ETA: I really bounced around the idea of how to rate this book because the ending really messed up a good thing, but I decided to forgive it and rate ETA: I really bounced around the idea of how to rate this book because the ending really messed up a good thing, but I decided to forgive it and rate it high. However, after discussion with my friend, Emer, I realized that I shouldn't have been so forgiving because the messed-up part of things is really personal to many people. So, I've decided to change my rating out of respect for those women. You can read Emer's review here .
Original review:
First, I'm going to give you the warnings that I wish someone had given me, even though I should have read more reviews before reading. But, I'm lazy. Anyway, there is angst galore, the major problem in the book could have been cured by a conversation, and then something really bad happens. Nuff said.
The heroine is a girl that I could see really liking. She is snarky and fun, plus she has a mini dog named Stuntman Mike. So, I would even just like her for the dog.
[image]
The set-up is that a girl and guy are falling for each other, but she has issues so she continually rejects him over and over again for the entire book. There is so much angst that you might want to consider taking a valium just to not get too wrapped up in their shit. And, then comes the crying. For you. Yes, she cries a lot too, especially for someone who never says she cries. Also, she plays head games with the guy a lot after she said she doesn't do that.... Hmmm, so she's kind of a liar. But, the point is, this is one of those books that will make you cry. No, not me. I'm dead inside. But you. You might cry. I was just sad for a bit - which is as close as I get. Luckily, I have a cure for sadness. It's called alcohol. You should try that sometime. It works!
That sounds bad, right? But, I still enjoyed the book overall because there were a lot of funny moments and I liked all of the characters. The writing was good, and the dialogue was good too. See? Good.
[image] Yeah, you guys don't have to deal with that kind of stuff with me. Everything is good.
Merged review:
ETA: I really bounced around the idea of how to rate this book because the ending really messed up a good thing, but I decided to forgive it and rate it high. However, after discussion with my friend, Emer, I realized that I shouldn't have been so forgiving because the messed-up part of things is really personal to many people. So, I've decided to change my rating out of respect for those women. You can read Emer's review here .
Original review:
First, I'm going to give you the warnings that I wish someone had given me, even though I should have read more reviews before reading. But, I'm lazy. Anyway, there is angst galore, the major problem in the book could have been cured by a conversation, and then something really bad happens. Nuff said.
The heroine is a girl that I could see really liking. She is snarky and fun, plus she has a mini dog named Stuntman Mike. So, I would even just like her for the dog.
[image]
The set-up is that a girl and guy are falling for each other, but she has issues so she continually rejects him over and over again for the entire book. There is so much angst that you might want to consider taking a valium just to not get too wrapped up in their shit. And, then comes the crying. For you. Yes, she cries a lot too, especially for someone who never says she cries. Also, she plays head games with the guy a lot after she said she doesn't do that.... Hmmm, so she's kind of a liar. But, the point is, this is one of those books that will make you cry. No, not me. I'm dead inside. But you. You might cry. I was just sad for a bit - which is as close as I get. Luckily, I have a cure for sadness. It's called alcohol. You should try that sometime. It works!
That sounds bad, right? But, I still enjoyed the book overall because there were a lot of funny moments and I liked all of the characters. The writing was good, and the dialogue was good too. See? Good.
[image] Yeah, you guys don't have to deal with that kind of stuff with me. Everything is good....more
First, let me take this moment to congratulate myself on reading a BOOK THREE in a series where I haven't read the first two yet. This is the first tiFirst, let me take this moment to congratulate myself on reading a BOOK THREE in a series where I haven't read the first two yet. This is the first time I've ever done that. I'm so ocd about those kind of things that I will occasionally read an entire series if the book I want to read is in a spin-off series. I've read over 20 books just to get to a book I wanted to read before. So, this is progress. I'm a little less crazy today, folks. Just a little.
[image] See, it's mystique. Stop trying to give me pills to kill my mystique!
Here's what I discovered during this not-crazyathon: it didn't matter. I read this book without any feeling of not having all of the information needed. So, now I am in an existential crisis. Did all of those shitty books I read just to get to the book I wanted to read mean nothing? Could I have been doing this all along? Cheating works? It's like my whole life is a lie.
[image] See? I didn't even know this. I wonder what else I don't know.
Alright, I know, you aren't here to read about my not-craziness. You want to know why I gave a book with THAT cover a 5-star review. I mean, that cover? Come on! My dog could have drawn a better cover. Oh, or that painting elephant? I love that guy!
[image] What the hell? Another elephant picture? You're so obsessed with yourself!
Selfie-elephant should get hired by Ilona Andrews too. Oh, and the people who made this book cover:
[image] Jesus? Are you back? Why did you come back as a bigfoot? And, who's that girl?
Oh yeah, the book. I got distracted for a minute by the beauty of that last picture. So many questions.....
Our book starts with the caught-the-boyfriend-schtupping-the-intern scene, so our heroine, Avalon, takes off into the wilds of middle-California where the west is still wild, but you can still get a good gluten-free, vegan soy latte. She's not an animal. While she is sleeping in her old twin bed at the parent's house, she finds out that there is a big old house for sale, and it just so happens to be the former home of her teenage crush. It's a good thing her ex decided to do the intern yesterday because a day or two later and she wouldn't have had the chance to make a stupid decision and buy the house of her old boyfriend. I guess it could have been worse.
She could have decided to read this instead: [image] *shudder* Wait, is the word sexual really on the cover of that book? *shudder harder*
Oh, and the coincidences! They keep coming! It just so happens that her teenage loverboy is ALSO back home and wants to buy the house! What were the odds? She wins the auction. Because, you know, girls are better than boys. But, don't be dismayed, he lives on the same spot of land. So, you know, they can cute-fight over the property. He and Avalon get into an epic show-down of pranks, and that is part of what makes this book totally worth it. It was hilarious! And, then they were hilarious together. Hilarity ensued.
There were nudists, manure, and the worst song ever known to the 1980's. I couldn't help but admire the ways they made each other suffer.
Of course they start hooking up! You knew it was coming the whole time. And, they were even funny then.
“We are really good at it,” she allowed...
“Yeah. I liked the way we kept affirming each other. ‘Yes, oh yes!’” he mimicked.
She gave a quick shout of laughter.
I loved this couple. The story was cheesy, but I didn't care at all. The writing was great. The dialogue was absolutely awesome, and the HEA made me happy. Call me crazy, but this was one helluva fun book.
[image] Oh yeah. I almost forgot. Thanks.
Merged review:
First, let me take this moment to congratulate myself on reading a BOOK THREE in a series where I haven't read the first two yet. This is the first time I've ever done that. I'm so ocd about those kind of things that I will occasionally read an entire series if the book I want to read is in a spin-off series. I've read over 20 books just to get to a book I wanted to read before. So, this is progress. I'm a little less crazy today, folks. Just a little.
[image] See, it's mystique. Stop trying to give me pills to kill my mystique!
Here's what I discovered during this not-crazyathon: it didn't matter. I read this book without any feeling of not having all of the information needed. So, now I am in an existential crisis. Did all of those shitty books I read just to get to the book I wanted to read mean nothing? Could I have been doing this all along? Cheating works? It's like my whole life is a lie.
[image] See? I didn't even know this. I wonder what else I don't know.
Alright, I know, you aren't here to read about my not-craziness. You want to know why I gave a book with THAT cover a 5-star review. I mean, that cover? Come on! My dog could have drawn a better cover. Oh, or that painting elephant? I love that guy!
[image] What the hell? Another elephant picture? You're so obsessed with yourself!
Selfie-elephant should get hired by Ilona Andrews too. Oh, and the people who made this book cover:
[image] Jesus? Are you back? Why did you come back as a bigfoot? And, who's that girl?
Oh yeah, the book. I got distracted for a minute by the beauty of that last picture. So many questions.....
Our book starts with the caught-the-boyfriend-schtupping-the-intern scene, so our heroine, Avalon, takes off into the wilds of middle-California where the west is still wild, but you can still get a good gluten-free, vegan soy latte. She's not an animal. While she is sleeping in her old twin bed at the parent's house, she finds out that there is a big old house for sale, and it just so happens to be the former home of her teenage crush. It's a good thing her ex decided to do the intern yesterday because a day or two later and she wouldn't have had the chance to make a stupid decision and buy the house of her old boyfriend. I guess it could have been worse.
She could have decided to read this instead: [image] *shudder* Wait, is the word sexual really on the cover of that book? *shudder harder*
Oh, and the coincidences! They keep coming! It just so happens that her teenage loverboy is ALSO back home and wants to buy the house! What were the odds? She wins the auction. Because, you know, girls are better than boys. But, don't be dismayed, he lives on the same spot of land. So, you know, they can cute-fight over the property. He and Avalon get into an epic show-down of pranks, and that is part of what makes this book totally worth it. It was hilarious! And, then they were hilarious together. Hilarity ensued.
There were nudists, manure, and the worst song ever known to the 1980's. I couldn't help but admire the ways they made each other suffer.
Of course they start hooking up! You knew it was coming the whole time. And, they were even funny then.
“We are really good at it,” she allowed...
“Yeah. I liked the way we kept affirming each other. ‘Yes, oh yes!’” he mimicked.
She gave a quick shout of laughter.
I loved this couple. The story was cheesy, but I didn't care at all. The writing was great. The dialogue was absolutely awesome, and the HEA made me happy. Call me crazy, but this was one helluva fun book.
I needed a laugh and the town of Licking Thicket always provides. Always. I don't even want to spoil it for anyone by quoting my favorite funny parts. I needed a laugh and the town of Licking Thicket always provides. Always. I don't even want to spoil it for anyone by quoting my favorite funny parts. It's too good. You need to experience it for yourself. Start with the first book. You will not be sorry.
Okay, so in this one we have a best friends to lovers story between Tucker and Dunn. Tucker is the town doctor and gay. He is hopelessly in love with his straight best friend. Psshhh. That never happens!
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Dunn is a dairy farmer and is a completely lovable idiot. He loves Tucker soooooo much, and wants to help him find the perfect guy for him. Which means a series of terrible blind date set-ups. Funny how Dunn keeps picking the worst guys ever for Tuck. Hmmm.
Dunn knows he loves Tucker, but he doesn't think he is gay so he wants everything a committed relationship involves except the sex part. He just needs to find Tuck a guy who can do that part of things and keep Tucker's heart for himself. But, he does notice that Tuck is sexy. I mean, of course he has eyes.
[image]
A lot of people have mentioned that both of these guys are idiots, hence the title, but Tucker really isn't. He knows that Dunn loves him as a friend, so he is trying really hard to guard his heart. I think that is smart. As a girl who had a gazillion gay friends (and brother), I have dried more tears over the straight boy that keeps them on the hook and then goes off with a girl so many times that I wish all gay boys would guard their hearts a little better with their straight friends. I also have seen a lot of straight guys who really enjoy the attention they can get from the gay boys so they string them along and flirt a bit all while knowing that they aren't switching teams or becoming a switch hitter. And, that is not only unfair but disrespectful IMO. It is saying that toying with another person's emotions is okay because it's just a guy. Okay, off my soap box. Just don't flirt unless you mean it.
[image] Unless you're this guy, then flirt some more. I mean, let me know first so I can be there, then flirt away. P.S. I like bread. *wink wink*
So, yeah, there is a lot of angst. But, the funniness of this town outweighs it by a lot. I hope this series goes on forever. Please, Lucy Lennox, get your covid vaccine and take care of your health. I am very invested in your well-being now. If you need anything, maybe cake or something?, please let me know.
[image] This dump's for you! *wink wink again*...more
I've been with my husband for over 30 years now, and I actually still like him. Most days. But, you need to realize that it is a battle. Read the Art I've been with my husband for over 30 years now, and I actually still like him. Most days. But, you need to realize that it is a battle. Read the Art of War before marriage, not some stupid romantic bullshit.
[image] I noticed there is no wood chipper option. I wonder why?
You will need it to establish your borders. And, then you have to defend them as if it were the last piece of pie. Because, you let them get away with taking that last piece of pie once, and suddenly they think they get the last piece of every pie - pizza and sweet variety. You just Austria-ed yourself, girl. You ain't getting that land back. Welcome to "No Second Piece of Pie For You Land". Population: you, loser. Yeah, I should be a marriage counselor.
[image] See? He'll make his own damn coffee now. Good wifing!
This book is the war-preparation for the final battle. In other words, they are engaged. Neither of them are happy and they are using guerrilla warfare to sneakily try and get the other to retreat. The victor gets the spoils: sympathy and being the one who was wronged. The loser looks like an ass. These two are so passive-aggressive that they could give How to Be a Mother-in-Law lessons at the YMCA.
[image] This is why they never give us pockets, ladies. The MAN is trying to keep us down.
It's entertaining fun. So, we are waiting to see which one will break.... and break up, but then something new happens and maybe they will save the train-wreck that their relationship has become.
It turned pretty sappy-sweet, but I was good with that. It was like a Sour Patch Kid. Without all that sour hitting your mouth first, you would find it too sweet, but your ready for it when it gets sweet and gooey. It's just right.
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There were a lot of funny moments going on here. And, I can say that I hated, and then loved, them equally throughout the story. It was a total victory overall....more
Crazy stalker-girl behavior will totally pay off! You will get the billionaire of your dreams.
Now, get out there and stalk the crap The message here:
Crazy stalker-girl behavior will totally pay off! You will get the billionaire of your dreams.
Now, get out there and stalk the crap out of that guy. Don't take "no" for an answer. Break into his apartment. Grab a dick. Hack his computer. Spy on him. It's all cute, sexy stuff that guys look for in future wives.
Cute. A totally rom-com chick lit thing. Which... well, I don't know why I keep reading in this genre. It gets old real quick. But, I think most peoplCute. A totally rom-com chick lit thing. Which... well, I don't know why I keep reading in this genre. It gets old real quick. But, I think most people would really like this because the banter is witty.
[image] Yes, almost this good.
So, we have the girl from the last book, Ember, who was happily married with a kid. Until, the husband decides to leave her. For reasons. She is stuck living in a big city that she hates because of custody stuff and does transcription for money. She's depressed. To amuse herself she writes funny little comments on her drafts of the transcriptions that she erases before they get sent in to the employer. So, you know it's gonna happen, she accidentally has one go out where she's called the guy "shit mouth" and he sees it.
[image] This guy has witty banter potential. And weed. Call me.
Luckily, he thinks this is the greatest thing ever. He loves being called shit mouth!! He also just happens to be hot as hell, a war hero, single, young, and living close to Ember. Oh, what serendipity!!! What are the odds??
[image]
So, hilarious (meaning mildly amusing if you are in the frame of mind to laugh easily) emails are exchanged. And, he looks at her Facebook profile to find out she has a nice ass. Now, this is important because her ass is talked about more often than the words "during these difficult times" are said in every commercial now.
[image] Wow, her photoshop game is .. just terrible. Someone call the police.
And, don't worry, there is a cute kid who says hilarious things too! It just wouldn't be the same without a kid doing things like naming his pet hedgehog Ron Jeremy. Oh, the hilarity!
[image] Hilarious kid. You get an F, as in Fries, as in "Do you want fries with that?" Get used to it.
Blah. It's a Hallmark Channel movie with a bunch of f-bombs and sex added in. So, Hallmark After Dark.. is that a thing? I feel like it should be a thiBlah. It's a Hallmark Channel movie with a bunch of f-bombs and sex added in. So, Hallmark After Dark.. is that a thing? I feel like it should be a thing. Why not have DJ and Aunt Becky doing some soft-core porn for the horny mommies at night? They are obviously willing to do pretty much any acting gig available.
[image] Wow, this is amazingly accurate. I'd be afraid to ask the maker of this to predict the day and manner of my death.
Yes, small-town girl has a dream job in the big city, but is publicly shamed and loses it all so she has to return home to small town. Oh, but also her dad, the lovable cantankerous old man with eccentricities who is just trying to eat bacon, had a heart attack so she also has to take care of him. But then she needs to go work on a farm as a nanny to the lovable scamps that her teenage hate-crush is raising alone while being a hot cowboy. Words are exchanged and she learns the true meaning of Christmas while getting nailed in a barn.
[image]
Well, except it isn't Christmas - but you know. All the other stuff.
Plus, what's with the whole small towns must have town dances? I have a hard time believing this is truly happening in Podunk, USA. But, it's standard stuff in these kind of books. And, if there was such a thing really happening, would super attractive 20-somethings really be out there cutting a rug with Bob and Alice who are only 60 years young and trying out their new hips? Cuz, I don't think they would. There wasn't enough 'medicinal' pot in the world to get me to a place where square dancing with the old folks at the town community hall would have sounded like a good time to me at that age.
[image] If I ever get old enough to do this shit just shoot me in the face please. Totally not joking this time.
There were a few moments that I thought were somewhat okay, but nothing special at all. I have the next one in the series and I will read it because I read book three a while back and liked it. Maybe this was just a case of a slow start to a series.
For some reason I thought this book was going to be howlingly funny. It wasn't. I only felt mildly amused when the old ladies were drinking vodka mixeFor some reason I thought this book was going to be howlingly funny. It wasn't. I only felt mildly amused when the old ladies were drinking vodka mixed with Ensure cocktails. I really liked those old ladies. They knew how to party.
[image]
On the whole this book is just blah. Everything you'd expect. It was supposed to be enemies-to-friends, but they never really had that fun enemy rivalry at all. Within the first pages they kissed each other, so we didn't get a fun build-up either.
[image] Nothing is better if it's too soon. The word "premature" comes to mind.
There was so much potential. They go to her family's ranch for a wedding and he poses as her boyfriend and there were hijinx. Her family was great, there was a crazy grandpa, and even the unexpected ex-boyfriend showing up (why, I don't know because he said hello and then seemed to just mysterious vanish. Why was he even there?). But, the interactions weren't funny enough. It tried. I give the book credit for trying, but it felt flat to me.
Would it have killed her to give us an epilogue?? It was a good ending, but still. A little abrupt. It's like she wrote almost 500 pages and then justWould it have killed her to give us an epilogue?? It was a good ending, but still. A little abrupt. It's like she wrote almost 500 pages and then just said, fuck it, I'm done.
[image]
Still, this book was hilarious, touching, and kind of crazy at times. I loved the two main characters, but even the side characters really came to life. This one couple, each being a little "intellectually challenged", stole the show every time they showed up. The guy even considered the "fake boyfriend job" before remembering he wasn't gay. And had a fiance. So stupid.... but so funny!
[image]
The couple is Luc and Oliver - complete opposites, but in the best way. They brought out the best in each other. Kind of like peanut butter on waffles. Sure, it doesn't sound like it would work, but trust me, kids, and try it instead of butter. With the syrup. You will see the magic of things-that-shouldn't-go-together-but-do.
[image]
Yes, there is a fake boyfriend thing going on, but it was real from moment one. There was great chemistry and sexual tension, and I would think that there was a bit of a let-down when there were no sex scenes, but a fade to black thing, but I didn't feel that. It felt like it fit perfectly with the rest of the story.
[image] Yeah, I don't want to make it a habit to have the no-sex book, but just this once was okay. I guess.
To make up for the lack of smut, there was a lot of situational humor and tons of feels everywhere, which also usually wouldn't be my thing. Again, it just worked. Plus, I can relate to a guy who feels like a fuck-up because he can't get his apartment clean and ends up crying in the corner while eating a can of Pringles in the mess of his life. I think most of us could relate to those moments.
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Overall, it was practically perfect in every way....more
Do you ever find a book on your shelf, think you never read it, then start reading it, only to realize you did actually read it but never reviewed it Do you ever find a book on your shelf, think you never read it, then start reading it, only to realize you did actually read it but never reviewed it or anything?
Yeah, that's what happened here. I think I liked this book. I don't know why I didn't review it. What's not to like about Rednecks in love?
Well, yes - at least partially. They totally would have naDoes it pass Jilly's test for all mysteries:
Could Scooby and the gang have solved this case?
Well, yes - at least partially. They totally would have nailed at least one bad guy and that guy would have gleefully rued those meddling kids and their dog!
[image] Hey, they can solve any crime involving a mysterious character in a mask. Don't be hatin'
This is a book for people who love Agatha Christi, or the game Clue (and given my Scooby Doo love, I'm guessing you can figure out whether I'm comparing it to the literature or the children's game). It's a closed-room kind of mystery and lots of fun because you don't even know who was murdered until close to the end of the book. It was fun figuring out who that would be (although, come on. (view spoiler)[ I wanted to kill the person myself, Captain Obvious! (hide spoiler)])
[image] I like Mark's style. Can I have his number?
Our party is a group of friends who really shouldn't be friends anymore at all because they mostly hate each other. They get together every New Year's Eve by taking a vacation and have a nice passive-aggressive party. The characters are a little stereotypical, but that's fine in this setting. Nobody is reinventing the wheel here.
[image] Although maybe they should. This is fucking glorious! Where can I get one? Take all my money!
As you would expect, everyone in this party shows up with a suitcase full of secrets and a mind full of murder.
[image]
And, they get snowed-in together! With a killer! O. M. G.! Who would have guessed?
[image] Okay. I'll stop now.
This book is a page-turner. Written from various POV's, you will have fun as each new secret is revealed and you keep guessing who the murderer and the victim will be. Did I figure it out? Actually, yes. There were enough clues there. But, did I have a great time anyway? Absolutely. It was yummy.
The only thing I missed was a better epilogue....more
At the end of this book the authors say that they came up with the idea for it and were laughing hysterically the whole time. I couldn't help but wondAt the end of this book the authors say that they came up with the idea for it and were laughing hysterically the whole time. I couldn't help but wonder how much drinking was involved or maybe over-tiredness(?) Because it wasn't funny. At all. And, there wasn't even any funny banter. As a matter of fact, I would say that if anyone is triggered by abusive relationships they should stay away.
Here's the reality: This book is about a physically disabled girl being severely abused by employers that have groomed her since the age of 16 to believe that she had no choice but to accept this abuse. The abuse was mental, verbal, and physical in that she was forced to work unreasonable hours and in ways that literally hurt her because of her disability. Every aspect of her life was controlled by them. She is continually gas-lighted. And, she is even afraid to tell the truth of her situation to her therapist because of how completely terrified she is of her boss.
The male romantic lead is a newer employee who sees through what is going on and is rightfully outraged. But, he was purposely hired because he would also have no options and be at their mercy.
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Okay. So, as a romance, and maybe a book about someone finding the power to take control over their life, does it work? Not really, because there is not enough time to build on that. There are too many holes and not enough substance to build a relationship. It is weak in that way. We see them start out not liking each other much, because of reasons, and then they suddenly are in love.
[image] But yesterday you said you hated me.
How about a fun chick-lit type of book? Nope. Like I said, where was the funny? Where was the banter? How about silly situations? None of that happened.
[image]
It was a messy story about these two poor, stuck people running around watching some spoiled, bratty stars act like babies who never would have made it where they did if they really acted this way. The shenanigans of the married couple's bad marriage wasn't even funny or entertaining.
Oh come on, guys!! REally? Yes, our standards are lower for the Kindle Unlimited freebies, but come on! Why are you all rating this so high and gettinOh come on, guys!! REally? Yes, our standards are lower for the Kindle Unlimited freebies, but come on! Why are you all rating this so high and getting my hopes up for some funny cute romance just to crush my hopes and dreams?
[image]
Okay, so I was down with the fact that this wasn't going to be a highly original story. I mean, where can you really go with the whole fake-to-real relationship trope? Obviously they start out as a fake couple, develop feelings, a series of misunderstandings make them think the other isn't into them, there is angst, then they get their heads out of their asses through some sort of event like a life-threatening thing or whatever, and they live HEA. That's the formula. Just like Hallmark movies, it writes itself.
[image]
But, just as only women in jammies some people will still watch every Hallmark movie ever made, I will read tropey romance novels anyway. Sometimes it's fun to just enjoy the ride that you have rode many times and liked well enough. You know, like marriage. (unnecessary husband burn!)
The problem is that the characters were NOT enjoyable people. I would hate both of them in real life. She's like some overgrown woman-child, and he's the kind of guy who says horrible things to their girlfriend then immediately apologizes but then does it again the next day until she has an eating disorder and low self-esteem. I really couldn't stand them.
Let's start the character assassination completely fair review with her, shall we? Her name is Parker and she dresses like she is 5 years old - which we all know is so sexy. Yeah, if a man gets a boner because a girl is wearing the clothing that I wore to kindergarten, he needs to be arrested. But, not only does she think she rocks the children's department clothing, but she also can't bring herself to utter a swear word. Give me a fucking break! You aren't five Parker!! Whatever idiotic girl-version of Peter Pan Syndrome you are dealing with - get some therapy if you can't act like a grown-up.
[image] This only cuts it in the Good Place. Real life involves cursing. Real cursing.
So, not only does Parker use stupid fake-curse words and literally say "the f-word", like a fucking idiot, but she is also a "Save the Planet" person who gets on her soapbox in her stupid children's dress every chance she gets. You want to annoy the rest of the people who weren't annoyed with you over the cursing thing? Just start preaching about recycling. Again. I mean, she was so annoying about it that I want to go out and litter just to spite her cabbage-patch clothes wearing ass.
[image]
So, Parker sucked.
Let's move on to the douche guy. His name is Rhys and he is an ex-boxer. Problem is that he still likes to deal those knock-out punches verbally if not physically. After he and Parker make-out:
Him: "Don't pretend like you don't know how you were acting... Fuck, sweetheart, you light up so hot, I was just along for the ride. You like that for your society boys, or does slumming it get you off?"
Yikes. Slut shaming the girl you are into? Good way to get her to love you. A proven formula is to break down a girl's self-esteem so much that she feels lucky to have you. Yes, he apologizes. But, it's not the only time he says something shitty to her like that. He lashes out the second he feels she has slighted him and that is something that is just not bearable over time. He says and does things out of anger that have consequences for other people. Even the whole reason he is doing this fake-relationship thing with her in the first place is because of stupid crap that he pulled that was unfair to his brother and to Parker. I just couldn't like the guy.
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So, this book just didn't do it for me. I'm also disappointed in all of you for making me read it. You need to go and think about what you have done now.
The hubs and I have been binge-watching Hannibal. You know, because I wanted to feel nausea every time I go to eat from now on. All of that eating witThe hubs and I have been binge-watching Hannibal. You know, because I wanted to feel nausea every time I go to eat from now on. All of that eating without feeling sick was getting old.
[image] No. You're making me sick, ya psycho! Get out of my head!
So, as usual, I go to read my smutty-bad-boys book after the hubs goes to bed - as a palate cleanser. But, NOOOOoo, this one has its own crazy psycho killer who wants to torture/kill/& maybe eat one of the heroes. I was not happy with this turn of events. I was as disappointed as when I had tried to microwave my first vegetarian meal earlier.
[image] Then I was nauseous and confused.
Thank God for chocolate! And alcohol! They give so much and ask so little.
But, even though there was some discomfort during the psycho's pages of the book, I still really enjoyed it because there was still great pacing, lots of action, and the couple's relationship is building. I am truly hoping the next book has more light moments though. My drunk, vegetarian ass needs a break, man....more
Well this was fun. It reminded me of a combination of Poison Study and Stephanie Plum books. A strange mix, yes, but it has similarities to both enougWell this was fun. It reminded me of a combination of Poison Study and Stephanie Plum books. A strange mix, yes, but it has similarities to both enough to make me confident in that assessment.
[image] Trust me, I'm an expert.
Our heroine is a food-taster in modern day Los Angeles for a secret society. Apparently all of those Hollywood drug overdose things are a bunch of hooey. The famous are actually being poisoned. So, these food-testers are hired on and hidden as their flunkies so nobody knows they have these poison detectors on hand. It's all very hush-hush for some reason.
[image] Chances of cuteness? Awesome. 10 out of 10. Chances of food without slobber in it? Not so awesome. 0 out of 10.
There is also some "sciencey" explanation for why certain people are picked to be poison-detectors and it's as believable as the rampant poisonings going on in Hollywood. Oh, and the fact that our heroine owes a loan shark money and they visited her mother once to scare her but never went back even after she was running away from them and they wanted to kill her. And the fact that she's working with this detective who has "been there, done that" seen-it-all kind of guy and yet she's the only one solving the case even though she's supposed to be eating poison as her job.
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So, okay, not everything makes sense. But, you know, if you think about it, how much does life make sense? Aren't we all just random molecules existing for some unknown reason on a giant ball of dirt-covered molten metal? What does it all mean? Why metal? Why aren't there real unicorns? What's up with the platypus? See, not everything makes sense. Just go with it. Read a book that's light, fun, and makes more sense than a platypus.
This is a cute and funny male-male romance that is also very smutty. It's like a triple scoop of ice cream fFree on Kindle Unlimited right now.
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This is a cute and funny male-male romance that is also very smutty. It's like a triple scoop of ice cream for those of you who might be into that kind of thing. Not that I would eat that much ice cream at once...
[image] Technically that's one big scoop.
The book is really short, so there is some insta-love, but that's ok because the chemistry between the two guys was hot. Boone is our main character. He was just dumped and is looking for some rebound sex and Wade is happy to provide. He's a giver.
[image] um... okay. I'm not going to kink-shame, but wow.
I can't tell you too much about the book because it's too short and I'll spoil it. But, there is a small town with fun, wacky characters, a lot of snow, and hot man-sex.
The only problem is that the book kind of ends in the middle of the story. The next one better be free too, K.U., or Jilly's gonna get angry. Don't be all hooking me in with your funny hot guys and then making me pay to get more action. This ain't cyber porn!.... Although it is porny... and I am reading electronically. Huh. Okay, maybe it is cyber porn. I accept myself for being a porny freak.
[image] So, how does she pay her bill? Does he offer her a job at his plumbing company to be the scrappy new plumbing apprentice? I hear that plumbers make good money. That would be a good opportunity for her....more
Minerva is the heroine of our story and she is the kind of girl who makes her other friends look hottYay, funny and sarcastic! Jilly's kind of thing!!
Minerva is the heroine of our story and she is the kind of girl who makes her other friends look hotter by comparison. She's also a bit chubby and hasn't eaten a carb in years. In other words, miserable. I've always said that you can never be happy unless you eat carbs. I went on a carb-free diet for a few months and, although I lost weight, I also went on a killing spree. You probably saw me on the news. I killed the crap out of tons of pigs. You know, because of all the bacon I ate. But, believe me, I was unpleasant to be around. Yeah, I know that's hard to believe because of all of the joy I bring to your life, but it's true. In other words - without carbs life is a vast hellscape that never ends.... until you eat one again... Yeah, it's pretty easy to get out of hell. Just eat a Snickers.
[image] Yeah, but he looks happier after that donut.
So poor Minerva is in hell and then her boyfriend breaks up with her because she wouldn't have sex with him. To add insult to injury, she hears him making a bet with a hot guy that he can't get her to have sex with him either. Minerva does what any raging carb-starved girl would do - she decides to torture the hottie who is trying to pick her up to win a bet. I approve of this.
Cal is the hero who took the bet. He isn't interested in Minerva, and she isn't interested in him. It becomes a strange anti-relationship and you end up just waiting for the whole thing to implode.
[image] On the other hand, some people will do anything to win a bet.
Their romance is really cute and funny, and they both have friends who become a great part of the story. I cared as much about what was going on with their friends as I did about them. I kind of wanted them to get their own books, but I was happy enough that Crusie gave us their fates in an epilogue.
jennifer Crusie's style of writing is unique. I think she will be either a love-or-hate author because of it. She uses a lot of dry humor and there always seems to be a big cast in her books. I am having fun with it, so I think I'll move on to a few more. ...more
They are making a movie throughout this book and the reviewer of the movie said something that I thought was perfect for the book itself:
(when I finisThey are making a movie throughout this book and the reviewer of the movie said something that I thought was perfect for the book itself:
(when I finished) I didn't know what the hell I'd just experienced. It was stupid. And wonderful. And I was filled with joy....
That really sums it up. This book is the next one in this bizarre series that has mostly hipster stoners as the stars. They are hilarious. And stupid. And hilarious again.
[image] Ooooh, is that pumpkin spice?
Our focus is on a stoner named Josiah. He's an actor. And, he's about as smart as a box of doorknobs. But, he always wins radio trivia contests and this time he wins one to a poetry reading. He makes his other stoner friend go with him, and surprise, they are wasted. But, it's not poetry that's being read. It's .... monster porn!
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That's right, my monster porn loving friends. This book has a bizarre monster porn excerpt in it. With a bigfoot and a bisexual frat boy who didn't realize his bisexuality until the bigfoot. Hey, once you see hairy, bisexuality ain't scary. I think I heard that somewhere.... Or made it up this very second... Either way...
[image] He's reconsidering all of his life choices now.
Josiah meets Quincy, the author of said monster-porn, and wants to be his friend. But, don't forget the part where he's really really stoned. Things don't go as well as you might expect. Or, considering the weed, they go exactly like you would expect.
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Josiah is dumb, but he was really funny and sweet. I loved how clueless he was about most everything. When he looked up how to flirt online, and it told him to whisper something personal about himself in his crush's ear, this is what he came up with:
It was going perfectly. His mouth felt fresh and clean. Now all he had to do was whisper something interesting about himself. "I don't like salamanders because wet lizards creep me out."
Okay, maybe that made me laugh more than it should have. But, I am creeped out by any lizard - wet or dry - so that line would have totally worked on me.
This book was super fun if you like the strange once in a while. For me, it's always good to roam around the genres to keep things fresh. This was very fresh. ...more
How could I not love a romance novel that has the couple's first sexual encounter be an absolute disaster? There was no magic, or multiples, or insta-How could I not love a romance novel that has the couple's first sexual encounter be an absolute disaster? There was no magic, or multiples, or insta-love. It was awkward, not fun, just-waiting-for-it-to-be-over, fake-orgasm sex.
[image] They had gluten-free pizza sex. With pineapples and anchovies. That bad.
So, she tells him that she prefers her vibrator to him, and he tells her that it was awful but he's willing to have them practice and get better. And, if that wasn't just the truest example of the male/female mindset I don't know what is.
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This book, like the first one in the series, had a lot of characters in it. They were all very quirky and fun with their own little stories going on. I like how Jennifer Crusie is able to juggle all of that so well. But, it does make it take a little longer to get hooked into her stories (for me). But, like the first book, I found myself really invested about halfway through and I'm looking forward to reading more.
The story itself is about a guy trying to steal his money back from the lady he originally stole it from, and a girl trying to steal a forged painting back from the same lady. This lady is not having a good day. But, don't worry, she deserves a LOT of bad days.
They meet while each of them are hiding in the lady's closet after they separately broke into her house. Instead of a meet-cute, it was a meet-loot. So romantic!
[image] Came for the goods. Stayed for true love.
The two of them end up deciding to help each other and it's funny craziness throughout. One warning: the guy is kind of a dick for a bit. He is continually checking out other women even after these two sleep together. I was happy when she told him that her vibrator was better than him. He totally needed a slap-down. But, he ends up being awesome by the end.
I don't know if these books are for everyone, but I like the sarcasm and craziness going on and am going to read more of her stuff....more
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