My friend Abby promised me her soul if I would join her smutty book reading club. Don't tell her but I would have joined just for the fun. Sucker!
[imaMy friend Abby promised me her soul if I would join her smutty book reading club. Don't tell her but I would have joined just for the fun. Sucker!
[image] Since it's erotica I'll use a sexy pic. You're welcome.
So, this was our first book.
Let me start by saying, "Wow."
Talk about setting a low bar! It will be literally impossible to pick a book that is worse than this one. It's a brilliant move.
Every book we read from here on out will look like a fucking masterpiece after having experienced the dry-heave of reading this.
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And, get this: it ended on a cliff-hanger! The mermaid fucks some rando in the ocean and they are making plans for living together in happiness forever. Included in the.. um... story... is every fish pun possible, and dicks are called eels. Is that coral in his pocket?
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Yes, it's that good. Someone published it. But their name is Shady Fae. Hmmmm.
Usually when I shelve a book on my "Too Stupid to Live" shelf, it is because of the stupidity of the characters in the book. But, in this case, I am aUsually when I shelve a book on my "Too Stupid to Live" shelf, it is because of the stupidity of the characters in the book. But, in this case, I am adding myself to the mix for reading it. I think I lost brain cells while reading this crappy book.
[image] I tried to take this test to find out, but it didn't seem to work. They didn't even ask me any questions. Weird.
The only good thing about reading this was reading it with the crazy ladies at the MacHalo group. Misery loves company and all that.
So, you might like this book... if you are a rapist. Our hero is a rapist, and so are all of the male characters. It's their thing. Every group has a thing.
But, raping isn't all that's happening here (just the main thing). There is also terrible and stupid dialogue, ridiculously idiotic situations, and an asinine plot. (Notice how I found so many words to say "crappy"? Thank you, Thesaurus!)
[image] How .. .um what's the word?... sad-making.
[image] Oh yeah. Terrible. That's the word I was looking for.
Anywhoooo, here's a quote from the craptastically crappy crap-fest:
How could his hands, stained with the blood of innocent souls, make her flesh tingle and burn?
Depends. Was the tingling and burning stronger upon urination? It could be the gonorrhea. He's done a lot of raping.
So, if you like rapists, and stupid people, you will like this book.
The best part of reading this was doing a buddy read with the MacHalo group. If you want to join a fun and active reading group, join this one. They aThe best part of reading this was doing a buddy read with the MacHalo group. If you want to join a fun and active reading group, join this one. They are not crazy, but definitely pushing the boundaries pretty hard. You can even get away with barely participating, like me, and still be a happy member.
Okay, now that the commercial is over.
So, this book was about a witch, Paige, who has custody of a seriously bratty teenager who has strong magic. Let's just say that rebellious bratty kids with the power to hex adults is a really really bad idea. We learn this a few times when her little spells ended up in much bloodshed.
But, there are others who want bratty teen-witch for their own, and they are suing Paige for custody. Yes, this book is a custody battle. And, like all legal battles, there will be lying, scheming, murder, mayhem, zombies... and worst of all- lawyers...
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For the first part of the book I was seriously wondering if I could get through it. There were summons', legal maneuvering, and depositions going on. It was that same feeling as when we all got excited that the Star Wars franchise was going to make prequels and then we got senate meetings for two hours.
[image] Oh my gosh, could they ruin it any more than this?
[image] Yes. Yes, they could.
Luckily, this was no regular legal battle, though. There was a hella lot more killing going on. So, it wasn't too boring. Just a bit boring.
Speaking of boring... our heroine meets her hero in the form of a young lawyer that is going to help her. She describes him as looking bland. She says that he's the kind of person you see and then forget a minute later. I would also describe his personality as bland. He's the kind of guy that won't laugh at a joke, but will point out the scientific errors in it. He's the kind of guy who will tell you when it is appropriate to use the word "whom". Stand back, ladies, he's taken!
[image] Yes, our hero is a Hispanic version of Dwight. I'm not sure about his stance on beets.
Much like Dwight, though, this guy grows on you. He is always there for Paige when she needs him, and he is very steady in every way. I know, I know, your ovaries are probably quivering by now, but like I said, he's taken. You missed your shot.
Overall, when it came to rating this book and I was hovering over the stars, when the two-star rating came up as "it was okay", I felt like it completely captured my complex feelings over this book. It's like a mind-reader or something.
Will I read the next one? Maybe, if it is with the group. No, if it is dependent upon my motivation to read it on my own.
The 50 pages of actual story was pretty good. It was the over 200 pages of filler that bored me. I don't know what exactly is going on here, but someoThe 50 pages of actual story was pretty good. It was the over 200 pages of filler that bored me. I don't know what exactly is going on here, but someone needs to get their head in the game! This one was phoned in for sure.
[image] I have a mildly interesting story to tell you
So, in this one we have Ethan and Merit going to a baseball game only to discover a dead body near some writing that seems to be magical in nature. They are trying to decipher the writing, which they think is linked to alchemy, while also trying to figure out who is behind the murder. Eventually, they figure it out and stop the evil plans and predictable villain. It was pretty cut and dry.
Here's the problem: the writing that is magical alchemy? We are treated to every bit of minutia as they are trying to decipher it. And, we get to hear Merit and Ethan and everyone in between tell other people about the writing in detail. It's like hanging around with a bunch of math geeks who are enraptured by an exciting new equation. Boring! It was boring the first time we read about it, and it was boring the 20th time they told someone else about it. And, IF there is anything interesting about solving algebraic problems, it is the getting the answer part. So, do they "break the code" and get the right answer? No, no they don't. Instead we get a deus ex machina save.
[image] aww, thank you, Science Cat. That explains everything!
If there was anything good about this book, it would be that you don't have to worry about reading the last one first to remember what's going on because we are given endless recaps. Endless.
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Not only was I terribly disappointed in this book, but so was my book-wife, Sarah.
In the past year, Dublin had transformed from an everyday urban dwelling with a touch of magic to a chillingly magical city with a touch of normal.In the past year, Dublin had transformed from an everyday urban dwelling with a touch of magic to a chillingly magical city with a touch of normal.
Old-school Fever fans should be extremely happy with this book after the last two in the series. It has that feel about it that seemed to have been missing in Iced and Burned. We get Mac's POV, but we aren't only angsting over Barrons too much. The main focus isn't on their relationship, like in Burned. I would say that the biggest focus in this book is Dani/Jada, and everyone dealing with her grown-up form. And, luckily, we get Dancer back, who does a great job of trying to get the group to see that they've been unfair to Jada, who has lived in hell for the past five years alone only to come back and have everyone hate her hardened form. They didn't consider what she must have been through to become "Jada", just that they were disappointed that she wasn't 14-yr old Dani anymore.
Dancer said: "She wants to be Jada, I'm fine with it. She wants to be Dani, I'm fine with it. Quit looking at it like Jada killed Dani. Figure out how to appreciate both sides of her personality...
Your rejection of Jada stems from how guilty you feel about what happened to her and that's all about your hangups, not hers..."
Although, I wish he wouldn't have helped Ryodan by opening his eyes about this because I'm not on the Dani/Ryo ship in any way. Ryodan is a complete and utter asshole. He's overbearing, rude, and completely unconcerned about the feelings of others. I don't understand in any way how anyone can find anything attractive about his personality.
My reasons for hating Ryodan:
First off, he breaks the rules of the Nine and tells them "tough shit" basically, all while hurting Christian's family. He cannot care less about how his actions in this case are hurting so many others because he wants to play and experiment with turning others into whatever the hell he is. Why? So he can turn Dani/Jada....probably against her will. But, isn't that sweet and caring? Besides, what about the extent he went to during the fire for her? NO. It is all still selfishly motivated because he considers Dani his possession. And, "he isn't going to let anything happen to something that belongs to him." (His words)
Later, he purposely doesn't disclose where Kat is when her long-term boyfriend comes to him for help because she's been missing for weeks. He has even been checking the dead every few days to make sure she's not one of them.
Mac:"you need to let him know somehow that she's all right."
"Because it's not fair," he mocked.
"Because there's no need to inflict suffering if you can prevent it."
"He'll brood, he'll pine. She'll return. He'll get over it."
Dick!
I seem to remember when Dani went missing for a very short time and he went ballistic. But, only his feelings matter to him - no one else's.
And, let's not forget what he did during the fire to prove a certain point to Dani..(view spoiler)[ Cutting open Shazam in front of her face when she was obviously having a breakdown? Having a temper tantrum while a girl was so distressed that he sends her into shock? Maybe he wouldn't have been burned so badly if he hadn't taken the time to do this. (hide spoiler)]
Plus, his entire treatment of Mac is deplorable. If my husband's friend talked to me like he talks to her? He wouldn't be seeing my husband anymore. Ryodan's a disrespectful asshole to both Barrons and Mac by the way he treats her.
I can list more times when Ryodan is a complete douchebag, but then I would have to quote absolutely every exchange he has with anyone in the book.
[image] So, STFU Ryodan!
The best part of this story was seeing Jada develop and struggle to find herself in a world that stood still while she was out in a battlefield. It was also nice to have Dancer back, and to see Christian's development. There is a cliffhanger that should make the next book really interesting too.
All in all, this is the happiest I've been about a book in this series for a long time. Now, it's just waiting for another year for the next one...
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