I can't do this right now. It's not the right time for something this deep, moving, and full of pain. Yes, the writing is amazing. I could see this beI can't do this right now. It's not the right time for something this deep, moving, and full of pain. Yes, the writing is amazing. I could see this being a HUGE book because of how it grips you. But, the hell-in-a-handbasket ride is taking all of my focus right now and the last thing I need is for Debbie Downer to jump in my handbasket with me.
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Maybe I will pick this back up when happy-happy-fun-times return. Or, you know, normal life.
I didn't realize this book was going to switch back and forth between the MC's POV and a 14-yr old girl's POV in a middle school angsty crisis. I may I didn't realize this book was going to switch back and forth between the MC's POV and a 14-yr old girl's POV in a middle school angsty crisis. I may come back to it, but I doubt it.
Okay, so I have been actively rooting for the bad guys to kill, or at least inflict a little pain upon, the heroine. That was a bad sign. But, when I Okay, so I have been actively rooting for the bad guys to kill, or at least inflict a little pain upon, the heroine. That was a bad sign. But, when I finally hit the sex scene and I felt like I was going to throw up a little bit, I knew it was time to ditch this book. So, I am calling it at 70%.
[image] It's not me, it's you.
So, you know those older women who are volunteers at the school or library, or maybe they are the "team mom" and they consider this their domain of power? You know who I mean. They take themselves so seriously and wield their authority like they are the CEO of Who Gives A Shit Inc... Even at our old church, you didn't mess with the ladies in charge of the doughnuts. They didn't take your shit. How dare you think you can volunteer for a church job and not realize that means that you are now a threat to some dried-up hags who aren't getting enough at home and therefore they hate everyone who has any joy in their lives.
That's our heroine.
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She is so horrible. I just can't even. She's a 50 yr old spinster who rules the library with an iron fist. So, when this new guy comes along and dares to open an annex to the library, well, she's not allowing him to take HER power and books. No. It doesn't matter if having a second location would be better for the community, or that she doesn't even have to see the guy. He exists, and she must squash him.
"She couldn't let this gambit of his, to exert his will, his control on her Library go unanswered... [image]
He's our hero. A complete dorkus who is apparently hot for the woman who treats him like human waste.
[image] so many questions about what's going on here....
The idea that anyone would ever have sex with this woman just isn't plausible. Nobody, I don't care how desperate would do it. I don't care how often you tell me that she is "hot" - I'm not buying it. Her personality is the best birth control on the planet. The sentence that made me finally ditch the book.... after dry heaving was this one:
What the fuck, series? You used to be cool. I almost forgot to let you all know that I dnf'ed the crap out of this book. The series started fun, then goWhat the fuck, series? You used to be cool. I almost forgot to let you all know that I dnf'ed the crap out of this book. The series started fun, then got serious, and finally just dove off the cliffs of insanity. (Princess Bride, anyone?)
[image] Yes, they do. This book was the byproduct of one. In other words, the biggest piece of shit that shouldn't have ever been.
Oh, I'm being mean? Tough. I had high hopes. I gave good scores to the first book. Promises were implied. Trusts were broken.
[image] And that pain was greatly increased by this book.
The book is like a crazy grandma who traps you at a family holiday party and holds you prisoner while she tells you the story of her trip to the yarn store. Every few words, she gets reminded of another story that she then has to tell you, which reminds her of another one, and so on until you want to scream, but then she goes back to the yarn-story every once in a while because that's the story you NEED to hear.
[image] And suddenly you're the bad guy who "ruins Christmas" because you got drunk to deal with it all and may or may not have made-out with a cousin's husband in the bedroom with all the coats on the bed.
Yeah. So, just like that.... and maybe this review.... the book rambles on and on without ever getting to the bloody point. Any point. It was as pointless as trying to steal coats from a family party and realizing yours is the only one you would be caught dead in. Useless fucking family with bad fashion sense. Useless book....more
I've never been able to finish reading an entire satire book. I start them, laugh at the absurdity and have a great time for a while, but then I quit I've never been able to finish reading an entire satire book. I start them, laugh at the absurdity and have a great time for a while, but then I quit reading them. Once I've got the point they are trying to make, and have a few laughs at whatever-they-are-making-fun-of's expense, I don't see the point of going on. It gets monotonous and loses its humor for me.
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This book is a dystopian set in an extreme consumer-driven world. Basically, a company that is definitely not Amazon has taken over and all pretense of us not being not-Amazon's bitch has been dropped. We have admitted that we have a problem and not-Amazon has solved it for us. With stuff and free shipping.
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There are alternating stories going on, with little blurbs that are "advertising" for Qualityland in between, but the main hero is a complete loser named Peter. He runs a shop that scraps used robots and other broken electronics because it is now illegal to fix or recycle things. Buy a new one instead! But, as I said, he's a loser, so he can't even kill robots correctly. Instead he keeps a basement full of broken robots and they are his only friends.... and maybe potential army? Let's face it, this guy has incel written all over him.
[image] Kinda brutal, kitty. But, true!
Since in this world not-Amazon is god, packages are automatically delivered to each person according to what they want and need (as determined by the company). There is no more of that pesky ordering or shopping... or control of your own finances. But, one day Peter gets a delivery of a pink dolphin vibrator that he doesn't want or need. Trying to take it back is harder than cancelling a gym membership.
[image] Ooooh, a strongly worded letter. That'll show 'em.
Like I said, I didn't finish the book because it was just too much after a while. It is like binge-watching Black Mirror or being stuck in a room with an uppity hipster.. Eventually you just want to say, "Enough already! I get it! Technology evil. People suck. Robots are going to kill us all. Whatever."
[image] I've got my robot-apocalypse guide.
If you are a fan of Black Mirror, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, or Brave New World, you might like this....more
The book is awesome, don't get me wrong. I'm just not in a kid-toMe reading this book right now looks like this:
[image] Yeah, I'm not going to make it.
The book is awesome, don't get me wrong. I'm just not in a kid-torture kind of mood. I'm at that point in my life right now where I need no-kids-crying-at-the-hands-of-sadists in my reading. I just don't want to make the emotional investment that sad children take. It's not you, book, it's me.
Okay, so this book is about a bunch of elves, specifically the prince of the elves, and apparently they are the ancestoBeware of free books on Amazon.
Okay, so this book is about a bunch of elves, specifically the prince of the elves, and apparently they are the ancestors of vampires who were elves that turned evil. They drink blood, but they also eat fruits and vegetables. I've got to wonder here: have they tried meat? Maybe they don't necessarily need blood, but just crave protein. How do you go from needing a little protein to thinking that the only way to get it is by drinking blood? I'm guessing these guys could just eat a steak and be fine. Of course, I'm from Texas. Our motto is: eat meat. Yeah, we are a simple-fix kinda people. Feeling peckish? Eat some barbecue and you will perk right up. You want some fat with your protein? We can chicken-fry your steak. Problem solved!
[image] Food pyramid or circles of Heaven? Turns out it's both.
Plus, these guys are elves, right? So what, are they biting ankles? Do we need to go around wearing shin guards? Watch out, ladies. Those sexy little elves are going to be all over your pedicure! [image] Those little suckers are mean. They really need a burger.
So our human heroine is a doctor/scientist who is drooling over some hot immortal guy who is unconscious on her lab slab. You know, like doctors do. I can't even tell you how many times my gynecologist told me that I'm hot. Of course, that could have been the gonorrhea, but that's a different story for a different day. Oh Vegas. You give so much and ask for so little. Well, except for all of our money.
Anywhooo, the unconscious dude wakes up and bites her which binds her to him for all of eternity. *sigh*
Even all of that would have been fine if the story moved along at a normal pace. But it didn't. It was so excruciatingly slow that I needed a steak just to stop myself from killing everyone in the room by draining their blood.
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So, maybe that's what happened with these "evil" elves. They were forced to read books like this and said, "fuck this shit. I'm going on a killing spree." That feels like the true story behind the vampire lore here.
I really did read a lot longer than most people who reviewed this book. I gave it a chance. But, I'm too old for this shit. I'll be dead before the story is over, and I'd probably be happy to die just for it to end. Plus:
Right after I go on and on about how this author writes great female characters, this train wreck happens. I can't even keep reading. It's like some sRight after I go on and on about how this author writes great female characters, this train wreck happens. I can't even keep reading. It's like some sort of medieval torture to continue. Just fucking kill me and get it over with already!
Our hero is a guy who has short-term memory loss and wakes up with a blank slate every morning. So, we get to go through his morning routine over and over and over again. "Fun." said no one ever.
Our heroine is a girl who is supposedly a psychologist and a "seer" meaning she could see the past when she touches someone's skin. She fails in every way for both of these jobs. First, as a psychologist because all of the thoughts going through her head at all times are selfish. Then, she finds this guy in the hospital with memory loss and she treats him like shit when he's rude. Aww, was the patient who was terribly injured, is scared, and can't remember what happened cranky and it hurt your widdle feelings? Get a new job, princess! You ain't cut out for dealing with real people. Because, see, even without a medical degree I get the fact that people might be a little cranky when they are in pain and afraid. Shessh!
[image] She fills out her daily report after work.
Secondly, she fails at the "seer" title because she can't even do that right. All she "sees" is her having sex with the memory-loss dude and it haunts her day and night. She thinks this must mean she is going crazy, and avoids him like the plague. Really? If having sexual fantasies about unattainable men means we are going crazy, then all men are right about us: Bitches be crazy. Also, bring it on!
But, even those two things were forgivable for a book character if she hadn't been a boring asshole. She continually talks about how structured her life is. She heavily controls everything in her life: eats only healthy foods without deviating, meditates, yoga, vitamins, sleeping the perfect amount of hours. And, even that would have been forgivable if she didn't talk about it on every fucking page of the book. We get it! You are a boring, lifeless ball of cells that exist only in order to tell everyone about how healthy you live. Go eat some kale or something and shut the hell up!
She's one of these for sure: [image] Gets egged every year.
Even, hating her, the story was boring. It had the ingredients for an exciting story: sea monsters, death, treasure... But, it didn't deliver because of the fact that it was one of those time-travel type things where you read the same scenes over and over again, with maybe a thing or two added. It was brutally redundant.
Still, even after this hot mess, I am continuing on the series because I still like the town, this world, and usually the characters. Mistakes were made here, but it's salvageable....more
I'm mostly writing this review to remind myself that I have tried to read this book twice now and keep putting it down. I need to give it up, man. It'I'm mostly writing this review to remind myself that I have tried to read this book twice now and keep putting it down. I need to give it up, man. It's not happening between me and this book.
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Why? It's depressing, and then boring, and then depressing again. If I wanted to experience something like that, I would go bathing suit shopping, then toaster shopping, and then bathing suit shopping again. And, I don't want to do that. I really don't want to do that.
[image] The struggle is real.
So, what do I mean? Okay, the book goes back and forth between the everyday life of a very unlikable, bland character, and the story of another woman who was kidnapped and lives in captivity. So, one chapter has our main character, who, by the way, has the stupid name syndrome: Bodine Longbow, going to meetings, hiring a waiter, and reheating her dinner in the oven. *shoot me now* Then, we have a chapter of some poor girl being repeatedly raped, beaten, and tortured. It's horrible. Followed by a chapter of Bodine riding her horse around.
[image] Just getting ready for the next chapter....
Yeah, so, I decided that maybe this book isn't exactly what my psychiatrist meant when he said to take it easy and learn a new hobby. I mean, sure, that knot-tying lesson was instructional, but I might try painting instead next time. Happy little trees, here I come! ...more
Page 18: "(he) realized with happy dismay that he was falling in love with a woman he knew nothing about, not even her last name"
*Sigh* Not, just thPage 18: "(he) realized with happy dismay that he was falling in love with a woman he knew nothing about, not even her last name"
*Sigh* Not, just that he didn't know her last name, although that seems pertinent. He had seen this woman once and spoke to her once for less than 5 minutes.
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And, he does find her in his house because she is trying to protect him from the people who want to kill him. She's sleeping on his couch and he decides to stroke her head while she's asleep. He then asks her to marry him and "wasn't really joking".
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On the plus side, he is a doctor. I guess some might be willing to put up with a whole lot of crazy to land an attractive doctor. But, not me. I have to be the crazy one in the relationship. My guy has to be stable. There's only so much that the meds can do, ya know.
I dnf'ed this book because I couldn't handle it, but I admit that the doctor was funny. The book was just too stupid for me to read. Of course, don't tell the book that I broke up with it. I don't need it drunk-dialing me in the middle of the night to beg me to come back and read it.
[image] Listen, book. It's not you, it's me. I'm going through some things right now. I can't commit to reading you, but we can be friends. You know... far-away friends.
[image] Book. What did I say? What did the police say? You know you are supposed to stay 50 feet away.
[image] Goddammit, book! Gimme those binoculars back and stay out of my bushes!
Look, I know I was supposed to love this one cuz y'all did, but I just couldn't!! She's a lady asshole. A lasshole. Her and her "edgy" friend are the kiLook, I know I was supposed to love this one cuz y'all did, but I just couldn't!! She's a lady asshole. A lasshole. Her and her "edgy" friend are the kind of girls that are NOT in the tribe. They are the judgy girls who cut other girls down because they are just that cool. If you need to cut another girl down to prove to yourself and others how cool you are, you aren't. You're just a mean girl and need to be hit by a bus.
I can't. DNF at 8%. I'm sorry everyone who loved it, but I'm upset at how the victim heroine is being treated by the guy who will be her love interest.I can't. DNF at 8%. I'm sorry everyone who loved it, but I'm upset at how the victim heroine is being treated by the guy who will be her love interest. I am reading, and she is just trapped and victimized every single second and it's driving me batty. Maybe I'm just not in the right mood for this right now. I'll try it again another time....more
Usually when I shelve a book on my "Too Stupid to Live" shelf, it is because of the stupidity of the characters in the book. But, in this case, I am aUsually when I shelve a book on my "Too Stupid to Live" shelf, it is because of the stupidity of the characters in the book. But, in this case, I am adding myself to the mix for reading it. I think I lost brain cells while reading this crappy book.
[image] I tried to take this test to find out, but it didn't seem to work. They didn't even ask me any questions. Weird.
The only good thing about reading this was reading it with the crazy ladies at the MacHalo group. Misery loves company and all that.
So, you might like this book... if you are a rapist. Our hero is a rapist, and so are all of the male characters. It's their thing. Every group has a thing.
But, raping isn't all that's happening here (just the main thing). There is also terrible and stupid dialogue, ridiculously idiotic situations, and an asinine plot. (Notice how I found so many words to say "crappy"? Thank you, Thesaurus!)
[image] How .. .um what's the word?... sad-making.
[image] Oh yeah. Terrible. That's the word I was looking for.
Anywhoooo, here's a quote from the craptastically crappy crap-fest:
How could his hands, stained with the blood of innocent souls, make her flesh tingle and burn?
Depends. Was the tingling and burning stronger upon urination? It could be the gonorrhea. He's done a lot of raping.
So, if you like rapists, and stupid people, you will like this book.
Oh hell no. I can't read this crap! So far, I haven't read any trace of original thought, dialogue, situation, characters, or anything else. If you takeOh hell no. I can't read this crap! So far, I haven't read any trace of original thought, dialogue, situation, characters, or anything else. If you take every alpha-male protector trope and squish it together in a terrible way, you have this book. DNF...more
I'm not going to rate this because I only made it about halfway through. It's not the book's fault, on the contrary, this seems like a good YA book abI'm not going to rate this because I only made it about halfway through. It's not the book's fault, on the contrary, this seems like a good YA book about a girl who picks up ghost hitchhikers. The problem is the timing for me. I'm leaving on a week long cruise tomorrow morning and I've been too busy and distracted to really give this book a chance. Maybe I'll get back to it someday.
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Don't let the cover of this book throw you off. It is not sci-fi but paranormal. Think "teens with powers" like X-Men.
I'm in a weird book space right now. Trying new things and them NOT working out. Is this what Hey, It's me.
[image] I know. I didn't even rate this one.
I'm in a weird book space right now. Trying new things and them NOT working out. Is this what people mean when they say they are in a book funk? Cuz, I've never had one yet, so I guess I might be excited that I get to have a turn. There should be a book to help with this.
[image] There's a book for everything, right?
This book is written in the second person narration. So, it is all "you are walking here and there. You see a cat. You pet it." And, I'm all "Don't tell me what to do, book!" Plus, I would never pet a cat. I'm strictly in the dog category. By the way, Science has ended the dispute today. Dogs are smarter. Told ya so.
[image] The signs were there.
I really couldn't get over this narration. Especially when the book told me that I was a bald dude in the army. I would totally have hair if I were a guy. I think I was offended by that. Except, I was too busy imagining that I had a penis and testicles. They seem like they would be uncomfortable to me. I don't know. It just felt wrong.
[image] Invisible or not, all evidence points to itchy.
Yeah, I like being a girl.
Also, I'm not a fan of second person narration. So, I didn't finish this and I'm going back to "normal books" like vampire romances, crime-solving manic pixies, and historical fiction in which everyone is NOT smelly and lives past 30 with a beautiful man. You know, reality.
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