DNA on record somewhere just legally, but OK. Cool motive, still murder Holly Jackson loves a good for her book, and I am just not a good for her girlie. OK, but there are scratch marks on her dad‘s arm from Bel. They’re gonna be able to tell. Also, what about Sherry? Sherry knows some shit is going on. You’re gonna have people’s cars and the cameras. Oh my god, this book’s logic is downright bad. And like the entire documentary. All that footage. Girl. This ending is so bad. Listen, the book itself is good till you hit about 75%. Then it devolves into camp. It’s still worth the read. It’s fun, but like definitely not a good thriller. This is for the Verity girlies. Also, Carter is literally a minor. How is she not a ward of the state? What do you mean? Damn, it really always is the husband. Post-reading: A solid little YA thriller until the end. The book does an excellent job of allowing its audience to play detective and try to figure out what’s happening. Even if you figure out part of the solution because it is a bit predictable, it’s well-paced and twisty enough that it’ll keep you reading. The main character is a melodramatic teenager and you still root for her. The romantic subplot was too rushed, and the love interest was too awkward and cringe to get me on board with it. Comparing your would-be hottie to a minion is a choice, and Icebreaker barely got away with that. As far as the plot goes, I am not a good for her girlie. Nine times out of 10 it’s going to irritate me if we veer into revenge thriller territory. This book is no exception. To enjoy the ending you really have to suspend your disbelief. You have to be down for camp. And unfortunately, that’s not what the book is going for. It’s being fully serious. All of its twists and thriller mechanics feel pretty familiar. It feels like a mashup of well-known true crime cases and other popular thrillers of the past few years. It kind of felt like Holly Jackson cherry-picked the parts that she liked from other books or movies. It prevents the book from feeling original, but I don’t think it ruins it. It feels a little Easter eggy, just like all the bookish community title drops. The book’s a bit plot holey. People leave a lot of DNA evidence lying around. Dropping bodies down a mineshaft isn’t the get-out-of-jail-free card that you think it is especially when you leave scratch marks on them. Somehow babies can just show up without hospital intervention. Feel free to correct me in the comments if I’m wrong, but I don’t think that’s legal. Like how did she get a birth certificate to enroll in public school? Are we supposed to believe that they contacted that Bob guy to get a fake baby birth certificate? And Bob is just so good at his side hustle that it stood up for all these years? Also, somehow Rachel was able to know everything that she needed for pregnancy and give birth and pass a placenta all on her own? Homegirl didn’t even have a sterile environment. Rachel‘s metabolism also must be for the gods if she could have a baby and still fit into jeans from 15 years ago. There’s a couple dropped plot points as well. I don’t know if Holly Jackson left her options open while she was writing the thriller or if some parts got trimmed, but there’s definitely gaps. Rachel‘s mother may as well not exist. Rachel has an extra scar on her ankle that’s never accounted for. We never get to see any of the clues or interviews that the stalker conducted. Part of the appeal of A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder was its mixed media format. I think her returning readers are going to miss that in this book. I did. The ending feels rushed. It feels like it jumps the shark. It all ties up a little too neatly, but it’s passable. It’s just a little YA thriller. Its job is to entertain you, not be a literary juggernaut, and it definitely succeeds in that. Pick this up for a fun time, just don’t expect it to change your life. Who should read this: The Verity girlies I support women’s rights and their wrongs Revenge thriller fans Do I want to reread this: Nah, but I look forward to her next release. Similar books: * Verity by Colleen Hoover-revenge thriller, gaslighting * Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn-OG revenge thriller, gaslighting * The Housemaid by Freida McFadden-revenge thriller, gaslighting * No One Knows Us Here by Rebecca Kelley-revenge thriller * Hairpin Bridge by Taylor Adams-revenge thriller, camp ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Apr 18, 2024
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Apr 21, 2024
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Nov 26, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| B0C39Y5SRC
| 3.97
| 386
| Apr 16, 2024
| Apr 16, 2024
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did not like it
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Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Did you want more of the first boo Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Did you want more of the first book’s incoherent action scenes? Do you want to read some gratuitous sexual violence against children? Do you love the it was all a dream and the revenge thriller tropes? Another for the do not read list. Pre-reading: I don’t particularly want to pick this book up after I disliked the first one. This series got so many beautiful special editions though. Thick of it: OK, assumptions going into this. Willa is going to be evil, and something’s gonna happen with the god of love, and like maybe all the gods will come back to life. (All dead wrong.) Oh, now they’re saying that one of the grandparents was clutching one of Rory‘s tampons. I’m so confused. Why are we doing this with the tampons? Why on earth would you reward a would-be rapist with another child for them to abuse? I don’t think forcing another woman to carry a pregnancy that’s going to kill her or make her upset is the solution. This is upsetting to read. That makes no sense. He’s seen your trauma so he owes you his? That’s bullshit. I would dnf this book right here. I am tired. I don’t wanna read more rape. This book’s format is changing. I have no idea what’s going on. I’m so annoyed. There's so much rape in here, and I hate it. This is literally so much rape. I’m very upset. Oh my god, and they’re killing the dog. What is this? Things I don’t like: the fact that this book has been all rape, but now there’s underage children having a threesome. I don’t like it here. I'm bored. I don't know who the intended audience for this book is. Because it feels firmly YA but w/ how much rape and how graphic it is…like that's not for kids. I'm getting more and more annoyed with this. I know they're ageless gods now, but if you put in that little aside of lol they're also still high schoolers it feels icky to read about! Also, what's with the media causes transness nonsense? The fuck is a line like that doing in a book like this? I mean Apollo’s a massive rapist so maybe don’t liken your love interest to him? I know the book is trying to be quirky and do memory flashbacks, but it’s just coming across very disorganized. I just- there’s no logic to this book. Everything‘s a rule until it’s inconvenient for the plot, and then it just doesn’t matter anymore, so nothing feels like it has any stakes. Again, all these books can try and teach me that immortality is bad, but my Capricorn ass does not believe them. This book did not just pull the it was all a dream card. You made up murderous imaginary friends because you’re a traumatized child. Be so for real. You know it really rubs me the wrong way that this book basically tells us that the Shade was born from Gem’s trauma, so essentially the message is to sexualize your trauma and everything will be OK. That’s so yucky. Cool motive, still murder. Yep, don’t like the messaging. Don’t know who the intended audience is. Going on my do not read list. Post-reading: I think I knew I wouldn’t like this going into it, but I had hoped that it would dig itself out of the hole that the first book set it up for. It did not. It dug itself so much deeper. This book gives you trigger warnings, which I appreciate given the scope of the content, but then I’m very confused who the intended audience for this book is. It reads like a YA. The characters are in high school. They do not have mature voices or perspectives. The amount of sexual abuse of children that’s on page is gross. It has revenge thriller fantasies that are unproductive and harmful to indulge. If you’re traumatized by rape, the solution isn’t to go and rape someone else. I don’t want to read about highschoolers sex lives. I just don’t. It’s weird to me that you would point out that they’re ageless gods, so they can have sex now and have it be kosher, but then put in a little aside that mentally they’re still high schoolers. I just think you can write about underage relationships, even if there’s a sexual component to them, without trying to make them sexy. I also have a big big issue with the book’s idea that the Shade character was born out of the main character’s trauma. Because then we’re essentially told the trauma loves the main character, and then the main character sexualizes their trauma, and that’s how they heal. That’s deeply fucked. I don’t think that’s the message that the author was trying to send. I do think it inadvertently comes across that way. I think it needs to be rewritten to not come across that way. The sequel suffers from the same flawed logic regarding the magic system. It’s impossible to keep up with. The audience is told a rule in one chapter, only for the next chapter to immediately break that rule. That negates any of the stakes of the book. The explanation is always just because magic. It’s cheap. It’s lazy. So many of the action scenes end in stalemates or they work through the issues within the fight itself so there’s no need to even include them. They’re unproductive. It seems like they’re just in there for visuals and vibes and then they’re not crafted well enough for the audience to visualize what’s happening. The only saving grace that the first book had was that it had something interesting to say about morally gray characters. This book abandons that. Everyone’s getting a redemption arc. It’s not mental illness. It’s just magic. And then to end your book essentially by saying that it was all a dream, it was all made up-I don’t think it’s possible for me to be on board with that kind of ending. It feels pointless. It feels like I just wasted all my time reading then. For a book that is clearly attempting to champion diversity and queerness and mental health, there are some upsetting lines and mentalities present. There’s a particular line about media causing a character’s transness that has stuck with me. I think it was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, but it’s never properly addressed that that was a joke and that the character doesn’t actually feel that way. I got nothing from this. I think because of the gruesomeness of the content it’s not appropriate for the intended audience, and I won’t be recommending it to anyone. Who should read this: No one Compulsive finishers who need series closure Do I want to reread this: Nope. Similar books: * Blood Debts by Terry J. Benton-Walker-YA virtue signaling diversity, ensemble cast, urban fantasy * The Night Hunt by Alexandra Christo-YA fantasy romance, Greek gods inspired * Masters of Death by Olivie Blake-ensemble cast, gods and creatures vs each other, urban fantasy romance * Guardians of Dawn: Zhara by S. Jae-Jones-ensemble cast, YA fantasy romance, fairytale retelling, reborn gods * Where Darkness Blooms by Andrea Hannah-YA Midwest gothic, magical realism, ensemble cast * This Delicious Death by Kayla Cottingham-cringe YA dystopian horror, virtue signaling ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Apr 29, 2024
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Apr 30, 2024
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Nov 06, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| 125086691X
| 9781250866912
| B0C1X64T4N
| 4.21
| 119,820
| Feb 20, 2024
| Feb 20, 2024
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it was ok
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Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read a generic and Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read a generic and predictable enemies to lovers romantasy that feels like a poor man’s SJM novella? Do you want to read about a size kink so much it’s practically an Ali Hazelwood book? Pre-reading: On this episode of Samantha reads ya fantasy against her will because she wants to be like the other girls and also it’s a book box pick. I think all versions of this cover are hideous. I think it’s very dumb that books have different titles in different countries. Thick of it: It’s giving nazi Germany. Why the illusion of a donkey if you own a horse? Oh, she’s adopted? Can’t wait for her to be the chosen one/missing princess. (Ask me again in book two.) The Crimson Moth is the worst superhero name. The Crimson Chin, however-(There’s a Saltburn period joke in here somewhere.) Why hide bloody sheets? Why not burn them? Lol Gideon from Maeve, but I still only think of the Criminal Minds guy Rhys and Amarantha I’ll bet. (I swear I just open books. I don’t even read blurbs. I’m just like this. It’s horrible.) It reminds me of TOG- specifically the costume party in the novella where she dances with Dorian. I’m kinda bored. They’re being dumb. Like obviously she’s involved if she owns the ships. What about like a bloody nose? Or like needles? Leeches? You can def get blood without scars. When does she have time for fashion to be her specialty? Why does the Fairyloot cover have pink hair if she’s strawberry blonde? Did we run out of characters in the email to the artist? How does he have two hours to make a flower? I thought he was late to her party. He’s late and he spent two extra hours making a flower? What do you mean. Oh, she’s got little hands? This is giving Ali Hazelwood with the size difference fixation, but also I have that kink so carry on. Why is no one questioning her name? Rune-like that’s literally a magic symbol. And they’re like oh yeah, she’s not a witch. What do you mean? His parents are named Sun and Levi. What do you mean. What do you mean what connected these things? Obviously revenge, you dumb whore. A piney boy She might be worse than Hazelwood with the man is big mentions. This is a little rushed in the romantical depot for me. I feel like maybe it’s the baby sister murdering everyone as like a vampire? I dunno something undead. Oh lol, never mind. Not the sister. Definitely an undead Verity. Get a bucket and a mop ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Mar 10, 2024
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Mar 11, 2024
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Oct 19, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| 1728299950
| 9781728299952
| B0C44DX85D
| 4.43
| 203,294
| Jul 18, 2018
| Sep 26, 2023
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did not like it
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Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Wattpad’s Normal People. UPDATE: A Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Wattpad’s Normal People. UPDATE: At no point do I think this is a good book, but I really loved book two, so I guess you’re gonna have to suffer for 800 pages. Pre-reading: Booktok strikes again. Y’all said this is one of your best. A criminally ugly cover. But like I love an Irish boy so maybe I’ll love it too? Thick of it: Wow, thank you for that name pronunciation guide. I will never refer to it, and my brain will just garble letters together. (not a criticism just an advertisement that I’m an ignorant slut) You’re joking. The TV prayer is a real thing? The more you know. Oh no. Oh no. Have I signed up for Wattpad? I have, haven’t I. I’m so sick of reading character appearance dumps from a mirror where all they do is shit on themselves because they’re so tiny and they’re so skinny. Like shut up. How do you get to school that early and still manage to be late? That’s a little much, girlypop. I'm too old to care about high school sports. (laughs in Beartown) Take a shot every time they tell you she's small. (Instantly blackout. Like good luck getting through a single chapter.) This is so painfully Wattpad. She's not like other girls. Kill me Immediately no to what type of female. I'm too old for these books. Don’t tell me someone was interested in fucking a fourteen-year-old child. There's no reason these people can’t just be in college. I can't take it seriously with them so little. Like they barely have facial hair ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Mar 27, 2024
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Mar 31, 2024
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Sep 13, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| 0063252791
| 9780063252790
| B0BR3YSG87
| 3.62
| 3,867
| Sep 14, 2023
| Sep 26, 2023
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did not like it
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Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read bad Danny Phan Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read bad Danny Phantom x OC fanfiction that's been changed just enough to be published? On my do not read list. Pre-reading: Would not be reading this book if it wasn't a Fairyloot pick. Thick of it: Yo Danny Fenton I love pickles, excuse you. Aw, another holiday birthday baby. This book is aggressively YA. Y’all think she liked Spiderverse? Ew, they’re 17. They better not shenanigan. Wow, things I don’t like: high schoolers talking about other high schoolers being willing to give it to them. Like I’ll take my old curmudgeonly card now, but also get me out of here. This is cringe. Ha, a Cap and a Scorpio. Me likey. (But like neither of them have that energy so.) Honestly, driving anxiety is very real. It’s a YA and you’re the main character. Obviously they’re looking for you. (Nothing comes of this, but I’m sure book two will have something to say.) Aw, a dog. A horse girl. Y'all, I’m too old to be reading about teenage boys and lollipops. This is very lower YA. This is for like 12-year-olds. (But then the horny is bordering on NA.) Uhhhh. I know they're an appropriate age for each other but I don’t want to read about a 17-year-old boy oggling a 16-year-old girl’s chest in her bedroom where he wasn’t invited. A piney boy Oh yeah, I’m sure we’ll never see him again. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Mar 26, 2024
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Mar 27, 2024
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Aug 28, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| 1250846692
| 9781250846693
| B0C8G1CYM5
| 3.77
| 692
| Jun 18, 2024
| Jun 18, 2024
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it was ok
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Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: The CW’s generic fantasy Veronica Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: The CW’s generic fantasy Veronica Mars X Gossip Girl continues in a sequel that definitely could’ve just been a few chapters tacked onto book one. Pre-reading: The first book was exactly fine, and I expect the sequel to be exactly the same, if not a little worse. The first cover was so good. The sequel’s cover is heinously ugly. Thick of it: For some reason, Garden of the Cursed and Threads That Bind are the same book in my head. Alright, let’s see if my unhinged summary from last year can refresh me enough to read the sequel- First things first, I’m the realest. Second things first I write immaculate unhinged summaries. Plot refreshed. Vibes refreshed. Characters identities, I got nothing. My dumbass renamed them all with gossip girl characters. Very lols, but also, I have no idea who anyone is. Proposition for series that are coming out nowadays: how about we just start including a skippable recap chapter right at the beginning of the book? If you can trigger warn me, you can write me a recap. That's a WACK dedication. Here’s the thing- girlypop is legally the worst detective in the world and last book I was like ha ha, it’s so obvious whodunit, and I was right, but now that they’re harping on it so much- that he’s definitely the one who cursed the boyfriend- I’m like is everything a lie? Is it someone else? (I gave this book way too much credit.) OK, did the wife do it because I’m having strong the wife did it vibes? Also, I literally don’t remember her being in the first book. Somehow, nothing is happening, and we’re like vaguely recapping the old book but like we’re not actually recapping the old book, so all of this is pointless. It’s kind of like hey, do you remember why the last chapter of book one was bad? And the audience is like fuck no. And the book is like too bad! We’re moving on. This scene is so bloated for what it needed to accomplish. I get that she’s trying to add a cool action sequence and scenery and atmosphere, but I’m like just get to the fucking point. (This book has strong written for TV episode vibes. Very like oh, here’s a cool moment we can use CGI on so people remember this is a fantasy.) How are you such a bad detective that you can’t even find the clues in your own house when you’re investigating your mom’s disappearance until it’s convenient for the plot? Does she need to hold the journal up to the illusion mirror and it’s like some decoder shit? (No. We have this mirror just for the vibes.) It sounds like a record of how much she’s doctoring the books or skimming off the top. -Oh, the book also just made that leap, so I must be wrong. (I was not wrong.) This book is so bad. It’s so CW. I think this book annoys me so much because the author writes like she can’t trust her audience to figure out anything for themselves. They just have to be spoonfed all the answers and like, I guess it’s a YA, but like even young readers aren’t this dumb. This is the Met Gala. Who is this girl, Iris? I don’t trust her. (She literally wasn’t worth the word count.) Don’t give me a submissive boy. I hate this trend. (SIGH) We do not need all these scenes of 17-year-olds making out. This is not a good romance. I don’t care about it. Please move the plot forward. I look in people’s windows ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Jul 17, 2024
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Jul 19, 2024
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Aug 27, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| 1649375522
| 9781649375520
| B0BYM2LJDX
| 3.92
| 157,250
| Aug 29, 2023
| Aug 29, 2023
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liked it
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My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read Hench but make it YA fantasy? And if you don’t know what Hench is, do you want to read an enjoyably Wattpady wor My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read Hench but make it YA fantasy? And if you don’t know what Hench is, do you want to read an enjoyably Wattpady workplace comedy in the enchanted forest? Pre-reading: Cover slaps. I’m not sure how this book is not going to be a Hench rip-off, but I’m willing to see. I’ve never seen this woman’s TikToks. Thick of it: Now this is a map I can get behind. It’s giving Wattpad writing, but I think I’m still gonna enjoy it. Wow, she’s ready to kill a bitch already. I didn’t expect that from her. She’s like I’ll give my job away to a single mom who works two jobs, but I’ll also kill Bambi. Get you a girl who can do both. That’s victim-blaming thinking, and we won’t have it. Did he just call himself a demon? Sir, please. Evie darling, you need therapy already. This writing is something else. Evie girl is #quirky It’s giving Anastasia Steele’s inner goddess. What sort of dialogue? Wow, she is down bad. Girl, horny jail. A cinnamon boy Yes, sir. (Samantha, horny jail.) Girllll, horny jail. This book is funny. How is defenestrating bodies better than the last job? (You know, valid. Death by window, totes better than rape.) I feel like Evie is a perfect delulu girly for dark romances. I don’t know if Becky was the name to choose for your person of color character… How many times have they mentioned his thighs? (They stop eventually.) Am I sensing a Killian Jones riff? I’m just saying. I’m just putting it out there. (T’would not be surprised if my husband was the inspo for a lot of this character.) Girl is down so bad. Horny jail, nay horny Alcatraz. Girlypop is straight delulu. I mean that’s not how tailbone bruises work, but sure. This book is so bad, but I’m having such a good time. God, they need HR. This book is Hench fanfiction, but low-key funnier. More sitcom, less black humor. Ohhh, Becky is HR lol. (Maybe? Essentially? Don't matter.) Censure Real men drink their coffee black. Toxic masculinity is wild. Trystan Arthur yeef I came in like a wrecking ball ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Sep 10, 2023
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Sep 12, 2023
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Aug 26, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| 1250897459
| 9781250897459
| B0BK6JBJ4S
| 3.62
| 2,591
| Oct 10, 2023
| Oct 10, 2023
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it was ok
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My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read a mess of a generic YA fantasy that's a mash-up of Twilight, Six of Crows, and Masters of Death? And like the ma My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read a mess of a generic YA fantasy that's a mash-up of Twilight, Six of Crows, and Masters of Death? And like the main character is a Walmart Calaena Sardothian? And the love interest is yet another shadow daddy? And like Greek mythology spit on it? And like you’ve definitely read everything that happens in this book in another book already? And it’s like definitely a book about genocide, but with none of the seriousness that topic requires? Another book for my do not read list. Pre-reading: One of my favorite covers of the year. Thick of it: It's reading like Masters of Death. (This tone lasted for approximately one chapter.) She’s a Smurf. (-Truly, why are you like this? -What? Funny? It’s the trauma.) She’s the last unicornnnnn ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Oct 19, 2023
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Oct 22, 2023
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Aug 22, 2023
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Kindle Edition
| ||||||||||||||
| B09SDY5Q74
| 3.73
| 1,606
| Sep 26, 2023
| Sep 26, 2023
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liked it
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My Selling Pitch: The lovechild of Six of Crows, Peaky Blinders, and Scorpio Races, but with none of the execution. She is underdeveloped, reads like My Selling Pitch: The lovechild of Six of Crows, Peaky Blinders, and Scorpio Races, but with none of the execution. She is underdeveloped, reads like a debut, and the romances are super forced, but the concept is so fun that I still think you should read it. Also, some Jewish culture magic if you’re into that. Pre-reading: The only thing I know about this book is that it has ponies. I think the cover is very ugly. Thick of it: The family tree is already too complicated for me lol. I’m sorry, what is this magic system? Bull-strength powers. Sure, that makes sense. Burning light-fire powers-no, don’t be ridiculous-mood control powers. Star-okay sure, fire powers that makes sense-no, human gps powers. Okay, and a snake and that’s gotta be-fire powers. Girlypops, I am going to confuse this so much. (This magic cheat sheet never mattered.) I. Love. Ponies. Magical horse races? Shut up, I’m so in. I adore Scorpio Races. You’re gonna throw this many country names at me without a map. (And I never want a map. Honestly, you didn’t need one. Just accept that there’s a bunch of countries. It doesn’t matter.) Oop, she’s a Feyre lol Love the Beauty and the Beast vibes. Wow, what an episode of the Saddle Club. My horse girl is thriving. It’s exactly like those horsie computer games. Pippa Funnell who? Did they conscript her brother because she turned down a proposal? (No.) Oh, you can’t name a man Blue Eyes with any level of seriousness. omfg bad She better not race a car or something. (We’re safe.) It's giving Six of Crows. Even if the book doesn’t end up being good, it’s a unique concept, and for that, I applaud it. Wow, I didn’t realize this was a dark romance. Lol. I like Damian. It's a little heavy-handed with the Jewish vs Christian but I appreciate how it’s a culture, not a religion for the characters in this book. She said World War II, but make it about horse racing and magic, and I’m kind of vibin with it. (Not nearly enough of this vibe.) This is a little eerily relevant to current politics. It’s good politics that relate to today, but it’s miserable to try and summarize. I like them together. (Damian and Ari.) That's a terrible horse name. Nineteen hands is massive omg. Sounds a little homoerotic to me, sir. (A better plotline. I’m sorry, but it would be.) This book isn’t sexy enough, and it’s irritating to me because court manipulating riders is an inherently sexy concept. And if you’re like Samantha, it’s a YA. Stop being a pervert, mind your business. Man, I hope he’s not evil. I also want to believe in Damian. Oh, lesbians. I approve. I wish the races were darker. Gimme more death. It’s very YA. This would be so good as a new adult. How does it help if a prince buys her only valuable horse? Doesn’t she need to breed it? Chamin Is this a villain origin story because I dig it. Also series or standalone? (Ooh series, yes please.) I want this to be a darker adult series so badly. And not that I ever wish rape on a character, but that’s clearly the sentiment they were going for, and I would like that motivation here. It makes for a very sympathetic villain origin story. I would like that. Well, don’t just stare at it, eat it. It’s even funnier because it’s a pussy. (I think I need to add this to my sin tracker, but it’s how many times I make this joke. The books never do.) The Snuggly Duckling lol Is this a villain origin story? Shit, I’m excited. I guess the book is literally called The Dark Descent, and like I could read the blurb and like maybe find out, but I’m not gonna do that. That feels like cheating. Omfg he’s gonna want to buy Iri. No. She can’t sell him. Omfg. Please no. Stop it, that’s so heartbreaking. You asked for it to get darker, Sam. omfg (And yet I’m still like gimme more) It’s giving Wicked Witch romance and Tommy Shelby. I’m so into it. Oh, this is getting so good. It’s giving they took the rape scene out to make this book YA. Lol, the Inheritance Games. (I haven’t read it, but I know just enough to make this joke.) Note to self, find out if this is a debut because it reads like a debut. It’s got the info dumpiness and the pacing problems. Also, there’s just a lot going on. (not a debut) I want this book to be a four-star so bad. I think it’s a five-star concept with a three-star execution, so it’s either going to be one of my best three-stars of the year or a very low four. We’ll see how it ends. It’s missing a lot of the sumptuous visual details to flesh out a scene so you can picture it like a movie, but when we do get visuals, they feel very out of place in the writing. Like they’re just so abrupt. Also, this book doesn’t have nearly enough banter. No one’s questioning how Quinn has such a nice horse? She said villainessss Lol Haunting Adeline anyone? fettling They really said we’re not even gonna try to wrap up that ending. Post-reading: It’s good. It’s not great. It’s such a fun concept and definitely unique, but the execution is pretty bad. This book needs to be darker, and sexier, and more violent. It feels very sanitized for YA. That sucks. This book is not meant to be that. You can’t have me convinced that these men are such threatening political schemers if they’re so worried about sinning and saving lives. Drop some bodies on the floor dammit. Unapologetically! We’re told the races are so dangerous, but they never feel like they are. That’s such a stumble because the Scorpio Races does that so well where the stakes feel so high even though objectively they’re much lower than this book’s. The Jewish culture and religious commentary is very heavy-handed, but it’s also kind of the point of the book’s magic system, so…Maybe I would like it more if I was invested in that identity, but I am anti-religion all day, every day. I see the similarities to Six of Crows, Peaky Blinders, Mario Kart, and Scorpio Races for sure. The bad thing is that all of those series are so solid, that this feels so weak in comparison. The world-building is pretty basic. The political structure is messy and hard to keep track of. It feels like we get told a lot of the world’s rules after the fact. The magic system is definitely unique, but so unhinged. It doesn’t make sense. You do just have to go along with it. The romances are poorly executed. They feel rushed. The pairings are obvious, but I enjoyed the love triangle. They’re not sexy. There’s no tension. You don’t see characters develop feelings for each other. They just kind of get stuck together because it’s inevitable, and the author’s like they’re in love now. And the audience is like OK, I guess. And I don’t think they would feel this way if the book had more banter. It felt like every conversation the characters had was solely to advance, explain, or summarize the plot. It’s missing a lot of snappy dialogue. Which, to be fair, there is a lot of plot happening in this book. And while I admire it for being so ambitious in its scope, the book isn’t long enough to properly develop all those plot points. It’s very like and then this happened, and then this happened, and then this happened, and we never feel any emotional weight. I think that’s my big problem with this book. It doesn’t make you feel anything. You enjoy the concepts. You enjoy the idea of the characters. You enjoy the idea of the plot. Then the whole time you’re reading you’re like I can’t wait to get invested! But you never actually get invested. I’m going to continue the series. The ending doesn’t even attempt to resolve the plot, and I wanna know where this author is going. Also, I love horsey books. I can’t not read it. I am hesitant to recommend it to other people because the concept really is fun, but it’s kind of a disappointing read. It feels like the outline of a novel rather than an actual novel. I like the idea that it’s a villain origin story for both sides, but neither of them are actually villains. That’s fun. Lean into that. There’s two scenes in this book that really bugged me that I can’t not address them in a critique. I was more upset about the possibility of the horse dying, than the scene where the horse actually dies. It’s so glossed over that you feel nothing. The characters feel like THEY feel nothing. Why? More accurately, how? Presumably, the majority of your audience that’s going to read this book and enjoy it, are horse girls. You better eviscerate us when the horse dies. Scorpio Races makes me cry every goddamn time I read it, and the horse doesn’t even die! Ari’s storyline feels like rape culture commentary. And yet it’s not. And it has me so convinced that there originally was a rape scene in this book and it was taken out to make this book YA. Don’t do that? If this book wants to be dark, it shouldn’t be YA. Let it be dark. Please go there. There’s clearly conversations this author wants to have surrounding morality and morally gray choices. If you don’t think you can address those weighty issues properly for an adult audience, then you definitely can’t address them properly for a YA audience. If you’re doing villain origin stories, make them villains. Make them a threat. Scare your audience. Just make me feel something. The book is not good. The concept is. I am unfortunately one of those people who falls in love with the potential things have, and not just what the thing actually is, so I do still think you should read this. And then if you know a title that’s this book, but better, point me at it. Who should read this: Horse girls Jewish culture/ religious commentary fans YA competition fans YA politics fans Do I want to reread this: Maybe? I don’t wanna read this, but I want to read the better version of this. Similar books: * Scorpio Races-Maggie Stiefvater-magical realism, painfully romantic, water horse races YA * Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo-YA fantasy heist, found family, political scheming * The Jasad Heir by Sara Hashem-NA fantasy competition, political scheming, enemies to lovers * Garden of the Cursed by Katy Rose Pool-YA fantasy whodunnit, political scheming * Dance of Thieves by Mary E. Pearson-tropey YA fantasy romance, political scheming * The Curse of Saints by Kate Dramis-generic YA fantasy romance, political scheming ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Oct 09, 2023
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Oct 16, 2023
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Aug 15, 2023
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Kindle Edition
| ||||||||||||||||
| 125089283X
| 9781250892836
| 125089283X
| 3.52
| 18,540
| Jan 02, 2024
| Jan 02, 2024
|
liked it
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Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Bridgerton, but she’s a chronicall Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Bridgerton, but she’s a chronically ill tailor and he’s a pipe-smoking short king with a man bun. They have magic powers but just for the vibes. Pre-reading: On this episode of Samantha reads YA fantasy she couldn't be fucked about to keep up with the book boxes and the other girlies. Thick of it: Already what the fuck is that name. Wow, take a shot every time this book says reticule. (It’s just this intro bit that feels like it did not get edited enough.) She's klutzy guys. It's giving adhd rep but like beat the audience over the head with it. CLOUT in this book. Describing homeboy’s hair as damp earth like it’s supposed to be appealing-in a man bun no less- is a bold move. Also isn’t he a ginger on the US cover? Okay, but Roman Kit has ruined me for that name. He’s Christopher to Kit? That’s weird. Wow, can't wait for him to use his magic to give her a flower. (The way another character also calls him out for this.) Very confused by the descriptions. She’s like let me describe this beautiful scene by comparing it to something gross. And it’s not meant to be in a creepy way. Au courant It is very much giving Bridgerton. A short king Chemistry is a bit forced here, love. It reminds me of Divine Rivals. She said mood stabilizer fashion. epaulettes frogging Please don’t tell me she’s Elsa. (Oh but she is.) if his wife Sofia is the gossip columnist- I wish Sinclair and Jack were gay lovers. (I still wish this.) You know, I may have been a little hasty judging this book. I’m having a bit of a good time. It’s cliché as shit, but like I’m having a good time. Does it also coincide with the introduction of a fuck to the dialogue, who can say? (Yes, yes it does.) I’m assuming Machlish is supposed to be Ireland and the country she’s in is England and the new princess is from Spain and Sofia’s from Russia or something, but like the Machlish name really gives Scottish. obsequiously I bet the lady’s maid is the actual princess, and he sent her in disguise so that he could make sure that her new beau would treat her right if he treats his servants right. (Incredibly wrong.) chronic illness rep Can’t believe she just said he smells like dirt and cigarettes like it’s supposed to be appealing. I don’t know what it says about this book’s class commentary that her assistants don’t get names. (It says it’s done poorly.) Loupe Oh, that pencil moment was cute. She’s winning me over. I didn’t think she could do it, but she’s winning me over to this book. You’re not gonna convince me smoking is sexy. If Tommy Shelby couldn’t do it… I like Sinclair. A chalked dance floor does sound really romantic. Messy but romantic. She’s like oh my god, his lips touched this glass! And I’m like ew, backwash. Carry on my wayward son ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Jan 16, 2024
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Jan 25, 2024
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Jul 12, 2023
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Hardcover
| ||||||||||||||
| Ma, Coco
*
| 0593621468
| 9780593621462
| 0593621468
| 4.04
| 203
| Sep 19, 2023
| Sep 19, 2023
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really liked it
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Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read a dystopian YA, Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read a dystopian YA, urban fantasy that is the lovechild of the Hunger Games and Night at the Museum that is also COVID commentary? Pre-reading: That is Ronald McDonald on the cover. I no longer remember how this got on my radar. I assume someone predicted it for a book box pick so I requested it to try and be ahead of the curve, but now I just have to suffer through another YA book that I don’t want to read. And if you’re like Samantha, that’s every book you’ve picked up this month, mind your business and also recommend me a therapist because I need to stop doing this to myself. Like does this count as self-harm at this point? I just want to read garbage but like fun garbage, not actual garbage Thick of it: You know, good on this book. I went into it with such a sour mood, but then it opened and I genuinely want to read it. I’m in. But alas, it is 1 a.m. and time to sleep. We’ll try some more in the morning. No subways in NYC? Complete collapse I’m picturing the Spooky Island demon monsters from Scooby Doo lmao. (Again!) No because I’m so down. Rivals to lovers, rivals to lovers I also don’t know what a whelk is. Wow, never mind. What a cunt. Wow, that feels like covid commentary. I’m gonna need them to explain how the city is still surviving if no one’s allowed in or out because like food? But also, the government would just nuke Manhattan. They wouldn’t even hesitate. I don’t believe this for a second. Oh, they destroyed the bridges to Manhattan. That’ll stop them. No, it wouldn’t. Build some boats, you losers. What sort of after-school special line was that? cheongsam So her parents are dead, and I’m sure it won’t be for an elaborate government cover-up because they found out that the deathlings aren’t actually evil and are 1000% just mutated citizens. (Why do I even read books if I can just open them and know what happens?) It’s giving pandering diversity. Stop it right now. It’s giving Fourth Wing so much Bread and feral geese is a new metaphor, and I don’t like it. Oh, well he’s definitely evil. (Master Sasha) How much you wanna bet she finds a candy wrapper that proves he’s evil? The government’s just keeping them alive? For why? The government ain’t got pity. Why would you want to be unconscious? Like I’m sure it’ll be explained, but this book’s got a lot of explaining to do. (Either I missed it, or they genuinely never explain why people would want to take a drug to be unconscious in the field while they huntin’ monsters.) Is this sapphic? (Sam says yes, author says no?) This is an anime character. (Storm) Somebody’s gonna die here so that the author can prove to us that these creatures are super dangerous, but it’ll be an NPC, so we really won’t give a shit. (No death. Wrong, Sam.) Wow, they really dance-mobbed him. punctilious Oh, she’s got an ex-boy? Love triangle? (I don’t like love triangles normally, but I’d be down for one in this book.) It’s gonna be me How would you not know your girlfriend's mom? Oh, not a dead dog! That had better not be intentionally vague rape commentary because we are absolutely not going to trivialize it like that. Oh, don’t call Harlem students chimpanzees. How did an editor let that through? OH NO. Oh, the government told you you can’t talk about it? Ha ha, that works on teenagers. That’s knockoff Caesar Flickerman. Gotta catch’em all, he’s Danny Phantom And he’s the dude from the mask? My god, pick a lane. Oh, look at that her ex-boyfriend knows the government’s actually evil. What a surprise. (Does he? I may be giving him too much credit. Ask me in book two.) No, thank you I will not be remembering all these people. (And I didn’t have to :) ) She’s not gonna place. Have I mentioned that I love being right? Don’t tell me about the dead dog! Not to minimize dead dogs, but it’s giving Pippa from A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder. If Declan dies, we riot, but like it’s giving Declan is gonna die. (He’s safe... for now.) Did she really just Pocahontas New York City? Can you paint with all the colors of the pigeons? Also, I know I’m making fun of this book a lot, but it’s classic dystopian YA, and I’m having a good time. Oh, so homegirl‘s necklace is definitely the missing artifact. Lol, it only heals those injuries so that the author doesn’t have to worry about ableism. Oops, meta- Oh yeah, he has a super bad sweet tooth, and the deathlings are obsessed with candy, but don’t worry, he’s like definitely not evil, guys. (Ask me in book two.) Lol it took me a second to remember who Roland was. And by was, I mean is because I don’t believe that that bitch is dead. Because how else would we have a love triangle and honestly kinda hope that he’s the better option. Because other boy ghosted and lied, and that’s not anything to build a partnership on. (I still want this, and I think it will be a better series if it happens.) Hey, you know what’s not good optics? Armbands for military things. It’s giving Nazi. Perhaps not, bestie. Oh, it’s giving annoyingly woke. Like just why? Why do that? I love representation. This is not it. This is cheesy and over-the-top and virtue signaling when you’ve got some bad choices going on elsewhere in the book. Is she saying Winnie Harlow? You can’t just list off diversity like this, though. It feels inauthentic. It feels like you’re reducing characters to what box they tick for representation. kigurumi Did she just say one of them is a furry? Girl, no. Dude, it’s a bicycle. Who the fuck cares? What’s more concerning is that no one‘s riding around with helmets. Where is his goddamn helmet hair? Can you be dreadfully pasty? Are we skin color shaming in this book? What’s up, Bestie? Why only 10 minutes? He’s always eating sugar. He’s 100% a demon. A rat furry? Come on, you’re shitting me. Don’t tell them what you discussed? You didn’t discuss anything! They’re literally just playing paintball capture the flag. That is body shaming. Like I just don’t understand how you’re going to try and be PC and diverse and then literally make fun of people for the way they look. Lol and they’re putting it on TV because why not? Nothing says made for reality TV quite like teenagers trying to kill each other. And obviously they’re playing this game in the middle of Central Park because no one needs to walk their dog or anything. I’m so weak. I love a sunshine pet name every time. That’s gay. How much do you want to bet the prom theme is a masquerade? You’ve got a box of your ex's nudes? Yikes. Not god sin lol. I LIKE IT EVERY TIME, SUE ME Did he have pudding in his pocket this whole time? That’s so gross. Body temperature pudding. glissades Sometimes this book is so aggressively YA. If they’re old enough to drink, then they do not read old enough at all. A reduced drinking age? Lmao, please. Oh, deathlings are in the water so they can’t boat away. Helicopters then? Zipline? Girl, who are you to judge? You brought a gun to gym class. If anyone reads this book without hearing Ryan Reynolds every time they say her name, you’re a better person than me. They’re gonna be fine because it’s her necklace that’s actually been blowing shit up. (Oh, never mind, I'm wrong.) That is a horrible name for a monster. How do they confirm that? And if they can confirm that people aren’t deathlings, then why can’t people leave the city? That is the Amazing Race. I will say the tasks of the competition have very good pacing. Lol, obviously the arson was a hit to keep them from revealing the syndicate’s secrets. Oh my god, the powdered sugar sin, but I like it every timeeeee. Lol but not lol at the Covid commentary. Sometimes the YA humor in this is spot on and sometimes it’s so cringe. Oh, I didn’t want Noelle to die. Oh, is she going to turn into a deathling? I kind of like that if she doesn’t have to die and that’s how it’s revealed that the deathlings are actually people. (Wrong again, Sam.) Honestly, I love the idea of a magical library lion. That’s so fun. This book is such a love letter to New York. Wait, that’s so sad. I don’t want the lion to die. Oh goddamn, I didn’t want her to die either. That’s gory for a YA. Wow, that was a good scene. This book is really picking up. This is good YA. Here’s the thing, I don’t believe it’s the subway token. I still think it’s her necklace. (Kinda sorta right?) It’s a YA. Of course, she’s a chosen one. Is this a standalone or a series because I can’t imagine us wrapping all this up in one book. Why would the kidnappers leave two children guarding the masters? That doesn’t even kind of make sense And there’s that cringe YA humor. Girlypop passes out every other chapter. I swear to god. Oh good lord, this is plot hole-y. Guys, I still don’t believe they’re dead because they keep talking about how they’re dead, so I’m like they’re not actually dead. And I’m gonna look like an idiot when they are dead, but my dumb little brain is like they’re alive. The book: there’s no denying it. Sam: I’m denying it. (ASK ME IN BOOK TWO DAMMIT) I love being right. Oh, that’s a cute little moral lesson for a YA. Detritus sin Bitch, Google Translate. Oh lol, never mind. I hate that I like that line, but again, good YA humor. I genuinely didn’t see her boyfriend not drugging her. This other night thing is like definitely her not-sister. Well, she’s not a human, you idiot. And bad YA humor again. Danny Phantom! Also, how old is the phantom that she can have a crush on him and like the audience isn’t supposed to be grossed out by it? There are a lot of choices in this book that don’t quite make sense and that are kinda dumb. An editor should have told this author to rein it in and pick a genre, pick a lane. But I’m having so much fun that I can’t see not rating this four stars. Yep, it's her sister. Have I mentioned that I love being right? (Only once or twice.) I like how she had to clarify that New Yorkers are humans. This would make a fun video game. That’s a nutty after-school special message, but that better not be the actual methodology behind it because that’s fucking dumb. Girl, you got bright red hair. It’s not like you blend in. Have we just forgotten about her being drugged? Hunger Games and Night at the Museum had a baby. Is this a Remy the rat joke because get out. I don’t like this mans. (Kieran) Well, that’s a shitty spot to leave off on. So I wasn’t technically to be continued but not everything is solved, so you have to keep reading. Also, shout out to this audiobook narrator. She killed it Post-reading: This was fun. Look she’s plotholey, she’s got some cringe YA humor, she’s predictable as hell, but she’s fun. This is not the best YA you will ever read. Even though I enjoyed this, I’m like damn, she needs an edit. But if you want some nostalgic, dystopian YA and you like New York, give this a try. I get that YA is rabid for representation. This book is diverse, but it does not do it well. It reads like pandering and virtue signaling, and then it’s coupled with some body-shamey comments that really clash with the mentality behind creating diverse characters. The romance in this could use an overhaul. I can’t believe I'm advocating for a love triangle, but I think this is genuinely one of the times where it would work and would add some delicious tension to the book. There are quite a few bits of this book that read as sapphic, but it doesn't seem like they're actually meant to. I don’t like the love interest. I don’t think they’re mature enough yet to have a healthy relationship. It has a few pacing issues. She can write good scenes, but getting from scene to scene is where she falters. The world-building is a bit of a shit show. It doesn’t really make sense, and you’re going to have to let it go, and suspend disbelief in order to enjoy the book. I went into this not wanting to read it, and now I will be picking up the sequel without a shred of irony. Good job, book. Who should read this: Dystopian YA fans Fourth Wing girlies Covid commentary fans Do I want to reread this: No, but I’d read the next one Similar books: Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins-OG YA dystopian competition series Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros-YA fantasy, enemies to lovers romance, competition, nostalgic Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas-YA fantasy romance, competition A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder by Holly Jackson-romp of a YA mystery/thriller Garden of the Curse by Katy Rose Pool-generic YA fantasy romance, whodunnit Guardians of Dawn: Zhara by S. Jae-Jones-aggressively YA fantasy romance where they battle demons The Stranded by Sarah Daniels-dystopian YA, ensemble cast ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Sep 17, 2023
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Sep 24, 2023
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Jun 08, 2023
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Hardcover
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| 1649374178
| 9781649374172
| 1649374178
| 4.35
| 1,366,573
| Nov 07, 2023
| Nov 07, 2023
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liked it
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My Selling Pitch: The Wattpad love child of How to Train Your Dragon, ACOTAR, and Divergent continues, now with added Valg! Pre-reading: Let’s read this My Selling Pitch: The Wattpad love child of How to Train Your Dragon, ACOTAR, and Divergent continues, now with added Valg! Pre-reading: Let’s read this before we get spoiled. Thick of it: Me trying to figure out if I should find a summary of book one before going into this or if I remember enough to bullshit my way through. I’m like that one guy died even though he probably didn’t need to because she’s got magic defibrillator powers. She and Xaden like bonded and shit, but she thinks he betrayed her because everything she knows about the world is a lie because her brother isn’t dead. How'd I do? Is that good enough because I’m not gonna look up a summary. (more than enough) Oh shit, she said no recap- right into it. Why is there a sentence with the phrase sipping my milk in here? We’re on like page 5. Ew. If you thought the writing was going to miraculously get better in book two, girlypops, do I have bad news for you. Lol I have no idea who Imogen is. (Some tattooed girlypop who taught Violet to fight.) Where the fuck did she get pink hair dye in the middle of war? Wildebeest don’t have jowls. Wow, horny jail so fast for this book. Lol there’s no danger of logic in these books. There are so many town and city names that just mean nothing to me in this paragraph. (And they still don’t mean shit.) Jesus Christ, this book is so unhealthy. He said gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss! Oh. You know, I didn’t see head twisting coming. Soup in this Acotar economy??? I know she thinks it’s romantic, but I feel like I’m having a stroke reading that sentence. I found another stroke sentence. That literally seems like an impossible landing to do, but go off. Bailey Horny jail, Violet. No one talks like this. This man really said I’m gonna bribe you with dick. What’s the dumb quote of like she makes me horny in my heart hole or something? Because that. Wow, I just know the girlies are going to eat this shit up, and I’m just like wow, he sucks. What sort of gaslighting propaganda is this book where the relationship argument is really you need to trust me to know what’s best for you? Like lol sir, you do not get to dictate my education. Like that’s literally textbook manipulation. Does she have a funky hair color because she’s part demon or whatever? I don’t remember if the first book told us why she had funky hair. Dude, she’s so bad at explaining shit. There’s so many characters in this book that just don’t matter, and I do not keep track of them, nor can I. Not the development era omg. Imagine being so far up your man’s ass that you write romanticizing gaslighting propaganda for the girlies. Here’s my big qualm with this book’s fight: if you’re in a relationship, you’re on a team. She’s not your underling to manage. She’s supposed to be your equal. Imagine writing and or reading this book about a corrupt government’s war, and not posting on your socials denouncing genocide. Reconnoiter That’s called emotional manipulation lmao. Xaden? A big ol’ hypocrite? Shocker. Lmao this is a terrible, terrible opinion. I needed to watch other soldiers die, so that I would take it seriously. Like girl, the propaganda is NOT CUTE. On this episode of wildly problematic takes-I WANT to manipulate her into loving me, but I’m not doing that because I’m a hero. But I could! (Which like wow, this take is even worse later in the book!) The weaving book is obviously to weave wards and magic, you dumb bitch. I appreciate the attempt she’s making at immigration chat in this, but it’s very surface and not very nuanced. I thought we knew it was her mom that cut Xaden. Is this supposed to be new information? I always have a soft spot for soldier princes. I blame Dorian. SJM wannabe valg plot. Credit where credit is due, that is a good torture tidbit. They want them to drink the tainted water, so they gave them dry biscuits. This is lame torture. They really give them fucking Girl Scout patches lol. You know, I hate these retconny he’s back from the dead bullshit plots because it really invalidates every other death in the series. I’m just like well, then no one had to die. A minty boy Every time I think I’m like almost enjoying this book, she throws in some bonkers line, and I’m just like ew. I don’t understand this fight, and I don’t think Yarros does either. Like I’m getting whiplash. I don’t know what they’re mad about anymore. I think this is stupid. They’re both in love. They’re both horny. Just tell each other all their secrets and be done with it. This is dumb. Hey hey, that’s manipulation. He told her that if she wanted to win a fight, she should take her hair down, and she just took her hair down. And now she’s going to win. This is dumb. Why are these people so unhealthy? Can’t they just communicate like normal human beings? I don’t get it. I don’t get it. Yo, the water bill. The fact that all those other army cadets use that bathroom. Nasty. Y’all need shower shoes. Dude, I hate her sex scenes. The cackle I just let out. I need you. Same. This is the worst dialogue. Oh my god, this is the book everyone’s reading? This? Girlies. How come her joints never pop out during sexy times? Yarros is like she’s disabled! But like she’s never really disabled. I’m such a bitch that my whole reaction to this scene is don’t tell me what to do! I don’t wanna be contained by a man. That’s not appealing to me. And like yeah yeah, contain her lightning so the outpost doesn’t know they’re getting down and dirty, but I don’t like the idea that she needs a man to control her powers and orgasms and everything. I just, I’m not built for this. I’m not built for these power dynamics. I don’t like it. Lol the Viscount wants a super special Mary Sue, and the book is gonna end with her going over to him in a very dumb cliffhanger. If I’m right, I don’t wanna read the third book. (You are wrong! Kinda sorta. I mean, it literally happened. It just wasn’t the end of the book because it covered more plot than I thought it was going to.) All he wants to do is watch! Come on, Bestie. Lol so Ridok’s dead. (Wrong!) Hey, a Sam! I’m counting it. Omg, you need to actually kill the guy, not just give him a flesh wound. Come on! Y’all, time and place for love confessionals! Doesn’t that bring into question if he even liked her during threshing because he was actually just doing it to fulfill his contract with her mother, but she was like that’s how I knew he loved me because he saved me at threshing, so then I loved him for more than just his hot bod? Not calling it an entanglement. What is it with the fantasy girlies and wanting to be absolutely railed while they’re injured? Like calm down, you masochists. Put a Band-Aid on first. Imagine being this dick whipped for like a 22-year-old. Me trying to remember who the fuck Melgren is. This book is so confusing when it’s like bullshit fantasy names and both the first and last name are bullshit, and then she uses them interchangeably. Like I’ve got room in my dumb, dumb bleach blonde head for one name. (Update- apparently, Yarros’ names are based on Gaelic words, even though the story has nothing to do with that culturally. Girlypop, come on do better. You didn’t need to inauthentically represent a culture. You could've keyboard smashed for fantasy names. I genuinely don’t even understand the point of doing that? Like did you just think it sounded cool? But why specifically that one language? That’s so weird. Also, how did the publisher and editor not be like that’s a little sus.) ((I also think this speaks to one of this series’ big weaknesses-where you have modern slang and ideas taking you right out of the fantasy setting. It’s lazy fucking writing.)) Oh my god, so fucking melodramatic. Violet, horny jail. She’s an empath lmao. So like the book’s gonna end one of two ways, right? She’s either getting kidnapped by the Venin, so Xaden can have a where is my wife moment, or homeboy’s pulling a Dorian and getting possessed. (Girl, I nailed this book.) Same clunky world-building where she’s like lol exposition by dialogue, but the character speaking already knows that information, so there’s no reason they should be explaining it. I don’t really see ‘I used to fuck your boyfriend’ as a dig at Violet or Xaden. Like girl, you’re just saying he didn’t want you anymore. That’s embarrassing! She really beats SJM for icking me out during sex scenes. Not the endgame bullshit. I’m down for Dain’s redemption. Being a mediocre white man isn’t a crime, unfortunately. I don’t know, everyone in this book is so whatever to me. Make someone a villain, make someone a hero, I really don’t care. Okay, Calaena. Like I know SJM doesn’t have a monopoly on chocolate cake, but- Title drop, baby! Imogen is my fave, and if they kill her, I will not be pleased. But she’s very Manon-coded. Manon lite. She’s like barely a character. But like literally anyone is better than Xaden and Violet to me. I’ve missed you. Same. Oh my goddddddd. This book is baddddd. I still don’t understand this fight. It’s still giving gaslighting and manipulation and turning it around on her. Is he some truth bullshitter so she doesn’t have to invent another power? Or is he some memory man just like Dain? Lmao he’s a mind reader? This is so dumb lol. Tell me you’re a toxic girlie without telling me you’re a toxic girlie. If you want your love interest to literally be a mind reader, please stop. Do not pass go. Go back to therapy and learn how to communicate, you twats. You know, good on Yarros for being able to recognize and call him out for the fact that he has been setting her up for emotional failure all book. Is she a rainbow dragon or like invisible? Why can’t they reactivate the wardstone? Like I know they’re not reactivating it correctly, but what if they just reactivated it partially? Wouldn’t that still help them with the venin? (Update, the wardstone was broken, and then they literally do just that. Samantha’s predictive algorithm has no chill.) I feel like Aaric has to get his magic powers during this battle, no? (No!) Also, please don’t kill Imogen. She’s the only one who’s made this book tolerable. I just feel like this book borrows so much of the parts where it succeeds from Throne of Glass, and the original parts are where it’s bad. Why are they even bothering to have Violet go after the riderless ones? Like just have her take out the wyvern riders. I think I’ve seen this play before ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Nov 07, 2023
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Nov 09, 2023
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May 20, 2023
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Hardcover
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| B0BGDM197Q
| 4.57
| 2,049,262
| May 02, 2023
| May 02, 2023
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liked it
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My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read the Wattpad love child of How to Train Your Dragon, ACOTAR, and Divergent? Pre-reading: This book is everywhere on My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read the Wattpad love child of How to Train Your Dragon, ACOTAR, and Divergent? Pre-reading: This book is everywhere on Booktube and Booktok and getting an ungodly amount of special editions. Even the default cover has sprayed edges. I’m a sucker for pretty books. Also, dragons-I’m in. Thick of it: Ooo Mary Sue has special hair. Parapet Meritorious You know, I didn’t have dick jokes in chapter one on the bingo card. Ooo special eyes toooo. Mary Sueee Oh, Dain is dead lmao. Dylan is dead. Ceenelations I want personal apologies from everyone pushing this Wattpad ass book. (At least all the people calling it a five-star.) Who describes height like that? Oop and he dead. That was easy. Dain dies or he betrays her. He’s the villain and Xanadu man saves her. That’s a BDSM line lmao That’s a fun power! Quorum Veracious The school lessons are fun. I like learning alongside the main character. I still don’t understand how the last chapter ended with like lol run and then no one ran and now we’re just in a classroom. This is entertaining as hell, but this is Wattpad writing. Besties, this man is rice and beans with his shadow shit. Also have never read a book where the heroine gets caught because of her perfume? I like all the dragon and magic lore. Avarice I enjoyed that chapter ending to the transition quote. That was cute. Also, this book is very Wattpad but it’s very entertaining and I am invested. I’m on board. American Ninja Warrior. Is anyone else’s brain a hellscape that forces them to picture the big red balls from Wipeout whenever there’s an obstacle course in a book or is that just me? I do read these fantasy books sometimes like how has society just allowed all their children to just die like this? And then I remember that we have the US military and police, and I’m like oh yeah. Lol but not lol. A minty boy I’m not in love with the way they keep making threatening things that Xanden says, sexual. He could do anything away from prying eyes…Bestie, you literally think he’s gonna kill you. That’s not romantic. Why is it kind of working? We’re all toxic girlies over here. Is she going to bond to one of the feather tail nonviolent dragons because that would be fitting? This book feels a little tokenly diverse. Like we’re pointing out side characters to be like oh my god, we have representation of everybody. Which like sure, #diversity, great, but it does feel a little bit like you’re ticking boxes when they’re not actual characters. They’re just NPCs in the world. Oh look, it’s the feathertail, like I said was probably gonna be hers. This book is predictable, but it’s enjoyable. How is yellow not a color? I know it’s almost definitely pronounced differently, but I’m reading it as Teeny every single time. I misread something because I thought the black dragon already had an owner. Also, this book is dumb, but I really like it. I like dragons, man. She gets two dragons, awwww. Fergie (This book is literally just glossing over fantasy names and me inserting whatever I think is funny. Scale. Xanadu man. Asbestos.) There’s a weird bestiality undertone here. Dislike. Uncomfy. See I make that comment, and then a couple paragraphs later, we got people horny because their dragons are horny. No, thank you. Wow, enemies to lovers and forced proximity, my favorite. (Look, I said that it was my favorite, not that it was done well.) Awww pretty tattoo. His name is Car and he manipulates metal? Kachow baby, Lightning McQueen. (I realize that I misunderstood and I thought we were getting a new side character and not some random teacher, but like this joke is too funny to cut.) This mans is so annoying like, just shut up. Girly Pop has literal plot armor. Violet, horny jail. This book is not well written. It has way too much modern slang, but like goddamn, entertaining. This book is really just plot, cringe, plot, horny, cringe, plot, cringe, horny, plot. They can stop telling us he’s hot. I’ve gotten the message. I’m sorry who and when did she have time to fuck before she went to this weird college? (The world may never know.) Apostasy Subluxate Literally, why would they not use saddles? (So much of this book makes no sense, but you just kinda got to go with it.) Yeah yeah, they’re dark and light together. Cute. Dumb, but cute. It’s so dumb, but I love how YA/NA fantasy authors are always like here’s your ye old birth control. Safe sex, kids. What do you mean don’t fall for me? Y’all are already in love, like shut up. It was basically instalove. Literally, when did y’all fight? Y’all were just fucking a couple paragraphs ago. The god in bed trope works for me every goddamn time, and I hate this about myself. It’s so cringe. I like it every single time. I think it’ll be a new stat that I start tracking ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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May 18, 2023
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May 21, 2023
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May 18, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| 1250846676
| 9781250846679
| B0B54KGTRY
| 4.07
| 3,030
| Jun 20, 2023
| Jun 20, 2023
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liked it
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My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read a generic YA fantasy romance whodunnit that’s gonna take another book before it’s solved? You’ve read this before My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read a generic YA fantasy romance whodunnit that’s gonna take another book before it’s solved? You’ve read this before. You won’t miss anything by skipping it, but it’s done well enough that you could read it. Pre-reading: I like the cover. I think this is going to read like every other YA fantasy. Thick of it: portentous isthmus dreadnought Hermetic Zither Rictus This is cringe and info-dumpy. Why would the guard just give away this info? What a bad guard. Calm down, edgelord. carcanet Ugh, I hate YA fake curses. (They literally say fuck later on. Just use that.) chevalier insouciant What is it with YA girlies being named after fish this year? scion Girlypop, we already know you’re in love. dolefully Love triangleeee. Swift is either gonna betray her or he’s gay so that she can be with pretty boy without competition. Xoxo Gossip Girl, billionaire romance She and Pippa would get along. desultory Why is there so much vocab in this? Oh, she titles her cases like Nancy Drew lol. nacre Every time I hear that word in an audiobook I do a double take. I listen at double speed at the minimum, and when it’s extra fast, it sounds like something else. I feel like this is gonna be a 3-star- generic and entertaining, but not particularly good. (Nailed it.) They Ella Enchanted him. Also, he’s a broody YA love interest with daddy issues. His dad cursed him. (Samantha, do you ever turn it off?) Fake datinggggg Wow, I hope he needs true love’s kiss. (You’re such a sap.) A kindly underestimated buffoon in a fantasy? He’s the villain lol. (Like take a day off, bestie. Let a book surprise you.) coterie It’s very CW show. He was in love with her so he took a curse to feel nothing for her? (Nay nay.) Papa-papa-paparazzi Or not. Gayyyyy Because Gemma’s a lesbian. Tell me how you actually feel as a command would solve this book a lot faster. Tardis library Tessellated Fractals What grown woman is getting charmed by a 17-year-old boy? Absolutely not. Begone, pedo. Note to self-google the difference between a marsh and a swamp. (Yeah, they’re different things. The book uses them interchangeably. Pretty bad when that’s the heft of your world-building.) Get outta my swamp. anodyne We love a deadline. Everyone’s names in this book are real pointed. He has a colored streak just like that black dahlia lady. Coincidence? (Ask me again in book 2 lol.) affability If he had cursed him, he wouldn’t have ordered him to jump off a roof. Let’s make the leaps faster, please. bougainvillea His sister and Gemma are lesbos. I’ve played that board game! It's called coup or something. I love that game! But like isn’t that game copywrit lol? Like it’s copy pasted. It’s not even fantasied up. Marshaling her fear is such an odd phrase to me. Like I know it’s correct, but who talks like that? She’s only been gone a year? Why did I think it was so much longer? Is her mom hired by Vale because he loved her? I smell a bastard. That’s a sinning little moment. More of that, please. It’s very CW. I wish these idiots were 21 and not 17 and actual children. amaranthine Did he just out his sister? That’s not cool. (It’s unclear if she was out or if this world has any homophobia which is not cool.) A different scented love interest. I’m proud. I don’t like that this is a YA so the dirtiest thing that they can mention is kissing. A Cinderella moment. So her dad is either that Vale guy, or secretly alive as the leader of the gangs so she can be a gang princess. The gun is bees! Again! In no world did I think I would be writing that sentence twice this year. So Swift and Silvan are getting together. (Lowkey more invested in these two.) Harry Potter slugs It’s a little homoerotic to me, sir. Okay, Feyre, lol carapace Margot, horny jail Yeah, but daddy cursed him to command him. I’m so sure I’m right. Ohhh that’s toxic y’all. She really said uno reverse. miasma Oh, so you were a dick of your own volition. Sorry bestie, I’m no longer on board. I don't like you. You’re old enough to know better, and you weren’t just cruel to her. You weren’t like a little mean. You actively pretended she never existed. There’s avoidant attachment, and then there’s straight asshole. That is definitely not what love is. Also, girlypop, you took away his consent multiple times. We are not a fan. morass This is not a reveal. This is what I guessed as soon as I opened the book. So his dad didn’t curse him? I’m confused. The Vale guy did it all then? This is not a reveal I also guessed this. (I’m giving myself credit for guessing this whole book because I opened it and nailed those two plot points.) bulwark 3 star. Peak bucket Post-reading: When I said y’all have read this before, I meant that. (See the extensive list of similar titles all from this reading year, lmao.) It’s fine. It reads like every other enemies-to-lovers fantasy romance book. There’s no reason that these characters need to be 17. In fact, I would go so far as to argue that this book would be more successful if these hooligans were 21. It should’ve embraced its magical college Gossip Girl vibes. Instead, we’ve got 17-year-olds supposedly charming the pants off of (not pedo, but definitely pedo) adults, drinking, and doing the dirty deed of kissing before marriage. But don’t worry they’re all getting married too. Like just stick them in their twenties and write the sex scene, you coward. The whodunnit is formulaic and guessable from the get-go, but if you're not a predictive algorithm with tits, the book lets you solve the case alongside the main character. That’s the only kind of whodunnit I’ll engage with, so good on you, book. The explanations are a bit heavy-handed and deus ex machina, but this is YA fantasy romance. If the plot doesn’t make my eyes glaze over, it’s succeeded. The world-building is info-dumpy and almost totally concerned with aesthetics over plausibility. A swamp and a marsh are not the same thing, but the book uses them interchangeably. We have gay characters and have no idea if homophobia or racism exists in this world. That’s not good. My biggest ick with this book is the romance. There are some pretty obvious consent issues that never really get addressed. The book goes so far as to imply that he wanted to do it anyway, so taking away his consent is a non-issue. Don’t do that. He’s also a dick to her for no justifiable reason. I can’t handle my emotions, so I pretended you didn't exist. Go to therapy, sir. I’ll allow it because they’re 17 and therefore not real people yet, but it really put me off, and I no longer want them together. And this romance is 50% of the book’s plot, so if you lose your audience on it, you’ve basically lost them on the book. It’s entertaining enough. The book reads like a CW show. If that’s your vibe, you’ll probably like this. If you want an original plot with fully developed characters, look elsewhere. Easily skippable, but I won’t discourage people from reading it. Who should read this: CW Show fans YA fantasy romance fans YA whodunit fans Do I want to reread this: No Similar books: * Dance of Thieves by Mary E. Pearson-fantasy romance, enemies to lovers * Sing Me to Sleep by Gabi Burton-YA fantasy romance, enemies to lovers * Wings Once Cursed and Bound by Piper J. Drake-fantasy romance, enemies to lovers, curse breaking * Blood Debts by Teryy J. Benton-Walker-YA fantasy romance, eventually enemies to lovers, curse breaking * Court of the Undying Seasons by A. M. Strickland-YA fantasy romance, enemies to lovers, magic school, vampires * Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros-fantasy romance, enemies to lovers, magic school * The Jasad Heir by Sara Hashem-fantasy romance, enemies to lovers * A Crown of Ivy and Glass by Claire Legrand-fantasy romance, enemies to lovers, curse breaking * Silver in the Bone by Alexandra Bracken-YA fantasy romance, enemies to lovers, curse breaking * A Good Girl’s Guide to Murder by Holly Jackson-YA whodunnit ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Jul 21, 2023
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Jul 22, 2023
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May 16, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| 0063254336
| 9780063254336
| B0BPSXRL1J
| 3.18
| 2,159
| Feb 20, 2024
| Feb 20, 2024
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did not like it
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Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Mary Sue the cat girl takes on the Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Mary Sue the cat girl takes on the Spanish in a historical retelling of the 16th century. On my do not read list. Pre-reading: No part of me wants to read this. I think it’s going to be bad. I think I’m going to hate it. It was a Fairyloot pick so I asked for it like a dumbass. It’s been sitting on my TBR for almost a year. The cover is ugly. I don’t know anything about Zorro, except it was vaguely in a Eureka episode. Thick of it: Hegemony Girlypop, I appreciate how much research you clearly did for this book, but making me read variant spellings throughout a book to mean the same thing is abusive. I am so dumb. Cabildo Encomenderos Chinampas Viceroy Rebozo Tianguis Curanderos Nagual barrios vicereine This book has terrible Goodreads reviews, but it’s like aggressively fine right now. pueblos cornices fecundity I know this book is a YA and I’m a pervert, but highly recommend auto-correcting Tonalli to dick every time it’s in the story. Pescadores peccaries Some of this is bordering on religious kink, and I’m annoyed that it can’t lean into it. Ugh, not the I hate other girls shit. Wow, green sickness. I should call him. You know, I went into this book with a bad mood, but I’m having a decent time. The curative powers of intercourse is not a phrase I had on my bingo board. I mean you don’t have to mount on the left but- Also, girlypop is allowed to ride astride? That feels incorrect. Sallet Lmao how much you wanna bet Ollin is Andres? (Ha, Samantha. you were wrong, you dumb bitch.) cuartel They remind me of Ladybug and Cat Noir. (The book should’ve kept this vibe.) Lmao he did sprout an extra head. Y’all I’m so easy. I’m having a good time. It reads a bit like fanfiction where it’s like scene snippets and no real logical resolution or conclusion to the action, but it’s also like I don’t care? The Kindle Unlimited girlies are like we’re listening Also, I’m 30% in and I’m still live, laugh, loving. I think it’s garbage, but I think it’s fine garbage, so I don’t know what everyone’s complaining about. Like I can’t believe I’m being the positive one here. How bad does this book get that like the masses hate it? Well, thank god Mary Sue is here to tell a literal prince to stop being such a slut. I’m sure that would go over great. Did she just ask this man not to use soap with her whole chest? Mestiza Why are we villainizing girlypop for making the most of her situation? Let’s not do this. I’m not happy with this. That was kind of a metal line. Like Wattpad metal, but still metal. Well, I like her. (Amalia.) Every time I translate the chapter titles correctly, I give myself a cookie. Take that Duolingo. Farthingale That was another kind of metal line. Tell me this writing isn’t on par with Scarred though. (They had us in the first half.) I know the Habsburg line is real people because Keith Habersberger, but is she saying that she’s a hamburger or that he’s a hamburger because I don’t know who has burger, and does it matter? Not even a little bit. Oh, they’re literally trying to explain it to me right now. I’m just too stupid and impatient. Peninsulares This is just throwing names at me, and it’s rude. Everyone having multiple names and then the same names is abusive to me honestly. My brain is so full of books. Stop doing this. I’m stupid. Does that mean the deal’s on? Why are we grabbing elbows? What’s going on? Everyone in this book is a better ruler than this bitch. Hacienda Fuck, I want a churro. (This is the insightful commentary people follow me for.) Can we pick a lane of we’re stone-cold killers or like omg we can’t kill ppl, we’re the good guys Call your boyfriend and tell him to fix your girlfriend’s face. She wants your DICK. sorry I’ll go Very Princess Bride lol I don’t know why people are so upset about this book. It’s so fine. I’m digging the romance. (I feel like this is the perfect review for people who are like Samantha, you’re always a hater. And I’m like no, I was live, laugh, loving and then this book ruined itself, and you can watch it happen in real time.) encomienda Some of this book’s Christian lines make me gasp, and I don’t know if it’s just because I’m a horny little pervert or what, but-(that. It’s that.) Telling me my tongue is an unruly demon? Sinful. More please. This writing is on par with What the River Knows. What do you mean the horse just ripped a tree out of the ground? Someone wanna explain to me why he keeps his clothes when he shifts but she doesn’t? (Like the book attempts to explain this, but it’s also stupid. Just be nakey.) I’m gettin' whiplash from whose side everyone is on. I’m getting bored. Your stomach growling is not unladylike. Fuck off. Remember how I was like the romance is paced well? Throw all of that out lol. And add this book to does the dog die. I don’t understand this book’s pacing. The back half of this book has really fallen off. I am no longer live, laugh, loving. And title drop. This book has really lost the plot and can’t decide which storyline it wants to follow. Oh wow, so that was rape. That’s like very not cool. And this book is very much handling it like that wasn’t rape, you can’t rape dudes. This book has an awful lot of I’m not sure lines. Maybe you should’ve figured it out before you published, Girlypop. I’m not following any of this. Remember how I was like it’s not that bad. IDK what people are talking about? This is unreadably bad. I’m at 94%, and I’m still tempted to DNF it. Oh, ending your book by freeing the native peoples when that’s not what happens in real-life history is a baddddd look. Is this meant to be a series? What the fuck ending was that? (Yes. Yes it is.) Honey, Henry Cavill isn’t Spanish or Mexican. What do you mean? What did you want him for? Post-reading: You know they had me in the first half. For the first half of this book, I was like why is everyone hating this book? It’s so perfectly fine. Then the second half hit, and it wasn’t a book anymore. It devolves to the point of being indecipherable. It’s going on my do-not-read list. The writing is beyond choppy. Clearly, a lot of research went into writing this book but that just translated into a lot of out of place info dumping. The action feels repetitive. The writing feels like a lot of snippets were just smushed together. It feels like the author had come up with scenes, but hadn’t finished coming up with a book but published anyway. The characters are dime-a-dozen archetypes and lack any depth. There’s a good whiff of internalized misogyny here, and it feels like the author tried to counter that by making enemies become besties and or hint that they’re lesbians. And that is lazy and will never work for me. The romance’s initial banter was solid, but then their relationship goes 0 to 60 and they lose all their chemistry. It really felt like two different stories. The first half was a political historical romance and it was mediocre at best, but readable. Then it became some fantasy trying to dabble with the gods and magic and destiny and demons and shit and we were retconning things every other chapter. If you read any of my other reviews, you know a surefire way to make me hate something is to start retconning. Just don’t lie to me. It feels like you’re lying to me. Tell me the rules of the world and stick to them. The main character’s motivations are so wishy-washy. She became insufferable to read. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m an ignorant slut. I don’t know anything about the actual history of this time period. Everything I know, I learned from a Nancy Drew game. (This is even not funnier when you realize that the Nancy Drew game is about the Mayans and not the Aztecs, but somehow I knew about the Quetzalcoatl guy and Cortez so-(And by know about, I mean it wasn’t a brand new word to me)) I will not be critiquing the historical accuracy at all. You could not pay me to touch that. However, I will say that having your Mary Sue main character convince everybody to just work together maybe doesn’t erase years of trauma, but it certainly glosses over it and that feels really icky to me. This is a mess. I don’t think there’s anything redeemable about it. Don’t read it. I blame the editor, not the author because this should’ve stayed the rough draft. I don’t think the idea is horrible, but the execution is shit, and this wasn’t ready to be published. Who should read this: No one? Mesoamerican historical fans Do I want to reread this: Fuck no Similar books: * What the River Knows by Isabel Ibanez-YA historical fantasy romance, Mummy retelling * A Fragile Enchantment by Allison Saft-historicalish fantasy romance, enemies to lovers, more vibes than plot * Scarred by Emily McIntire-historicalish romance, enemies to lovers, more vibes than plot, Lion King/Hamlet retelling ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Feb 25, 2024
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Feb 29, 2024
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May 11, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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| 1250162653
| 9781250162656
| 1250162653
| 4.32
| 89,386
| Aug 06, 2019
| Aug 06, 2019
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liked it
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My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read classic tropey YA fantasy romance with less romantic tension now that the couple has gotten together? Pre-reading: My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read classic tropey YA fantasy romance with less romantic tension now that the couple has gotten together? Pre-reading: I liked the first one. I’ll take more. But I do love that I only have to read two books to finish the series. I don’t think I could do more unless the writing drastically improves. Thick of it: Opening with fake-out smut is cheap. So what was the present? (Patience, Samantha.) Zombie pigeon Parritch Why did I think the ring was silver? Whenever a character gets depressy over her dead boyfriend-all my brain thinks is calm down Bella Swan Bestie, we know he’s not dead. We’ve got chapter titles with his name. Ballistae 100% he has mommy dearest Oop, I’m wrong (Like I meant he had mommy in the moment, but technically I’m not wrong, and that’s very funny to me. She would rather die than invent new characters to be villains.) Pauldron Can she please decide whether this guy is a mastermind or a pawn because I’m getting whiplash. Is it mental illness or bad writing? (Bad writing.) This plot is a little dumb. It’s trying to be clever, but we’re just told that it’s clever rather than us actually seeing anything clever. Since when does this series have giants? You know this is YA when the power is desire and it doesn’t lead to smut. (A goddamn waste. Horny jail, Samantha, horny jail.) But aren’t they cousins??? You’re just trusting he won’t find his way out? That’s a bad plan. (This series loves plot armor.) Did they have a secret wedding? (Is the series a YA fantasy? You answered your question.) Rube You know, I was getting really bored there for a second but I’m back invested. Give me all the political maneuvering. I don’t care about this dumb plot. Like I need you to move forward now. Stop the backstory expose. Like we get it. He’s evil. Tell me new things now. (You know what irritates me so much? This book feels like retconning of the first book.) See? Doing much better, book. Now that’s actually clever-hiding them in her empty tomb, that no one else knows is empty without telling me before it’s already being done? Excellent work. Please keep up this energy. (I ask for so much and receive so little.) Wouldn’t they run out of air though? (Listen, I’m not going to calculate crypt physics, but I’m sure someone on the Internet has and can weigh in.) That was a GOOD fake out. I really thought they were reuniting. Yeah, secret wedding lol. We still got a good bit of book left. I’m excited. (You are about to be disappointed.) That’s so icky to me that a mom could be pregnant while one of her sons is getting married and it’s not even her oldest son. (I don’t know why it’s icky. I have an aversion to children in general, though.) Votive Cooperage We love a charismatic evil ginger redemption arc. Listen, I don’t think it’s possible to kill people that way, but it was a cool scene. Also, they gave us so much shit in the first book about how she’s only killed two people or something. How many random soldiers have they killed this time around? This isn’t ‘Bama. Why are we pretending that cousins in love is normal? Please go away. Better riddles in this book. They’re more poem-like. I’m still confused about what brought the zombie bird back to life. The king with his magic dust? Why bother? Homeboy was coming back anyway. Post-reading: I feel like the verdict for this book is the same as the first one. It’s classic, tropey YA fantasy. It’s enjoyable. It’s not great. The beginning of this book is really slow. The middle picks up. There are genuinely clever moments in the middle, and then the ending kind of loses its steam again. Everything is just so easily resolved. There’s so much plot armor around these characters. There are no stakes. Like no one important dies. I get it. It’s YA. We don’t wanna make people feel sad things, but like it’s not enough for me. Obviously, I crave more banter and smut. You could have a book that was only banter and smut, and I would still ask for more. The villains in this book are really weak. Like the book tries to tell you why they’re evil, but it very much feels like they’re evil for the sake of being evil. I think my biggest complaint with this series is that it spends so much time telling you that characters are clever, but then we never actually get to see the characters be clever. And it feels like the sequel was just retconning the first book to invent a villain out of existing characters, rather than having to come up with new ones. Unpopular opinion, I feel like we could’ve trimmed some of the fat from the first book and thrown this plot into it. This didn’t need to be a duology. I think it would’ve been stronger as a more complete stand-alone. But you know make that coin, girl. Split your books. Also, someone please correct me if I’m wrong, but I was under the impression that Priya and Paxton are cousins. Why are we trying to shove a romance in there? This ain’t ‘Bama. It’s a fine series. Fine series are not must-reads. Who should read this: Romantasy YA girlies Do I want to reread this: No, but I’d still recommend it to fans of the genre Similar books: * Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas-street rat girl in love with ruling boy * Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo-street rat girl in love with ruling boy * The Immortals by Tamora Pierce-classic YA fantasy * A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas-love interest plays double agent * Monstress by Marjorie M. Liu-dark fantasy graphic novel ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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May 08, 2023
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May 10, 2023
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May 08, 2023
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Hardcover
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| 0525619992
| 9780525619994
| 0525619992
| 3.80
| 30,461
| Oct 10, 2023
| Oct 10, 2023
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it was ok
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My Selling Pitch: Do you want a generic political fantasy with lackluster, obvious romances? Do you want Jewish but make it fantasy? This reads like a My Selling Pitch: Do you want a generic political fantasy with lackluster, obvious romances? Do you want Jewish but make it fantasy? This reads like a YA and could be a quarter of the length. Pre-reading: I’m like a unicorn. I’m one of the few book girlies who has never read a Cassie Clare book. Until now. Thick of it: I like the first line. Scree Legate I'm just picturing Jamie Lannister. Vambraces Well, now they gave me a description and ruined that lol. Precipitous He’d better become a horse boy or he’s off my list. I’m assuming it’s Roman-inspired? But also I’m an ignorant slut. (Maybe the main country, but it’s a whole mishmash of the modern world.) This is very good city imagery. Blazon Salvers Costermonger Now this is how you introduce a fantasy world and define the words as soon as they’re used so that you don’t piss off your reader. Like it’s a lot of information, but it’s very clear. Tepidarium Fastidiously Incised Epergnes On nothing but eyebrows, I’m team Senex. Like I know he’s probably evil, but that just makes him even more appealing. (This man is not in this book.) Capons This book is such a vocabulary workout, and by workout I mean I’ve never heard these words before in my life. Lol Kaz Brekker wannabe It’s hard to take notes for a summary because I don’t know who’s important yet. (No one. It was no one.) Dosshouses Carapace Dalandan If Kel is not bi, we riot. Weals Aren’t they like 10? Why do they sound so old? These children literally sound thirty. Note to self it’s Conor with one N. Y’all this is gay as shit, and if it’s not gay as shit when they grow up, I’m gonna be very displeased. (I am very displeased!) Flechettes No, I’m so in. I like this book so much. I think the pacing is very good. We got so much information, so many characters, and it never felt like an info dump. Top-tier world-building integration. (This opinion lasted for precisely one chapter. I liked chapter 1 and then I was out.) Potentate Sartorial Oh good, they’re 23 so I can think of them as real people. LMAO let’s not describe women as docile. Arable A 7-foot-tall billionaire??? Alert the romance writers. Hypocausts I feel like this is a good book for the Latin girlies. (I no longer think this.) Bullion Loggia Cambric Vielle I really hope we’re not getting some girl-on-girl hate between Lin and Antonetta. (I mean ask me again in book two, but I think we’re safe.) It’s reminding me a lot of the Dark Descent with the faux Jewishness. Did people used to buy portraits of royalty to swoon over? (This is a very Google-able fact. I did not Google. Feel free to educate me in the comments.) Kirtles OK, how many times is she going to use the word incised? This chapter is not the same standard of writing. (And neither is the rest of the book.) I don’t know how to feel about the names of all these people being so similar to actual people of history. Like it’s very obvious who they’re supposed to be, and I can’t decide if that’s a good or bad thing. That was melodramatic. That was a bad chapter. Roisterers Carcel Desultory Bezels Inveterate Aesthete Purloin Omg, a smut room. Gimmie It reminds me of Six of Crows too. She was really like let me change a few letters from the modern world, and it’ll be fantasy. I truly cannot decide if I like it or hate it. Like I appreciate the parallels to today’s history and maybe the lesson she’s going to be trying to teach us about race and religion, but is it also a little lazy? I think it opens up a giant can of worms if she doesn’t do it well, and I don’t know if I trust her to do it well. I don’t know, I think it’s an interesting release with the world’s current Israel-Palestine conflict. (But it definitely doesn’t illustrate the Palestinian side at all.) Celadon Untrammeled Chalcedony I’m kinda bored. This angle they’re doing for the queen’s personality is not feminist. It sucks. Satraps Lol, she treats Amina al-Sirafi. Quixotic Let’s not try and pretend we’re doing sex-positive sex work by having their job require them to be inspected by doctors. Most of these workers are trafficked and doing it against their will or because they have no other choice. Let’s not romanticize and glamorize it. That is a horrible mindset. I hate when other people force their religion on you. They’re mourning in their own way. They do not need your goddamn religion. I really dislike this book’s religious agenda and mild fake wokeness that we’re getting into. She said we love the gays, but we still hate women. Samovar Is she trying to say all these people have HIV/aids? Lol, so he’s dead. Horse people are a different breed. So is Antonetta glamoured too? Stevedor Pate Look, I understand we’re setting up the story and world-building, but nothing is happening. The scenes are too long. They don’t need to be this long. Lol it’s making me think of TJ Maxx. Itinerant Insouciance Venality The crawlers are giving the wheelers from Return to Oz. My verdict is that I do not like this book. It’s boring and slow and obvious. I would rather be reading Six of Crows. King Soloman. Bitch really said let me change a couple of vowels and it’s a different name. Conor and Lin are a lame and obvious couple. Alluvial peripatetic I’m so bored. God, we’re only halfway. This could’ve been two chapters. There’s no action in this book. It’s just endless set dressing. My Fairyloot edition of this book just came and tell me why the prince looks like Adam Lambert, tan Adam Lambert. But also, those boys’ looks do not match their attitude in this book. They’re both such little bitches. Hey, you know what’s icky? Her making deep fake porn of other women and being like lol boys will be boys. We’re at the point where if I was a DNF-er, I would be DNF-ing this book. Not because it’s particularly badly written, but I think it’s just so overwritten that nothing happens. I’m. Bored. A Sam for the count. I know we’re going to have a whole plotline with Antonetta, but like I don’t care about anything in this book. Redolent She really said he’s steampunk Phantom of the Opera. I know she said this is adult, but it’s giving ya. Sybaritic Temerity Chirurgeon I don’t believe this dumb religious book for a second that this loser Judah-a J name-didn’t betray this lady. doxies I feel like Beck’s gonna be a lady. Is it gonna be Antonetta? Some other book taught me the phrase lantern jar this year. OK, so it’s a dude run by Antonetta. That’s basically me being right. So like obviously, Conor got engaged to pay off his debt, no? (Yes.) Literally not a plot twist. I’m so fucking bored. So inside her locket is either the knowledge of who she loves, which is obviously Kel. Which like I guess they could use to manipulate her? Or it’s a fantasy Jewish necklace and she’s in hiding outside of the Sault, and then she has motivation to take down the crown. But also that would be so dumb if you’re like we’re in hiding but then you’re like wearing a necklace that gives away who you are. If he thinks something is wrong with the dude, could it be that he’s wearing a necklace to disguise himself? I like the Maleficent retelling, but it’s literally just Maleficent. Like you took that directly from Maleficent. It’s not your own story. Like it’s literally just like what if Maleficent was Jewish? She said, let’s add Nazis. Also, the country named Malgasi-like male gaze. Like okay, girl. I still can’t decide if I like or loathe that it’s so similar to real life with the races and countries and everything. It makes the world very expansive and easy to understand, but it also feels lazy. Wow, I’m too old for the maidens’ dance. OK, Jamie Fraser. This is so dumb. Like no one was going to enforce this punishment. Also, he could’ve faked passing out before his back was destroyed. Like this is dumb. What is that dialogue? A dying seagull? Oh my god. Emetic Surcease I’d say horny jail, but it’s just so innocent and ya that I can’t say that. Grow the fuck up. I don’t like anyone in this book. I think they’re all awful. The only adult thing in this book is the vocabulary for no goddamn reason. This conversation is so dumb. We know you guys are getting married. She’s not like other girls, she describes herself as peculiar! Get me out of here. I’m having a bad time. Asphodel Shako Do you think we’ll find out what’s in the necklace in this book or will I have to wait? I’m team Vienne. Cause I got a blank space baby ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Nov 10, 2023
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Nov 19, 2023
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May 01, 2023
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Hardcover
| ||||||||||||||
| 1728289645
| 9781728289649
| B0BLHZ9B54
| 3.73
| 7,163
| May 11, 2023
| Jul 11, 2023
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it was ok
|
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read a mess of a ge Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. My Selling Pitch: Do you want to read a mess of a generic YA fantasy romance that feels overwhelmingly like Throne of Glass fanfiction? Pre-reading: The Fairyloot special edition of this is beyond gorgeous, so I’m excited to read it! Thick of it: 80 chapters feels like a punishment. Some of the affinities are super easy to remember because they’re close to the English word, and then others are just purposely hard and dumb. Why? Too many. More punishing of the reader. No because like immediately yes to them. This book is so cliche, but it’s all the shit I like. So I’m seeing a problem. If he can manipulate emotions can’t he create desire and then she’d be able to act on it? Because that’s overpowered. But like immediately yes to Will. Is he every single fantasy MMC? Duh. Do I like it every time? Duh. Okay, but like love triangle with Matthias? (Literally this man didn’t even need to be in this book.) Okay, so her mom is def not dead. (Ask me in book two.) Aya is a Virgo. Tova is an Aries. Will is a Scorpio. I mean I guess she could also be a Cap, but Virgo fits better in my opinion. Wow, pet guard dog wolfies. Tova is a cinnamon girlie. Dual POV oh godbless. There’s a lot of kingdoms lol. It’s overwhelming. Why did they make all the names so similar? Lol, their wolves are bonded. Fourth Wing is calling to make a doggy-style joke. He’s an empath, guys. Oh no. Just kiss, you idiots. Wow, I hope we get lots of spicy bits with them. (We do not.) Oh, so 100% Evie is evil and killed her parents to get the most magic. (Ask me in book 2.) She’s a bit info-dumpy. This is YA/NA lol. There is nothing adult about this book. No, because I love them. I’m so easy to please. But like instantly yes. Okay, so like obvi the both of them are gonna be the all magic types people haha. I don’t care. It’s gonna be fun. (Ask me in book two.) Oh silver fox, baby. ...more |
Notes are private!
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1
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Aug 28, 2023
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Aug 29, 2023
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Apr 05, 2023
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Kindle Edition
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my rating |
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|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
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| 4.51
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really liked it
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Apr 05, 2024
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Mar 31, 2024
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| 3.92
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not set
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Mar 15, 2024
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| 4.12
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liked it
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Apr 21, 2024
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Nov 26, 2023
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| 3.97
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did not like it
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Apr 30, 2024
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Nov 06, 2023
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| 4.21
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it was ok
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Mar 11, 2024
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Oct 19, 2023
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|||||
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| 4.43
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did not like it
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Mar 31, 2024
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Sep 13, 2023
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| 3.62
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did not like it
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Mar 27, 2024
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Aug 28, 2023
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| 3.77
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it was ok
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Jul 19, 2024
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Aug 27, 2023
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| 3.92
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liked it
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Sep 12, 2023
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Aug 26, 2023
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| 3.62
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it was ok
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Oct 22, 2023
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Aug 22, 2023
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| 3.73
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liked it
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Oct 16, 2023
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Aug 15, 2023
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| 3.52
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liked it
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Jan 25, 2024
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Jul 12, 2023
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| Ma, Coco
*
| 4.04
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really liked it
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Sep 24, 2023
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Jun 08, 2023
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| 4.35
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liked it
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Nov 09, 2023
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May 20, 2023
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| 4.57
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liked it
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May 21, 2023
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May 18, 2023
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| 4.07
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liked it
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Jul 22, 2023
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May 16, 2023
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| 3.18
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did not like it
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Feb 29, 2024
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May 11, 2023
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| 4.32
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liked it
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May 10, 2023
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May 08, 2023
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| 3.80
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it was ok
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Nov 19, 2023
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May 01, 2023
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| 3.73
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it was ok
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Aug 29, 2023
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Apr 05, 2023
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