Jilly's Reviews > Jovian Tempest

I think I have discovered the absolute worst book ever written! It was only 84 pages and yet I couldn't get through it. Really, it deserves some sort of special award for being so bad.

Let me enlighten you on how horrifyingly bad a book about an alien war coming to Earth can be:

Our heroine is a 40 year old slutty woman who sexually molests an unconscious alien male while searching for her fiance - who may be dead - AND inside of a helicopter that crashed during a hurricane with two dead pilots in the front seat.

Said slutty woman is very very slutty. She is described in excruciating detail about how "hot" she is, and she has sex with the hotel concierge and then tells him to go home to his girlfriend and bang her.

Sluttty woman is a professor and scientist who likes to keep at least three young males on her staff "for their looks" so she could seduce them.

We are given waaaay too much information about their sexual encounter, using lovely words like: mountainous orbs of tit flesh, meat monster, and sex button. *gags a little*

Speaking of waaaay too much information. Between the crazy sex and the OTT descriptions of Dr. Slutty's underpants, we get tedious and boring descriptions of things such as her team ordering dinner and eating it. Seriously, we get the entire play-by-play of them being seated, getting menus, ordering, eating, and the waitstaff's interaction with them. Thank you for teaching us about how restaurant dining works Dr. Slutty! We were all raised in an igloo with none of those fancy food-serving thingamabobs around.

We also get endless descriptions of government jobs & departments, chain of commands, and what each building looks like in detail. It's shoot-yourself-in-the-head, mind-numbingly boring and tedious.

But, hey what did I expect from a book that is all about two warring alien races living on Earth? Entertainment? That's just crazy talk!