Jilly's Reviews > Dead Ice

When this series started, we had Anita as a sanctimonious, bitchy, fanny-pack wearing "badass" who was obsessed with guns, hated vampires, and only believed in committed, monogamous sex. Twenty four books later, Anita is a sanctimonious, bitchy, dress-wearing "badass" who is obsessed with guns, is marrying a vampire, and believes in polyamory so much that she puts the "poly" in polyamory. So, a few changes.

The problem with the polyamory in this book is that she has so many lovers now that just listing their names takes up too many pages. It's like the book of Numbers in the bible where there is just lists of who begat who. Just substitute the word "begat" with "humped".and so Nathaniel humped Michah..and Michal humped Jean-Claude...and Jean-Claude humped Asher...and Asher humped Dev...and Dev humped Anita who humped Nathaniel, and Micha, and Jean-Claude, and Asher, and some underaged kid, and a couple of women, along with a pack of were-animals or two, and more vampires....


you have to be REALLY old to get this reference. Sorry, kids!

The other thing that is a problem in this book, and would be a major problem if you had a coffee date with Anita, is that it takes FOREVER for her to do anything. She is walking down a hallway to go to work, but then she has a 20-minute confrontation with a sassy guard, and then she has to shower off all the blood, and then she gets in her daily shower fight, and then she stops to have sex with someone on the floor, and then needs another shower, and then has a relationship crisis with one of her lovers, and then she takes another 40 minutes admiring her sweet sweet guns as she straps them onto every part of her body, and don't forget the picking out of the wardrobe - that takes time. Oh shit, the day is now over. Who will she sleep with tonight? Let the negotiations begin!

Yeah, so the actual "mystery" of the book gets completely lost in all of this monotony. She gets a creepy-ass weird case to solve in the first few pages, for the next 400 pages she goes through all the BS of above, then there are a couple pages at the end where the case is all wrapped-up.

This book was in desperate need of someone with a giant red Sharpie. But, just like Anita's love-life, it seems that the author has not heard the philosophy of "less is more" or the word "succinct". And, because of it, much like Anita's love-life, this book is a clusterfuck.