The Color of Magic Quotes

“If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards!”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“No, what he didn't like about heroes was that they were usually suicidally gloomy when sober and homicidally insane when drunk.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“Some pirates achieved immortality by great deeds of cruelty or derring-do. Some achieved immortality by amassing great wealth. But the captain had long ago decided that he would, on the whole, prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“You can't map a sense of humor. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons? On the Discworld we know that There Be Dragons Everywhere. They might not all have scales and forked tongues, but they Be Here all right, grinning and jostling and trying to sell you souvenirs. ”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the discworld. Tourist, Rincewind had decided, meant 'idiot'.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“My name is immaterial,' she said.
That's a pretty name,' said Rincewind.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“On the Disc, the Gods aren't so much worshipped, as they are blamed.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“It is at this point that normal language gives up, and goes and has a drink.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“It was all very well going on about pure logic and how the universe was ruled by logic and the harmony of numbers, but the plain fact of the matter was that the Disc was manifestly traversing space on the back of a giant turtle and the gods had a habit of going round to atheists' houses and smashing their windows.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“If I were you, I'd sue my face for slander.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“Rincewind tried to force the memory out of his mind, but it was rather enjoying itself there, terrorizing the other occupants and kicking over the furniture.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“Every intelligent being, whether it breathes or not, coughs nervously at some time in its life.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“It was octarine, the colour of magic. It was alive and glowing and vibrant and it was the undisputed pigment of the imagination, because wherever it appeared it was a sign that mere matter was a servant of the powers of the magical mind. It was enchantment itself.
But Rincewind always thought it looked a sort of greenish-purple.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“We've strayed into a zone with a high magical index,' he said. 'Don't ask me how. Once upon a time a really powerful magic field must have been generated here, and we're feeling the after-effects.'

Precisely,' said a passing bush.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“Don't you understand?" snarled Rincewind. "We are going over the Edge, godsdammit!"
"Can't we do anything about it?"
"No!"
"Then I can't see the sense in panicking," said Twoflower calmly.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“I’ve seen excitement, and I’ve seen boredom. And boredom was best.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“Sometimes I think a man could wander across the disc all his life and not see everything there is to see,' said Twoflower. 'And now it seems there are lots of other worlds as well. When I think I might die without seeing a hundredth of all there is to see it makes me feel,' he paused, then added, 'well, humble, I suppose. And very angry, of course.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“Magic never dies. It merely fades away.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“In an instant he became aware that the tourist was about to try his own peculiar brand of linguistics, which meant that he would speak loudly and slowly in his own language.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“That's what's so stupid about the whole magic thing, you know. You spend twenty years learning the spell that makes nude virgins appear in your bedroom, and then you're so poisoned by quicksilver fumes and half-blind from reading old grimoires that you can't remember what happens next.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“He thought about how it might be to be, say, a fox confronted with an angry sheep. A sheep moreover, that could afford to employ wolves.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“He talks pretty big for a gutter wizard," he muttered.
"You don't understand at all," said the wizard wearily. "I'm so scared of you my spine has turned to jelly, it's just that I'm suffering from an overdose of terror right now. I mean, when I've got over that then I'll have time to be decently frightened of you.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“On the Disc the gods dealt severely with atheists.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“Oh no, not -'
OF COURSE, WHAT'S SO BLOODY VEXING ABOUT THE WHOLE BUSINESS IS THAT I WAS EXPECTING TO MEET THEE IN PSEPHOPOLOLIS
'But that's five hundred miles away!'
YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME, THE WHOLE SYSTEM'S GOT SCREWED UP AGAIN, I CAN SEE THAT. LOOK, THERE'S NO CHANCE OF YOU-?
Rincewind backed away, hands spread protectively in front of him...
'Not a chance!'
I COULD LEND YOU A VERY FAST HORSE.
'No!'
IT WON'T HURT A BIT.
'No!' Rincewind turned and ran. Death watched him go, and shrugged bitterly.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“Everyone has gods. You just don't think they're gods.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“But in his experience it was only a matter of time before the normal balance of the universe restored itself and started doing the usual terrible things to him.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“[Rincewind] drew his sword and, with a smooth overarm throw, completely failed to hit the troll.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“He wondered what kind of life it would be, having to keep swimming all the time to stay exactly in the same place. Pretty similar to his own, he decided.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic

“My personal theory is that he has a very firm grasp upon reality, it's simply not a reality the rest of us have ever met before.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Color of Magic